Opportunity Keeps Knocking

February 12, 2009

Yesterday we heard about how true self sees everything as an opportunity.  Today we look at the old saying “Opportunity knocks but once.”  We will explore the idea that opportunity keeps knocking – we just need to learn to hear it.

 

Say it ain’t so

Ok – it ain’t so!  I am officially saying that it is not true that opportunity only knocks once.  To go back to what we use as our touchstone on this blog – “we exist to learn and grow and to share that learning and growth with each other.”

 

Because we exist to learn and grow, then all of Existence is there to help us with that learning and growth.  If we need something to advance our learning and growth, Existence must provide it.

 

That something that we need to learn and grow is the same as an opportunity.  When we say that we need something, we are actually saying that we need an opportunity for learning.  When we ask for learning, Existence always provides that opportunity.

 

By that logic, when we are looking for an opportunity, we are always answered.  The opportunities actually come in multiple ways.  We heard about how those answers come to us in our post “Ask and You Will be Answered.”  The bottom line is that the opportunities keep coming until we finally see one that works for us.  In this sense, opportunity keeps knocking until we finally answer the door.

 

What the saying means

Here is my perspective on what this old saying really means.  I think that it is trying to remind us that we need to learn to recognize opportunity as soon as we can.  Once we have asked for an opportunity to learn, the sooner we see that opportunity the sooner we continue our path of learning.

 

Another aspect of this old saying is that we will frequently get caught in self doubt.  We have repeatedly seen how the false self does not like change.  An opportunity represents change.  This can be quite scary to the false self.  It may want an opportunity but it does not want to change anything in the process.

 

I think that this old saying is telling us to listen to our true self.  When an opportunity resonates with us, then we should not listen to the fear and doubts of false self.  It has never been very wise before, so why should we accept its advice now?

 

One final word

Just because you see an opportunity now, do not think that you must follow it.  We are always presented with a range of opportunities.  The one you see now may sound good, but for some reason it does not resonate with your true self.  Do not worry – an opportunity that does resonate is on the way.  You just have to learn to be in the moment and patient.  Eventually you will see the best opportunity for you – at this moment.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

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The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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The Compass vs. False Self

September 9, 2008

Review

For the last few days we have been learning to use my compass.  This is a tool that has been very helpful to me over the years.  Today we will look at how the compass can help us to recognize false self behavior.

 

Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

The compass is true self

What I have done with the compass is to substitute the way that true self looks at existence for the false self illusions.  When we are first created, long before we are able to take a physical lifetime, one of the first things true self learns is why we were created.

 

If you think about it, shouldn’t we know why we are created?  Shouldn’t that also be something simple and easy to understand?  I keep repeating this, but what could be more simple and easy to understand?

 

The reason that we exist is to learn and grow and share that learning and growth with each other.

 

The only rule is that we do not interfere with the free will of another individual because that interferes with their ability to learn and grow in the manner that they choose.

 

Our true self learned this concept almost as soon as we were created.  We have lived our entire existence based on this idea.  We have used this as our guide during our countless lifetimes on other planets.  We have used this during the time that we are nonphysical and are not physically present anywhere.

 

The only time we do not use this principle on which we were created is when we follow what passes for decisions made by our false self when we are on this planet.  As we have stated in many previous posts, this is because we have not properly trained false self to listen to the guidance of true self.

 

The compass vs. false self

For the past month we have taken a long look at false self.  We have attempted to understand why we have a false self, recognize some of the false self behaviors, and explain different kinds of false self attachments.  There is a common thread that runs through all false self behavior.  That thread is that we are not reading our compass.

 

At first it can be very difficult to live our lives by taking readings from our compass.  Many of the ideas and behaviors that we take for granted are diametrically opposed to the compass readings.

 

False self thinks that it has to look after itself first before it can take care of others.  This is true, but not necessarily in the way that false self thinks it is.  False self thinks that if it helps someone else it has to give up or lose something.  False self is convinced that if it shares something with someone else that means that it no longer has what it shared.

 

Think about this for a minute.  If our primary purpose is to learn and then share that learning, how can there be a finite amount of learning?  Isn’t there always something more to learn?  When false self is afraid of losing something when it shares what it has learned – all it is doing is believing in an illusion.

 

There is an infinite amount of knowledge to be gained and there is nothing that true self can lose when it shares that learning.  False self is the only one worried about loss when anything is shared.

 

So much for the learning and sharing part of reading compass.  Let’s look at the part of the reading that talks about not interfering with free will.

 

False self interferes with free will all of the time.  Let’s look at a few situations where it is easy to see this in action.

 

False self is fearful and wants to change a situation so that the fear is eliminated.  One common way of changing the situation is to demand that other people change their behavior.  We find this deliberate interference in everything from our personal relationships, to our justice system and even in international relations.

 

This happens in our personal relationships when our spouse does something that causes us fear.  It may be that our possessiveness is triggered when they talk to someone else.  Possessiveness is just a false self fear.  Even though our spouse may find the conversation very helpful, we demand that they do not talk to this person again.  Our false self behavior – fear – has caused us to interfere with the way our spouse is choosing to learn.

 

In our criminal justice system this happens when we continue to punish individuals who have committed a crime and are attempting to learn form their mistake.  I am not saying that people do not make mistakes.  Neither am I saying that there are many people who do not want to learn from their mistakes. 

 

My point is that there are many people who do the crime, do their time, and then are punished for the rest of their lives.  When we create a justice system that does not make the effort to truly rehabilitate those who want to rehabilitate themselves we are interfering with the free will of those individuals.

 

The same is true for international relations.  When one country decides that it is afraid of another country it usually decides to punish the other country.  The punishments can range from economic sanctions to pre-emptive war.

 

The dispute is usually between the leaders of those countries, not between the citizens who make up the populations of the country.  By punishing the citizens of a country because of a dislike of their leader we are interfering with their free will to live the way they chose.  Who knows, given enough time and free will they might even get rid of their leader and chose one that we like.

 

Multiple levels

We have just seen how we can apply our compass to false self based fear.  These examples looked at several levels from the personal to the international.  They all share the same root.

 

False self based fear is not the only way that we trigger interference with the free will of others.  It is just one of the more common ways.  One of the ways we can learn to use the compass is to use it to read our relationships with those around us as well as our thoughts about the situations around us.  Whenever the compass tells us that we are interfering with the free will of other individuals we have found a very good indication that we are engaging in false self behavior.

 

That’s all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Take a Compass Reading

September 8, 2008

Welcome back

Welcome back.  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  Here in the northeast US we had tropical storm Hanna move through on Saturday.  That was a warm and humid day that eventually begat a lot of rain and wind.  Fortunately there was limited damage in this area.  Sunday was a great day with lots of sunshine and comfortable temperatures.

 

We ended last week with a look at my compass.  Today we will take a closer look at how to take a reading with my compass.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

How to read the compass

On Friday we talked about a tool that I call my compass.  The compass has guided me through many confused situations over the years.

 

To quickly review, the compass is based on the concept that the reason we exist is to learn and grow and to share that learning with each other.  The only rule is that we do not interfere with the free will of another individual because that keeps them from being able to learn and grow in the ways that they choose.

 

When I take a reading with the compass I am looking for understanding within a situation.  The readings usually happen when I come across a situation that appears to be confusing.  Sometimes I look to the compass to help me see how the learning of the individuals in the situation is being supported.  At other times I look to the compass to see when the free will of individuals is being repressed.  Understanding these points helps me to more clearly evaluate the situation.

 

On Friday I showed how I have used the compass to help understand a political situation.  Today we will look at a more personal situation.  Let’s take a look at how to use the compass to help understand a personal relationship.

 

Reading a relationship

Many of us have been in less than healthy relationships.  We might have been able to see that the relationship was not healthy while we were in it.  Often we could not see why the relationship was not healthy.  Taking a reading on our compass might help us to understand the situation.

 

Many of us have been in relationships where one individual was exhibiting controlling behavior.  That individual might have even been us.  Let’s look at one example a possibly controlling behavior.

 

Suppose that one spouse does not want the other spouse to work.  The one spouse makes enough money that the other spouse does not need to work.  (I recognize that in the current economy both spouses usually have to work, but let’s go along with the example for now.)  There could be a variety of reasons for the one spouse to demand the other does not work.  There could also be a number of reasons for the other spouse to work anyway.

 

If we are the spouse that wants to work and we want some guidance regarding the situation, we pull out our compass.  We look first at the aspect of learning and growth.  Do we want to work because we want to further our learning and growth?  If so we make note of that and continue to take the next part of the reading.

 

If we want to work only to get out of the house then it is probably not that important to our learning and growth.  We make note of that and move on to the next part of the reading.

 

Now we look at the second factor.  Is someone interfering with the free will of an individual?  This can get tricky to understand.  Many times when someone is interfering with the free will of another they do not realize it.  Also, we can be ultrasensitive when we think someone is interfering with our free will.  We need to be as objective as possible when we take this part of the reading.

 

Let’s say we think that our spouse is interfering with our free will by arbitrarily telling us not to work.  This is a very serious situation and requires more analysis.

 

What we should do in this situation is to look at their behavior in other situations.  We need to find out if our spouse has a habit of controlling other individuals to take away their free will, or are they just doing it in this situation.  If they do not have a habit of taking away free will, then we address just this instance.  If they have a habit of controlling people then that has implications on our entire relationship with this individual.

 

Taking a reading does not mean taking action

It is important to understand that we do not always have to take action after we have taken a compass reading.  In our society we are so accustomed to taking action that we have almost lost the skill of reflection.  We think that if we see something that we must act immediately.

 

In this case I urge that when we take a compass reading that we do nothing other than to think about the situation.  The compass is best used for large decisions that should be approached carefully and with much thought.

 

Look at this way – the compass tells us the course that we need to steer.  Once we know where we need to go we should reserve some time to determine how to get there.  In the current example that would mean not reacting as soon as we have taken our compass reading.

 

Let’s say that we have found that we want to go back to work because we want to continue our learning and growth.  We have also found that our spouse does not have a habit of controlling others, but for some reason is acting in a controlling manner in this situation.

 

These two factors should make up the basis of a discussion between us and our spouse.  That discussion may take several months and many conversations to resolve the situation.  Our spouse may not see that they are being controlling.  It may take a few discussions for them to see that they are keeping us from learning and growing.  In the end, if they really care for us they will help us with our learning and growing.

 

I cannot stress the importance of thinking about the results of our compass reading before we take action.  Many times an immediate and reflexive action is false self behavior.  If you are a regular reader of this site you will know how damaging that can be.

 

That’s all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Summarizing the False Self

August 22, 2008

Thankful Friday

As always, we will take a moment and thank those around us for their work and assistance.  Our first thank you goes out to the imsezha who have provided such wonderful weather for the last two weeks.  The weather this month in this area of the northeast US has been close to perfect.  (If you want to know who the imsezha are post a comment asking the question.)

 

Our second thanks goes to our readers.  Thank you for taking the time to read this site on a regular basis.  Our final thanks goes to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free tools that make this site possible.  Thanks!

 

What is the false self?

For the past few weeks we have taken a very detailed look at the concepts of true self and false self.  Today we are going to summarize the major characteristic of the false self and how it functions.  Our hope is that the more we recognize false self the more we will recognize the pain that comes from living in the false self identity.

 

We have learned that false self begins to be created as soon as we are born.  It knows it is supposed to be trained by true self.  True self is our nonphysical self that is the repository for everything we have ever learned.  At the beginning of each lifetime it is supposed to take charge and train false self to be the eyes and ears for true self during the lifetime.  True self is supposed to make all the decisions, not false self.

 

On this planet we do not do this with our infants.  The parents do not understand what true self is, so they allow the false self to take charge.  False self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge and begins to form its identity based on this fear of being alone and being in charge.

 

False Self Forms Attachments

False self in an infant is supposed to look to true self for guidance and its identity.  Because we do not train our infants to listen to true self our infants begin to take their false self identity from the physical objects around them.

 

The initial attachments that an infant forms are to their body and to those people around it.  Gradually the infant begins to form attachments to their thoughts and ideas.

 

By the time the child is about seven years old these initial attachments are set strongly enough that they will govern the child’s behavior for the rest of their life – or until they learn to retrain the false self.  There are times when true self steps in and says that we can rid ourselves of an attachment or a fear, and we do so.  However these times are relatively few and far between.

 

A Tangled Web of Fears and Attachments

As we have just seen, false self begins to form its identity from the fear that it knows that it is not supposed to be in charge of the lifetime.  It has not understood that true self is supposed to make the decisions.  It has also not been trained to listen to true self for guidance.  It becomes very fearful when it comes to the conclusion that it will have to operate alone for the lifetime.

 

In order to quell that base fear false self begins to create an identity based on attachments to the things around it.  As the child gets older these attachments become the source of the false self identity.

 

The false self identity is now made of such attachments as its clothing, its automobile, its body, its nationality, its religion, and many more.  Because the false self has yet to understand that true self is always available it believes that it is actually all these attachments.

 

The additional fears come from the perceived questioning or injuring of any of the attachments.  False self identifies with its automobile.  If someone scratches that automobile, then false self perceives that it has been scratched.  False self identifies with its religious beliefs.  If someone appears to question those religious beliefs, false self views this as its identity being questioned.

 

Frequently when the false self identity is injured or questioned false self thinks it has to defend or attack in order to protect that identity.  If someone questions its political views, false self thinks it has to lash out at that someone to defend its identity.  If false self thinks someone is going to take its possessions, it attacks in order to protect those possessions and therefore its identity.

 

The Difficulty of Retraining False Self

Ok – so we are starting to see where our unhappiness comes from.  Our false self is attached to all kinds of objects, people, and thoughts that it thinks create its identity.  We spend most of our lives acting out the fears that false self experiences because it is protecting its false self identity.  We know we are unhappy.  Why can’t we learn to become happy?

 

The reason why it takes awhile to learn to be happy is that false self is resisting us at every turn.  As we start to listen to and understand our true self we also start to question the false self identity.  We start to see the fears and attachments for what they are – our source of unhappiness.

 

Initially false self does not know whether or not it can trust true self.  False self has been running things for many years and has become quite afraid of anyone or anything questioning its fears and attachments.  It has spent the entire lifetime defending those fears and attachments.  It does not like true self questioning its identity.

 

We retrain false self by continuously facing its fears and attachments.  We learn to listen to true self and the quiet little voice that will not submit to those fears and attachments.  That quiet little voice eventually convinces false self that true self understands what is going on and can be trusted.

 

Although we can have great insights and make large advancements in a single step, the typical path is one of small but frequent steps.  We see a small fear and conquer it.  We see a small attachment and let it go.  We make the small steps as we see them, but do not wait for the big steps.  Those will happen, but they will happen in their own time when we least expect them.  The gradual daily progress is what will bring us closer to our true happiness.

 

That is all for today.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Understanding More of the False Self Identity

August 21, 2008

Recap

Yesterday we started to get a sense for how the false self builds its identity.  We discussed how this identity is built from attachments.  Finally we touched on a few of the external things that false self uses to create its false identity.

 

Today we will continue the list of things false self thinks we are but true self knows that we are not.  Let’s go!

 

The List Continues

Yesterday we ended the daily post with a few of the external situations that false self uses to construct its false identity.  Here are a few more things that you are not:

 

You are not your car.  Yesterday we discussed the idea of you are not your possessions.  We also looked at the idea that you are not your clothes.  Another common thing that we think we are is our car.

 

We do not literally think we are something with four wheels and an engine.  We are attached to the image that the car gives us.  If you think about the example from yesterday about clothes, many of us approach our automobiles in the same manner.

 

A car is something that is external that can project an image.  Like becoming attached to the image clothing gives us, we become attached to the image the car gives us.  Then we transfer that attachment from the image to the car and we start to create a false identity based on our car.  As with any attachment this will eventually lead to unhappiness.

 

You are not your political party.  This one is an example of being attached to our thoughts.  We have discussed the general idea of attachment to thoughts elsewhere on this site.  Now it is time to take a closer look at some specific thoughts and ideas to which we develop attachments.

 

Many of us choose a political party that we feel represents our view point.  That is as it should be.  When we develop an attachment to that party and incorporate that attachment as a part of our identity we have doomed ourselves to unhappiness.

 

When we say “I am a Republican”, or “I am a Democrat” we are most likely showing an attachment to our political party.  We can be just as attached to being an independent.  Once again it is not the favoring of a political party; it is creating an attachment to the idea of being a member of that party and incorporating that attachment into our false identity.

 

You are not your religious beliefs.  Just like the example of attaching to a political affiliation, we do the same thing with our religious beliefs.  We determine which religion we agree with and then attach to that religion.  Next we view that attachment as part of our false self identity.

 

It is not the decision to choose a religion that creates the false self identity.  It is the choice to create an attachment that creates the false self identity.

 

Like other attachments, false self feels it is being threatened when anyone questions the object of the attachment.  In this case, when false self is questioned about its religious beliefs it feels the need to defend or attack the source of the question.

 

When we think about this last statement it explains the source of most of the conflict in the world for most of known history.  One group is threatened because another group either questions or will not accept their religious beliefs.  The attachment to those beliefs causes them to attack those who don’t share the same belief.  And on it goes.

 

You are not your age.  Another common attachment is to our age.  This one is a combination of attachment to our body and attachment to our thoughts.

 

We have preconceived ideas of how we are supposed to behave, look, and feel when we are certain ages.  We turn those preconceived ideas into attachments.  Those attachments become a part of our false self identity and we become trapped by our preconceived ideas of what being a certain age means.

 

You are not who people tell you to be.  All of our lives we are told by the people around us who or what we should be.  Our parents tell us to be a doctor, lawyer, etc.  Our siblings tell us who we should be.  Our spouse tells us who we should be.  Our co-workers tell us who we should be.  After we receive all this input is it any wonder we have no idea who we are?

 

Along the way we attempt to be what other people tell us we should be.  Sometime we do this to make them happy.  Last month we learned that we can never make someone happy.  After awhile many of us quit trying to be what others tell us to be.

 

However, many times we do not release the attachments that we developed while we were trying to be what others wanted us to be.  Please review what others have told you to be and see if that is who you really want to be.  Don’t worry; you won’t lose anything except your false identity.

 

You are not your child or spouse.  Many of us develop a false sense of identity from our attachments to our spouse or children.  This can come out in many different ways.  Let’s take a look at two examples.

 

We all know about parents who get overly involved in the sport activities of their children.  We have all heard of or witnessed parents who behave very aggressively towards coaches or referees who “are not treating their child properly”.

 

All that is happening here is that the parent is so attached to the behavior of the child that they view the child as themselves.  Their false self perceives anything that happens to the child as happening to itself and must defend or attack any hurt to the child as if false self were being hurt.

 

We have all heard of or experienced someone who will not let their spouse say or do something “because it embarrasses me.”  This behavior comes from an attachment to the spouse where the spouse’s behavior is viewed as part of the false self identity.  Just like the previous example, the false self identity is defending itself from a perceived injury.

 

You are not your job.  Finally, we are not our job.  How many of us have created a false self identity surrounding our job.  I am truck driver so I must do the following things.  I am a doctor so I must have a certain type of house or car.

 

Hopefully after all these examples we are starting to see through some of these false self identities.  A doctor can have any car or house that that fits the way they want to live.  A truck driver can behave in many ways that their fellow truck drivers might not understand.

 

Our job is just what we are doing right now.  For some of us it may be part of what our true self wants to accomplish during this lifetime.  For most of us it is what we are doing to make money.  Either way, it is not part of our identity.  It is just what we do with our time.

 

If we really are accomplishing goals determined by true self and lost our job, true self would not care.  We know that we can find another way to accomplish those goals.  We know that by losing one job we might very well find a better way to accomplish those goals.

 

That’s all for today.  Please start to look at your false self identity and begin to see how living in that false identity has been painful.  There is no reason to live an unhappy life.  Please choose to live a happy life.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


Understanding the False Self Identity – part 1

August 20, 2008

Housekeeping

My apologies that yesterdays post went out late.  When I uploaded the post I filed it as a draft.  I should have published it.  I will endeavor to publish correctly in the future.  Also, I am still resolving the issue with the daily update emails that shows each paragraph as one long line.  I will keep looking into that issue until I get it resolved.

 

Today we are going to start to look at how false self develops its identity.  Are you ready?  Here we go!

 

False Self Should Not Have an Identity

As we have discussed this idea of false self, we have gotten a feeling for the nature of the false self.  In our discussion on the origin of false self we talked about how we are supposed to train our false self to listen to true self.  False self is designed to be the physical interface for true self and nothing more.

 

Because we do not train false self properly it begins to take on an identity from its surroundings.  By the time it is about age seven it has developed a very clearly defined idea of who it thinks it is supposed to be.  It is also very attached to that self created identity.

 

Unless we learn to see through this false self identity as we grow older we continue to accept the identity and the attachments.  As we grow older we continue to add items to that identity.  Because we have not learned better, we also continue to create attachments to the new additions to our identity.  Of itself, the identity is not that much of a problem.  The real problem is the attachments.  Without the attachments the false self identity gradually fades away.  In fact that is how we eventually rid ourselves of it – we let go of the attachments.

 

None of this should happen.  False self should be trained to look to true self for identity.  Some of us start to look for a better way because our false self identity has finally become so painful that we cannot live in it any longer.  During the next few days we will look at how to identify the false self identity and gradually ease our pain and unhappiness.

 

How False Self Constructs Its Identity

When we talked about how fear comes from false self, we also mentioned how false self begins to develop it false identity.  As a young and improperly trained mind false self creates attachments to the items it finds around it.  It attaches to its body, its thoughts and the people around it.  It begins to weave these attachments into the beginning of its false identity.

 

As it grows older it begins to find other external things that it can weave into its false identity.  It might pick a political party to identify with.  It might pick a religion or ethnic group to identify with.  It might view its job as a part of its identity.  Pick an external situation or object and some false self probably views it as part of its identity.

 

Elsewhere on this site we have heard about how false self views any challenge to its attachments as a challenge to itself.  Think about this for a minute.  If false self thinks that it really is all these situations to which it is attached, then it has no choice but to defend itself when those situations or attachments are questioned.

 

By questioning the situations or attachments you are questioning the identity of false self.  It thinks that it has to defend or even attack when questioned or else it will lose its identity.  It does not see that the identity is based on improper understanding.  All it knows is that it is being questioned and must defend or attack.

 

This is the source of the pain that comes when we live within this false self identity.  We are always defending or attacking in order to protect our false identity.  After awhile this becomes wearisome and many of us seek a better way to live.

 

A Few Things You Are Not

False self probably has hundreds of external situations that it thinks collectively create its identity.  I would be writing for years if I tried to list them all.  Instead we will start with a few today and continue the list tomorrow.

 

You are not our body.  True self knows that this body is only temporary and will exist only for the current lifetime.  False self is encouraged by those around it to view its body as an integral part of its identity.  Any injury to the body becomes an injury to false self which causes continuous pain and suffering.

 

You are not your opinions.  False self is constantly looking for something to help create its false identity.  Thoughts are very handy because they are always close at hand.  False self creates opinions on everything and then attaches to those opinions.  False self takes those attachments and adds them to the false identity.

 

You are not your possessions.  False self takes anything close at hand and attaches to it and then adds those attachments to its false identity.  Possessions are always nearby so they are easily added to the false self.  Like any other attachment false self sees loss of or damage to a possession as damage to itself.  Once again we see another continuous source of pain caused by false self.

 

You are not your clothes.  This is a variation on the idea of you are not your possessions.  I will mention it because many of us acquire clothes for the purpose of creating an “image”.  That “image” usually originates from false self looking to create or project its false identity.  We become unhappy if we do not have the right clothes to project this “image”.  We also become unhappy if this “image” does not make us happy.  That is a bit of circular logic, but false self does not care about logic.  It just goes and acquires some new clothes which it will use to project its “new image”.  And of course it will become unhappy with this “new image” and will have to create another “new image”.  And on it goes until we become tired of the pain.

 

That’s it for today.  Tomorrow we will look at more things that false thinks we are and true self knows we are not.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

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How True Self Uses Possessions

August 19, 2008

How True Self Uses Possessions

 

Recap

Yesterday we looked at how false self attaches itself to possessions.  We heard about the way false self feels hurt when one of our possessions is damaged.  We also started to get a feeling for the idea that we should view possessions as tools that we use while we are learning and growing.

 

Today we will take a closer look at how true self uses possessions.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

True Self for Our Learning

We have seen how false self wants to attach to many things, especially possessions.  True self is happy and self contained.  When we are being our true self we realize that objects and possessions are temporary.  They come into our lives when we need them and we should not get upset when they leave our lives.

 

True self views all objects as tools which it needs to do its job.  What is that job?  As we have stated many times on this site – we exist to learn and grow and share that learning and growth with each other.  So the job of our true self is to continue to learn and grow.

 

True self evaluates all objects and possessions in the light of what it needs to learn and grow.  When an object is no longer needed for our learning true self does not care if it leaves our life – true self just allows that object to leave.  We will not hang on to the object because of attachment.  We will maintain possession only if we anticipate needing that object.

 

True self does not care if an unneeded object leaves our possession.  True self views this as one less thing we have to look after.  True self also knows that if an object leaves our possession and we need it again – then we will acquire it again.

 

At first this might seem like a lot of work.  First we acquire something and then we let it go.  Then we acquire it again.  However, once the object has ceased to be useful, how can we know if we are going to ever need it again?  I view that the work required to maintain the object “just in case” is usually far more work than letting it go and then getting it back again.  If we let it go and then get it back we might get a better one back or one that is more suited for the task.

 

Also, the fewer possessions we have the more simple our life becomes.  The more simple our life becomes the more time we have to concentrate on our real job of learning and sharing that learning.

 

True Self and Status Symbols

Status symbols are just another way to describe attachments.  A status symbol is supposed to convey a certain image about the person who possesses the status symbol.  False self is concerned about identity so it seeks status symbols and other methods of conspicuous consumption.  We will discuss false self and identity later this week.  For now, let’s just accept that anytime we seek to purchase a status symbol we are acting from false self.

 

True self can purchase a status symbol and not do so from an attachment.  Let’s take a look at the example of buying a watch.  True self realizes that we need a watch in order to keep track of time.  It is important that when we make a commitment to be somewhere on time that we honor that commitment.

 

So we need a watch – which one should we buy?  If we look at simple functionality an inexpensive watch could be all that we need.  However, an inexpensive watch may not be durable enough.  True self recognizes that we will need to keep track of time for the rest of our lifetime.  Now we consider a more expensive and more durable watch.

 

Next, true self looks at the social situations that it will be in while wearing the watch.  If we will be in very formal situations then we will need a watch that is appropriate for those situations.  That would mean we now need a durable and handsomely decorated watch.

 

True self is also able to afford an upscale watch without financial hardship.  We have now worked ourselves into the territory of some watches that many people would consider as status symbols.  However, true self is viewing this in a pragmatic manner.  We need a watch.  The correct watch for our needs is considered a status symbol.  True self does not care about status symbols – it only cares about acquiring the correct watch.  If the correct watch had been a $10 throw away watch, that is what true self would have acquired, even if we could have afforded a $100 watch.

 

It is all about acquiring the correct tool for the job.  That is all true self cares about.  It has much more important things to be doing than caring about a bunch of attachments to physical objects.

 

We Do Not Have to Renounce Possessions

Many spiritual and religious disciplines teach that we should renounce or severely limit our physical possessions.  I do not see it that way.

 

My viewpoint is that we need to renounce our attachments to physical possessions and material things.  There is a big difference between renouncing having the objects and renouncing the attachments to the objects.

 

When we renounce possessing physical objects we do not address the underlying attachments.  We may renounce possessions except for just those few things we perceive that we need to live our life.  Two things happen because of this.

 

First, we may pass up some very important learning opportunities because we have renounced possessions.  If those learning opportunities require us to acquire some possessions then we will not be able to learn those lessons.

 

Second, we can still become very attached to the few objects remaining in our life.  Renouncing possessions has not worked because we still have false self attachments.

 

To me, the better approach is to learn to approach possessions and physical objects as true self.  We renounce our attachments, but recognize the importance that possessions and objects can have on the lessons we choose to learn.

 

Because we are not attached to the objects we do not care as the objects enter and leave our lives.  We are concentrating on our learning and the appropriate objects are always there.  Part of that learning is to know when and how to acquire the appropriate objects.

 

Well, that is all for today.  We will see you again tomorrow when we will start to take a look at some of the facets of false self identity.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com