As always, we will take a moment and thank those around us for their work and assistance. Our first thank you goes out to the imsezha who have provided such wonderful weather for the last two weeks. The weather this month in this area of the northeast US has been close to perfect. (If you want to know who the imsezha are post a comment asking the question.)
Our second thanks goes to our readers. Thank you for taking the time to read this site on a regular basis. Our final thanks goes to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free tools that make this site possible. Thanks!
What is the false self?
For the past few weeks we have taken a very detailed look at the concepts of true self and false self. Today we are going to summarize the major characteristic of the false self and how it functions. Our hope is that the more we recognize false self the more we will recognize the pain that comes from living in the false self identity.
We have learned that false self begins to be created as soon as we are born. It knows it is supposed to be trained by true self. True self is our nonphysical self that is the repository for everything we have ever learned. At the beginning of each lifetime it is supposed to take charge and train false self to be the eyes and ears for true self during the lifetime. True self is supposed to make all the decisions, not false self.
On this planet we do not do this with our infants. The parents do not understand what true self is, so they allow the false self to take charge. False self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge and begins to form its identity based on this fear of being alone and being in charge.
False Self Forms Attachments
False self in an infant is supposed to look to true self for guidance and its identity. Because we do not train our infants to listen to true self our infants begin to take their false self identity from the physical objects around them.
The initial attachments that an infant forms are to their body and to those people around it. Gradually the infant begins to form attachments to their thoughts and ideas.
By the time the child is about seven years old these initial attachments are set strongly enough that they will govern the child’s behavior for the rest of their life – or until they learn to retrain the false self. There are times when true self steps in and says that we can rid ourselves of an attachment or a fear, and we do so. However these times are relatively few and far between.
A Tangled Web of Fears and Attachments
As we have just seen, false self begins to form its identity from the fear that it knows that it is not supposed to be in charge of the lifetime. It has not understood that true self is supposed to make the decisions. It has also not been trained to listen to true self for guidance. It becomes very fearful when it comes to the conclusion that it will have to operate alone for the lifetime.
In order to quell that base fear false self begins to create an identity based on attachments to the things around it. As the child gets older these attachments become the source of the false self identity.
The false self identity is now made of such attachments as its clothing, its automobile, its body, its nationality, its religion, and many more. Because the false self has yet to understand that true self is always available it believes that it is actually all these attachments.
The additional fears come from the perceived questioning or injuring of any of the attachments. False self identifies with its automobile. If someone scratches that automobile, then false self perceives that it has been scratched. False self identifies with its religious beliefs. If someone appears to question those religious beliefs, false self views this as its identity being questioned.
Frequently when the false self identity is injured or questioned false self thinks it has to defend or attack in order to protect that identity. If someone questions its political views, false self thinks it has to lash out at that someone to defend its identity. If false self thinks someone is going to take its possessions, it attacks in order to protect those possessions and therefore its identity.
The Difficulty of Retraining False Self
Ok – so we are starting to see where our unhappiness comes from. Our false self is attached to all kinds of objects, people, and thoughts that it thinks create its identity. We spend most of our lives acting out the fears that false self experiences because it is protecting its false self identity. We know we are unhappy. Why can’t we learn to become happy?
The reason why it takes awhile to learn to be happy is that false self is resisting us at every turn. As we start to listen to and understand our true self we also start to question the false self identity. We start to see the fears and attachments for what they are – our source of unhappiness.
Initially false self does not know whether or not it can trust true self. False self has been running things for many years and has become quite afraid of anyone or anything questioning its fears and attachments. It has spent the entire lifetime defending those fears and attachments. It does not like true self questioning its identity.
We retrain false self by continuously facing its fears and attachments. We learn to listen to true self and the quiet little voice that will not submit to those fears and attachments. That quiet little voice eventually convinces false self that true self understands what is going on and can be trusted.
Although we can have great insights and make large advancements in a single step, the typical path is one of small but frequent steps. We see a small fear and conquer it. We see a small attachment and let it go. We make the small steps as we see them, but do not wait for the big steps. Those will happen, but they will happen in their own time when we least expect them. The gradual daily progress is what will bring us closer to our true happiness.
That is all for today. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Until Monday –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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