In previous posts we have looked at the idea of acceptance. In our search for what acceptance means we have looked at a few things it is not. Acceptance is not agreement, nor is it approval or condoning. Today we look at the idea that acceptance is not resignation.
Acceptance is not passive
Many times people think that I am describing a passive behavior when I talk about learning acceptance. Sometimes they think acceptance is similar to letting things run over us because we have no other choice.
I see acceptance as being a very active behavior. When we are totally accepting of what is going on around us we are in the moment. For me, acceptance and being in the moment are synonymous. You may not be doing anything physically when you are in the moment, but your mind is totally occupied with what is happening to you at that particular moment.
Resignation is passive
I view resignation as a very passive behavior. I “resign” myself to accepting something because I think that I have no other choice. I can’t seem to do anything about the situation so I must resign myself to the situation.
This is not being accepting. Neither is it being in the moment. It is actually fighting the moment.
Consider this. When I am fighting with the situation I am not in the moment. I am resisting the situation. I have an attachment to the way that I would like to see the situation. I am allowing that attachment to fuel my resistance to the situation.
Resistance is always a sign that I am out of the moment – and have an attachment. I fight the situation so long that I eventually seem to give in. I “resign” myself to the situation. I still have not given up my attachment – I have just decided to stop fighting for now.
Resignation just means that I want to maintain both my attachment and my resistance to the current situation. I “resign” myself to the current situation because I am tired of fighting – for now. Because I still have the attachment I will return to the fight as soon as I have rested up a bit and seen a new way to continue the battle.
The next time
Please remember to take a look at this idea the next time you “resign” yourself to a situation. Are you truly giving in and accepting the moment because you have learned to accept the situation? Or are you “resigning” yourself to the situation because you want to continue to hold on to your attachments?
In the long run it does not matter which you do. Either way you will learn how it is best for you to handle the situation.
The sooner we learn true acceptance the sooner we will learn to live without fear and pain.
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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