I Accept It – But I Don’t Like It

October 23, 2008

During the past week I have been involved in several discussions that touched on the idea of acceptance.  We have looked at this idea here before, but today we will continue our investigation of what acceptance means.

 

Accepting does not mean liking

Many times when the idea of acceptance comes up it gets confused with the idea of liking something.  In other words, if you accept something that means you like it.  These two ideas are not linked.  You can accept something but you do not have to like it.

 

I think the best example of this idea comes from Eckhart Tolle.  During the series of videos that he made with Oprah Winfrey he used the example of finding yourself knee deep in mud.

 

That example assumes that all of a sudden we find ourself knee deep in mud.  As we look down at the mud we don’t like the fact that we are stuck in it.  However, we cannot ignore that we are stuck in the mud.

 

If we do not accept that we are stuck in the mud we will not take the appropriate actions to get out of the mud.  It would be nice to fly out of the mud, but chances are that we cannot do that.

 

No, we must accept that we are knee deep in mud and start to take the appropriate actions to get out.  We do not like that we are stuck in the mud, but liking or not liking has no bearing on the situation.  We are stuck in the mud and until we accept the fact that we are stuck we will not make any progress at getting ourselves unstuck.

 

Accepting does not mean agreeing

Agreeing with something is similar to liking.  For example, we may be in a situation at our job where we have to do something with which we do not agree.  Usually it is because we differ with our boss about that situation.

 

Assuming that our boss is not asking us to do something that is illegal, we must accept what the boss wants us to do even though we do not agree with it.

 

An example of this from my personal experience was when my boss wanted me to run a project that would install a new piece of computer equipment.  I disagreed with the way he wanted to run the project.

 

As the project floundered it became clear that this particular piece of equipment was not the correct choice.  On occasion I would make my disagreements known to my boss, but I always accepted that I had to do the best I could with the project until he also realized that we were wasting our effort.

 

In this example I disagreed with what I had to do, but I accepted that I had to do it.  Understanding the difference between these two concepts helped me to maintain control of myself.  I knew that by accepting the situation rather than fighting it I would be in control of myself and see the best answer when it appeared.  My disagreement with my boss was a side issue that I did not waste much time on.

 

Accepting is painful except for the alternative

Many times it can be painful to accept the situation.  However, it can be even more painful when we do not accept the situation.

 

In our example of being knee deep in mud, we might try to run out of the mud.  When we are not accepting of a situation we do things like that.  We try to run out of the mud when we should be walking slowly and carefully.  Running may cause us to fall and twist an ankle.  Or worse.

 

Accepting that we are stuck in the mud may be very embarrassing.  We may not want to admit it to ourself, much less anybody else.  After all, how could such a smart person get themselves into such a predicament?

 

This is what is called denial.  We know that we are stuck in the mud.  We cannot bring ourselves to admit that we are.  We are denying that we are stuck in the mud.

 

This is a silly way to act.  We know that we are stuck in the mud.  Anyone who looks at us can also tell that we are stuck in the mud.  False self is denying that we are stuck.  Remember, false self does not want to look at any possible imperfections that it may have.  Denial always comes from false self.

 

In our post entitled “Judge Not” we took a look at why false self does not like to admit it is in error.  Not wanting to admit error is also denial.  All of these come from false self attachments.  And as we have also discussed, false self attachments are painful.

 

The logical steps

Let’s follow the logic of the ideas we have put forth here today.  When we are not accepting of something we are in denial of it.  When we are in denial we are acting from false self.  All false self behavior is based on attachments.  False self attachments are always painful.

 

Therefore when we are not accepting we are in pain.  Please think about this the next time you encounter a situation that you do not like.  We do not have to like the situation.  We have to learn to accept the situation.  We will be in pain until we learn that acceptance.

 

That is all for today.  Do you have any situations that you have had a problem accepting?  Do you have an example of a situation that you initially resisted and then accepted?  Please post these as comments and share your experience with our readers.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by FeedBurner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Advertisements

More Tips to Stay in the Moment

August 28, 2008

More Tips to Stay in the Moment

 

Yesterday we took a look at a few tips that I have found helpful in keeping me in the moment.  As I said yesterday, I also use these tips to get me back in the moment when I fall off the bicycle and crash.

 

If these are helpful to you, please submit a comment and tell your fellow readers how you use any of the tips.  Your comments will help others who are reading this site.

 

Are you ready for a few more tips?  Let’s go!

 

Catch the fleeting glimpses

Many times we do not even notice when we are in the moment.  Even though we are so accustomed to not being in the moment we still we catch fleeting glimpses of being present.  As the glimpses pass we do not even recognize that we had been in the present for a few seconds or even a few minutes.

 

I know that I keep talking about Eckhart Tolle.  I do so because he has done some outstanding work with his explanations about staying in the moment.  I also attempt to attribute my direct influences when possible.  Surprise, surprise – here is another reference to Eckhart Tolle.

 

I took this idea from Eckhart Tolle during his series of videos with Oprah Winfrey.  When we ask our self such questions as “There has to be a better way?” or “Why can’t I find my happiness?” we are actually being in the moment.  When we ask ourselves those questions – who is doing the asking?

 

What we are describing here is the idea that when we ask those questions there has to be one of us asking the question.  We are asking the question about the other of us.  As I see it we are describing true self asking questions about false self.

 

True self has gotten so tired of putting up with the false self unhappiness that we step in as true self and start to examine what false self is doing.  This process can gradually lead to a beginning of a healthy questioning of false self behavior.

 

The point to remember here is that when we ask those questions it is true self who is doing the asking.  When we ask those questions we are in the moment.

 

Visualize a balcony

One of the images that Havar taught me many years ago was the visualization of a balcony.  See true self on a balcony that is just a little above and behind your head.  Imagine true self standing on that balcony and watching false self go through your day.

 

At first the only thing true self does is stand there and watches.  As true self we watch the thoughts that emanate from false self.  We watch false self as it gets upset at work.  We watch the thoughts that precede that upset.

 

We do not get involved with what is going on with false self until we have become comfortable standing on our balcony and just observing.  As we become familiar with this observation process we start to communicate with false self.  We gradually train the false self using some of the ideas we have mentioned elsewhere in other posts on this site.

 

Don’t watch the time

One of the aspects of being in the moment that we have mentioned is that a lengthy period of time will pass without our noticing.  We get involved with something and all of a sudden we notice that it is hours later.  We were in the moment for that period of time.

 

Let’s flip that around and look at how to train ourselves to not be commanded by time.  As we go through our day we think that we are prisoners of time.  We have to get up at a certain time.  We have to be at work at a certain time.  At work we have to be at a meeting at a certain time.  I am going to describe a way that has worked for me to stay on time but not let time control me.

 

I worked in a job where I had to attend a lot of meetings about a lot of different projects.  As a project manager I ran a lot of those meetings.  It was imperative that I was on time or else the other attendees would think the meeting was not important to me and they would not show up on time.

 

During the course of the day I might have three or four meetings, but the time never controlled me.  Here is how I did it.

 

At the beginning of the day I would determine my level of preparation for each meeting.  I would make any preparations that I could at the beginning of the day for each meeting.

 

I would print out the agenda.  I would check email for any attendees who might have cancelled.  I would finalize and print any handouts that were needed.  I would make sure that I had set an alarm on the computer to notify me ten minutes before each meeting.

 

That notification was the key.  Let’s say it is 8:30 AM and I have finished all my preparations for my meetings.  My first meeting is not until 10:00 AM.  I set my alarm for 9:50.  Now I have from 8:30 AM until 9:50 AM to be in the moment as I do my other work.

 

That work might be writing a report.  It might be printing out some reports that needed to be analyzed.  Sometimes I had to go and talk to someone about a project that they were working on.  I might just go and get a cup of coffee and think for a few minutes.

 

The point being that I was prepared for my next meeting.  I had over an hour to be in the moment while I did my other work.  The alarm would go off at 9:50 and I would stop what I was doing, gather my papers, and head off to the meeting.  At the meeting I would also practice staying in the moment so that I would make the most of that time as well.

 

In this example I am in charge of the time.  Yes, I have to fit into prescribed periods of time that required me to do certain things at certain times.  However, I took control of the time in between and made it MY time by being in the moment.  I used reminders to make sure I got where I needed to go, but I was driving that process as well.

 

I recognize that this example is for a specific circumstance.  Please take a look at the spirit of the example and learn to use it to take control of your life.  If you only have a few hours a day to practice – that is fine.  Take what time you have and use it.  If you only stay in the moment an hour or two a day it will still most likely be more than what you are doing now.

 

That’s all for today.  Come back tomorrow when we will be learning how to treat false self as an “it”.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


Tips to Get Yourself in the Moment

August 27, 2008

Yesterday we illustrated the link between the concepts of true self, false self and being in the moment.  We heard that false self can never be in the moment.  Hopefully we felt and understood that true self is always in the moment.

 

So what did we learn from this?  I hope we learned that our happiness comes from being true self and in the moment at all times.

 

Are you ready for a few tips about how to get yourself in the moment?  Let’s go!

 

Take a chill pill

When we are upset, angry, frustrated, sad, etc., we are not in the moment.  The most important thing that we can do when we notice that we are not in the moment is to calm down.  Chill out.  Relax.

 

Eckhart Tolle has done some excellent work with his explanations of how to calm down and get ourselves in the now.  He recommends that we become silent.  Then we take a few slow breaths.  As we take those breaths, we begin to sense our body.  We continue taking deep breaths, we watch those breaths move in and out of the body, and we gradually calm ourselves down.  As we calm ourselves down we next start to observe our thoughts.

 

Observe yourself

As we calm ourselves we begin to have enough concentration that we can begin to observe our thoughts.  When we are upset, the internal thoughts, the chatter if you will, are so loud and so intense that we are unable to think clearly.  Part of the reason that we calm ourselves down is to begin to watch our thoughts.

 

As we begin to observe our thoughts we are able to watch for the harmful ones.  Acting out our harmful thoughts is a good way to cause ourselves a mess.  When we are upset we bombard ourselves with so many thoughts that we cannot sort through them.  We react to some of them and a few of those thoughts are harmful.  That is how we create our messes.

 

As we learn to observe our thoughts it will take a little time to learn to see the harmful ones.  That is fine.  This is a skill, and like any other skill it requires practice.  The important thing is to start.  Take every opportunity you have to observe your thoughts.  For now, don’t worry about doing anything about them, just learn to watch them.

 

We have looked at the idea of observation many times on this site.  I have found it to be the most fundamental skill required to be in the moment.  Observation must be practiced at all times in order to stay in the moment.

 

Ignore the chatter

A few paragraphs ago we talked about the chatter in our heads.  As we learn to observe our thoughts we begin to hear the chatter.  That chatter is nothing but false self nonsense.  However, we have been listening to and acting out this chatter for our entire life.  We think this chatter is ourself.

 

This chatter is the reason that we learn to calm down.  The chatter gets so loud and our reaction so immediate that we wind up out of control.  We can be out of control angry, violent, depressed, possessive, euphoric, and many more.  The point is that we are no longer observing the chatter.  We have become the chatter.

 

As we calm down and then start to observe, the chatter will return.  As we begin this process of observation we usually don’t even notice that the chatter has returned.  The chatter is so pervasive that we expect it to be there.  It returns and we are off to the races again.  Do not worry or get upset.  Eventually we will notice that we are unhappy.  We will ask ourselves “what happened?”  We will realize that we have to get back in the moment.

 

Do not be afraid to fail

In another post I compared learning this technique to learning to ride a bicycle.  In many ways this is the appropriate analogy.  Each starts with not knowing how, being afraid of the task, failing as we learn, and eventually learning to perform the task.

 

Do not be afraid to fail.  Chances are that you will.  We all start to learn to be in the moment.   We all start to see how much happier we are when we are in the moment.  Then we all make a sharp turn and go off on a tangent and create a new mess.  This is all part of the process.

 

Very few people have ever learned to be in the moment and then never gotten out of the present again.  For most of us it is a skill that we must practice, even when we have made great advancement.

 

I will not claim to always be in the moment.  However, I will claim that I have learned enough about staying in the moment to understand that it is my source of happiness.  I also have learned enough about staying in the moment that I am able to help others learn what I have learned for themselves.

 

One last point about failure – true self is not afraid to fail.  True self knows that it cannot “fail.”  When true self falls short of our objectives it views this as progress.  True self knows that by falling short of the objective we will learn something that we can use to get closer to the objective on the next attempt.  True self views as learning what false self views as failure.

 

Summary

Here is the summary of today’s tips:

 

  1. Take a chill pill – The first step to getting ourselves into the present is to calm down
  2. Observe yourself – Once we have relaxed we can start to observe ourselves, most especially our thoughts
  3. Ignore the chatter – As we start to learn the skill of observation the chatter will return.  We will gradually learn to ignore this chatter.
  4. Do not be afraid to fail – Learning this skill is like learning to ride a bicycle.  We will fail, but we will also learn from those failures.

 

That is all for today.  Tomorrow we will have a few more tips that will help you stay in the moment.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com 


Learning to Be In the Moment

August 26, 2008

In the last few days one of our readers asked me to talk a bit more about being in the moment.  They wanted some suggestions about how to be in the moment.  So here is that explanation.  Let’s go!

 

True self is always in the moment

In the last few weeks we have discussed at length the ideas of true self and false self.  The link to being in the moment is whether or not we are acting from true self or accepting the unhappiness of false self.

 

When we are operating from true self we are in the moment.  You might ask “how will I know when that happens?”  Here are a few ways to recognize that you are in the moment.

 

The most important way to recognize that you are in the moment is that you are absolutely peaceful and calm.  You are so calm that you do not really care what happens.  Deep inside you know that whatever happens is just fine because you know that you can handle it.  You know that the choices you make are the correct choices and that all you need to do is take the appropriate steps and you will accomplish anything you choose to do.

 

Another way to recognize when you are in the moment is that you do not notice the passage of time.  Whatever you are doing, you have become so involved that you do not realize that several hours have passed.

 

I heard a good example of this recently.  Leonard Bernstein, the conductor and composer, was recounting a time when he was conducting a symphonic performance.  He said that he stepped on the podium and began conducting.  The next thing he remembered was the applause at the end of the event.  He had been in the moment so deeply that several hours had passed without him realizing that passage.

 

Have you ever noticed yourself watching your thoughts or actions?  Whether you realized it or not you were being the “observer”.  There are many spiritual and religious practices that discuss the idea of observation as a way to self mastery.

 

For me, observation is the key to really learning how to be in the moment.  We will discuss observation at greater length tomorrow.  For now just note that whenever you step outside of yourself for the shortest instant and see yourself from a different perspective you are in the moment.  When you catch that glimpse congratulate yourself for that achievement and begin to recognize the feeling, and then repeat this as often as possible.

 

False self is never in the moment

By definition, false self can never be in the moment.  That is why it is false self.  False self is the place where we experience all the things that we do not want to be.  Let’s take a look at a few characteristics of false self and why that is not being in the moment.

 

First of all, whenever we are not happy we are not in the moment.  False self has a myriad of excuses that it decides are reasons for not being happy.  It does not have the possessions that it wants so it is unhappy.  It was awakened in the middle of the night so it is upset that it did not get enough sleep.  And here is the big one.  Someone burned its toast this morning so it must be upset all day about that insult.

 

Why are these things not being in the moment?  Let’s take a closer look at a few of these examples.  See if you can spot the pattern.

 

When false self does not think that it has the possessions that it should have it is actually envisioning another time.  In that envisioned time period false self has the big house, the expensive car, the beautiful clothes that it thinks it should have now.  False self does not have those possessions at this moment and it senses a disconnect.  It also senses the possibility that it might never get those possessions.  False self becomes unhappy until it either finds something new about which to feel unhappy or we get back in the moment.

 

If false self is awakened and is upset because it did not get enough sleep it is actually envisioning a time when it should get the sleep it “needs.”  It is convinced that it needs eight hours of undisturbed sleep.  When it is disturbed it compares this vision of the current situation with the idealized time.  It wants to be in the idealized time and gets upset because the current time does not match it.

 

Once again false self decides that it needs to be upset.  That upset can last for a few minutes, hours, or days.  The upset will last until it finds something it views as more important to get upset with or true self takes over and we get back in the moment.

 

Finally, let’s look at what happens when someone burns the toast that false self had planned to eat for breakfast.  This egregious affront to false self causes it to think back on all the previous meals it enjoyed when the toast was prepared properly.  Once again, the envisioned time frame does not match the current experience.

 

For the rest of the day false self takes this perceived injury out on everyone it meets.  It yells at its fellow commuters.  It is sullen with its co-workers.  When it gets home it yells at the children.  It was unhappy all day because of some burned toast.

 

Did you see the pattern here?  It was the false self putting itself in another time period and comparing it to the current experience.  That is the definition of not being in the moment.  The idealized time period will never match the current experience, yet false self never ceases attempting to make it match.

 

When our concentration is not on the current experience, by definition we are not in the moment.  True self concentrates completely on the current experience and endeavors to understand that situation.  True self does not care about a future or past time period.  True self knows that when we concentrate completely on what is going on NOW everything else will take care of itself.

 

Eckhart Tolle has done some excellent work with teaching people to be in the moment.  That work might help you as it has helped me.  Please check our resource page for more information.

 

That is all for today.  Tomorrow we will look at a few tips for learning to be in the moment.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


Understanding False Self – Attachments to People

August 11, 2008

Welcome Back

I hope everyone had a great weekend.  Here in my part of the northeastern US we had a gorgeous day on Saturday followed by a cool and rainy Sunday.  All in all the weather was pretty good for most of the weekend.  Thanks for coming back for today’s installment.

 

Note to Email Subscribers

It looks like our email subscription service is still resolving some issues.  I did not receive my daily updates last Thursday or Friday.  Because today’s content relies on those posts please read them before you read today’s post.  Here are the links to Thursday’s post and Friday’s post.

 

We would like to track the quality of our email subscription service.  Please help us by either sending an email or posting a comment stating if the service is fulfilling your expectations.

 

Now for today’s post.  Are you ready to learn more about attachments to people?  Let’s go!

 

False Self Needs to Know Its Place

One of the valuable lessons I took from Eckhart Tolle recently was his comment that false self (or ego) is always trying to place itself above or below those around it.  This is a very powerful insight and can help us to understand when to recognize that we are acting from false self.

 

As we have stated a number of times during the past week, false self knows that it is not supposed to be alone.  When it is not trained properly it becomes very afraid.  One of the places that those fears manifest themselves is in how it relates to other people.

 

False self has a very hard time treating anyone as an equal.  Because of its fear it decides if it should be above or below someone else.  Lets’ take a closer look at this.

 

Putting Itself Below

If we meet someone that false self feels is powerful, or perceives as someone who could help us, false self usually puts that person in a superior position.  False self looks up to that person and tries not to upset that person.  It perceives that if it gets that other person mad then that person won’t like false self anymore and will not be able to help with whatever false self thinks it needs help with.

 

In other words, if false self views that it needs another person it usually puts itself below that person.  This is not always the case, nor is it the only reason why false self behaves like this, but for our purposes it will serve for our discussion.

 

Another reason that false self may put itself below another person is because it wants something directly from that person.  What it wants will differ widely from love, to money, to a job and anything else you can think of.  However the base of this choice of false self position is rooted in false self ingratiating itself with the person it has chosen to be below.

 

False self wants something from this other individual.  It thinks that if it gets the other person mad at them then they won’t give false self what it wants.  How often have we all behaved like this?

 

Putting Itself Above

When false self sees no need to respect another person it usually puts itself in a superior position.  There can be several different fears being acted upon here, so we will take a look at a few of them.

 

First, false self is very threatened by the idea of someone who is “different” from it.  It views those differences as a threat to its attachment to its ideas or its self image.  Some of the common differences that threaten false self are religion, gender, nationality, and sexual preference.

 

Next, rather than attempt to deal with these differences and treat the other individual as an equal, false self decides that they have no worth.  Finally, once false self views the person who is “different” as having no worth then it no longer needs to think about them.  It has put itself above the “different” individual and given that “different” individual no standing.

 

The Attachment Is to the Position

Once false self has decided that it is above or below someone it gets attached to that position.  Remember, false self is very scared.  False self finds change to be very scary.  False self tries to keep relationships from changing by becoming attached to either its superior or inferior position.

 

Now, in all this, false self has never consulted the other person to find out if they want to be in the inferior or superior position that our false self has so graciously bestowed on them.  Watch how this can easily lead to conflict.

 

My false self has decided for whatever it considers are reasons that you are inferior to it.  Then you decide to at least be equal.  My false self views this as a threat to its attached idea of where you should be.  Instead of blaming itself for its attachment my false self decides to blame you for deciding to change your part of the relationship.  Doesn’t this sound like a common cause for conflict and violence in our society?

 

There Are Many More Reasons

By no means do I intend to cover all the possible relationships and all the possible reasons that false self needs to place itself above or below another person.  All that I am attempting to do here is to help you to start to understand another example of false self behavior.

 

Remember, any time we want to find our true happiness we must start with observing our behavior.  We observe the behavior that we do not like because it is causing us to be unhappy.  These examples are for that purpose.

 

As you go through your day practice watching if you are considering yourself above or below those around you.  Once you start to see that you are behaving in this manner notice the situation in which you are doing so.  Then ask yourself why you are doing so.

 

Practicing this observation and question method will serve two main purposes.  First it will help you to know when you are not treating other people as equals.  Next it will start to improve all you relationships.

 

Once you start to recognize people as equals and treat them with the respect of an equal, they will be much more likely to respond to you in the same manner.  Gradually this will improve almost every one of your interpersonal relationships.

 

That’s all for today.  Tomorrow we will look at how true self relates to the people around us.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

 

 

noahnow@yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Recognizing Our True Self – Releasing Attachments

August 8, 2008

Housekeeping

We start today with a bit of housekeeping.  For our readers who subscribe by email – you may not have received yesterday’s post.  Our subscription service has been doing some maintenance and the post might have slipped through the cracks.  If you missed yesterday’s post please click here.  Today’s post is based on what was said yesterday.

 

Thankful Friday

Our custom is to take a minute each Friday to thank those around us.  Today we would like to thank Oprah Winfrey for the work she is doing.  Her extended webcast discussion with Eckhart Tolle about his book “A New Earth” has been helpful to many individuals.  You can also obtain podcast versions of this webcast series and many of her XM Radio broadcasts on ITunes.  We have no financial or other relationship with Oprah Winfrey or Eckhart Tolle.  We only want to thank them for their work.

 

Next we would like to thank our readers who take the time from their busy days to read these posts.  We hope what we are saying is helping you to live a happier life.  Please let us know what else we can do to help you achieve your goal of that happier life.

 

Finally we would like to thank WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free services that make this site possible.  Thanks!

 

Recap

Yesterday we looked at the false self and its attachments.  We talked about a few common attachments and got a feeling for how unhappy we become when we live a life controlled by those attachments.

 

We ended the post by recognizing that we have all asked ourselves at one time or another “Isn’t there a better way?”  The idea I was attempting to raise was that we have all looked at out lives and recognized our unhappiness.  We have all said there must be a way to be more happy.

 

There is.  Let’s go find it!

 

True Self Sees Through the Attachments

One of the points that I am attempting to convey on this site is that we have never been totally disconnected from our true self.  It has always been there giving us guidance.  We have not listened to it for a variety of reasons, but it has always been there.

 

One of the best ways to recognize that the true self has been attempting to guide our life is when we step back and ask the question “Isn’t there a better way?”  Remember, true self is the observer.  When we ask this kind of a question we are asking it from the perspective of true self.  True self is observing our life and our attachments and is attempting to tell false self that there is a better way.  The problem comes with the answers to the question.

 

A Tangle of Interlocking Attachments

When we ask a question like “Isn’t there a better way?” we always get an answer.  That answer may be drowned out by the false self chatter, it may be an answer that we do not like, and it may be an answer that we cannot yet understand.  However, we always get an answer.

 

Let’s take a look at an example of a question that most of us have asked at one time or another about a relationship which we were in when we asked the question.  The relationship has become unhappy and we ask “Isn’t there a better way?”  The question we actually asked was probably a bit different, but the spirit was the same.  We wanted to find a way back to happiness.

 

Let’s take an answer to that question and look at some of the possible interlocking attachments that might have kept us from either accepting the answer or doing anything about making a choice for happiness.

 

So we ask our question and we get the answer that we need to end our relationship with this person and move on with our life.  True self has recognized that this relationship will not bring us happiness.  Now false self has to sort through its attachments to determine if it wants to end the relationship.  That sounds silly, but that is what happens.

 

A few common attachments that false self may have are things like “What will people think?”, “Where will I find someone else?”, “This person provides my security, how will I replace that?”  Does anyone see a pattern in these questions?  Raise your hand if you do.

 

That is correct.  All these questions have to do with some external situation.  Caring about what other people will think has become more important than finding our happiness.  Finding someone else implies that we are unable to exist without a close personal relationship.  For us to be “whole” we need someone else.  Clinging to someone because they provide security is saying that we do not have the power or ability to provide our own security.

 

Each of these attachments is looking to some external situation for something which can only be found inside.  True self provides our security.  True self does not need anyone else to be whole; it is already whole, thank you very much.  True self does not care what people think.

 

True self knows that other true selves will be supportive of its actions.  Someone else’s false self may castigate us for breaking up a relationship, but their true self will recognize that we are choosing for our happiness.  Who do we want to listen to, their supportive true self or their judgmental false self?

 

Learning to See the Attachments

In this example I am not trying to say that real life is not more complicated than the few attachments we have looked at.  However, this is entirely representative of actual situations.  In fact here are many more attachments that we deal with when we have to break up a relationship.  If there were only these three then breaking up would be easy to do.

 

The point here is that we need to start to see the attachments.  Not just when we ask true self for guidance regarding a relationship, but any time we recognize that we are unhappy.  Remember, as soon as we see that we are unhappy we have begun observing from true self.  The answers will be associated with pursuing our happiness and releasing attachments.  Please learn to at least hear the answers, even if you cannot yet do anything with the answers by releasing the attachments.  Eventually you will be able to utilize them, so for now at least listen to them.

 

Once again, this is a skill that will take a bit of time to master.  It starts with recognizing this pattern:

 

  1. Without recognizing it we get caught in an attachment.
  2. We become unhappy.
  3. We recognize that we are unhappy.
  4. We realize that when we recognize that we are unhappy we have become the observer.  Once we have become the observer our perspective is that of true self.
  5. True self will always have answers that will resolve our unhappiness.  We need to listen to those answers because they will tell us to release some of our attachments.
  6. If we cannot yet do anything with those answers, we need to at least acknowledge that they exist.
  7. Practice, practice, practice.

 

That is all for today, and this week.  Please learn to recognize that voice of true self that is telling you to let go of your attachments.  I want you to find your happiness sooner than I found mine.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Until next week –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


How do We Prepare for Rebalancing? pt 1

July 3, 2008


Recap

This week we have heard about how other planets prepare for rebalancing.  We discussed how evolved planets plan for and adjust to rebalancing.  We touched on how evolving planets are assisted during rebalancing.

 

Our next two posts will explain how we can learn to adjust to the planetary rebalancing that will be taking place here.

 

What Do We Do?

As we have seen in our last few posts there are many moving pieces involved in a planetary rebalancing.  We have looked at scenarios where the population of the planet is very small compared to ours, the people are aware of the rebalancing, and they willingly work with the situations as they occur.  That seems like a pretty tall order for this planet to achieve at this time.  What is the best way for Crystal, Indigo, and Star Children to start preparing for the rebalancing?

 

As we have worked with our own personal advancement during the past thirty years we have struggled to find the best way to explain what is going on.  We have also searched for the best medium.  This may not be the best way to explain things, and it may not be the best medium, but now it is more important to get started than continue to “try” to find the best time and place.

 

Stay in the Moment

It may seem trite.  It may sound simplistic.  You may see more important things that need to be done.  You may feel that there must be better ways to do this job.  However, we have yet to find a better first step.

 

An earlier blog post talked about staying in the moment.  We still cannot stress strongly or frequently enough the importance of staying in the moment.  This is still the most important thing that we can do to cope with the coming disruptions.

 

As inhabitants of this planet our primary objective needs to be to stay in the now.  Being present, stay in the moment, be here now; however you phrase the concept it is the same thing.  This idea has been the primary focus of many spiritual and religious disciplines for many centuries.

 

When we are in the moment our fears have no sway over us.  That will be an important asset as the major disruptions become frequent.  Also, when we are in the moment our actions are no longer fear based.  By acting out of confidence rather than fear we will be effective, not counterproductive.

 

When we are in the moment we will see the rebalancing for what it is – a part of a natural cycle that this planet needs to complete.  When we are not in the moment we will feel the need to fight the rebalancing.  The natural forces that will sweep across this planet will be far greater than we can imagine.  If we are not in the moment we will become fearful and lose control of ourselves.  Then we will not be able to help anyone, especially ourselves.

 

Once again – stay in the moment.  If you do nothing more in preparation for the rebalancing than learn to stay in the moment then you will be far more prepared than almost everyone else on the planet.

 

As mentioned elsewhere on this blog, the best instruction on how to stay in the moment that we have recently seen has come from Eckhart Tolle.  His book “A New Earth” has helped many people.  Oprah Winfrey did a series of 10 videos that were 90 minutes in length.  You can find these videos at Oprah’s Book Club.  You will need to register with the site to view the videos.  These are excellent learning tools because they involve viewers calling in and discussing questions at length with Oprah and Eckhart.  We highly recommend this series of videos as the best way to learn to stay in the moment that we have seen in a long time.

 

We are not affiliated at this time with either Eckhart Tolle or Oprah Winfrey.  We receive no incentive whatsoever from recommending their books and videos.  We sincerely think the concepts they convey are important for everyone on this planet to be learning at this time.

 

Tomorrow

As is becoming our Friday custom, tomorrow we will take a moment to thank those around us.  It is so easy to get caught up in the perceived importance of everything that we do not take the time to express our thanks.  We will attempt to remember to do that each Friday and whenever else we find it appropriate.

 

We will also write a few paragraphs about the Independence Day celebration in the United States.  Those on whose shoulders we are standing were adamant about freedom and have inspired countless individuals on this planet in the last 230 years.

 

Finally, we will get back to the main purpose of the blog.  We will see how the concept of acceptance is crucial to dealing with disruptions that are coming our way.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us.

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  This blog does not have access to that list nor do we know who is on the list.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email: noahnow@yahoo.com