Ideologies Are a Dead End

October 27, 2008

Today we will look at ideologies.  Ideologies come from the desire of false self for life to be simple.  Let’s explore the connection between ideologies and false self.

 

Welcome back

I hope that everyone had a great weekend.  On Saturday I spent the morning and early afternoon in Philadelphia.  I ducked the imminent rain storm while I purchased supplies from a few specialty food stores.  I got back home just as the heavy winds and rains descended on us for a few hours.

 

Sunday turned out to be a very nice day.  I managed to get out for awhile.  Unfortunately I had to spend too much time on the cleaning and laundry routine.  Drop us a line and tell us about your weekend.

 

What is an ideology?

We will start today’s post by looking at the definition of an ideology.  According to Wikipedia an ideology is a structured set of beliefs, aims, or ideas.  This article suggests that ideologies are commonly political, but they can be found in philosophies and spiritual beliefs.

 

Why is false self attracted to ideologies?

Why is false self attracted to ideologies?  In our post on August 14 we wrote about how false self wants life to be fair.  In that post we looked at how false self wants to find a formula to simplify its life.  It wants to think that if it does “this” other people will do “that”.

 

By stringing together a group of “this” and “that” behaviors false self hopes to find a simple and “fair” way to live.  False self does not want to have to think about things any more than it has to.

 

No thinking required

When we imagine an ideology as a set of ideas that false self can use to think about a subject we can see the attraction.  A lot of other people have developed the ideology so false self only has to agree with it.  No thinking is required. 

 

When false self is asked about politics it trots out it’s ideology for politics.  When it is asked about religion false self invokes it’s ideology for religion.  When asked about philosophy or economics false self is prepared with an ideology for those as well.

 

False self looks at the fact that a lot of smart people created these ideologies.  False self does not have the confidence in itself to create a valid opinion based on understanding of the situation.  It leaves all this to the experts who created the ideologies.  After all, false self could never be as smart as those people.  They must be right, so all false self has to do is agree with the experts.

 

Oh, the pain

Everything is fine until the ideology is questioned.  After all if we do not have to think about it, how can it cause us any pain?  Eventually though, the ideology is questioned.  That is when the rubber meets the road.

 

When the ideology is questioned we have two choices.  The first is to accept the question and attempt to objectively compare the question to our ideology.  If we are open minded we will either accept the new perspective or reject it.  We won’t fight the question because we recognize that all of our thoughts must always be open to re-evaluation.

 

The other option is to fight the question.  We have written extensively about how false self attacks any idea that might question it.  When false self defends it’s ideologies it is doing so because it feels threatened.  Also, when false self defends it’s ideologies it is in great pain.

 

To see this pain we do not have to look far.  Right now many people’s ideologies are being attacked.  At least their false self thinks so.  Look in the political arena.  There has been a political ideology that has been controlling much of the US for many years.  Now it is seriously being questioned.  This is causing many people who have espoused this ideology for many years to feel attacked, and therefore in pain.

 

The same thing is happening with an economic ideology.  The deregulated free market ideology is being challenged.  This is causing great pain for many of those who had believed in this ideology.

 

What is the pain?

Hopefully some of our long time readers will see the connection between false self and pain.  As we wrote many months ago, attachments are painful.  Pain is always a sign of false self attachment.  Attachments always cause pain.

 

By this logic, the pain is not actually from the ideology.  That pain is from the false self attachment to the ideology.

 

In its effort to simplify its life false self has attached itself to ideologies that substitute for original thought.  Everything is fine and dandy until that ideology is questioned.  When the ideology is questioned then false self thinks that it is being challenged.  Now the pain begins.

 

It can be very hard to let go of our ideologies.  Frequently the ones associated with religion are the hardest to get past.  Somehow we must come to the understanding that our Creator wants us to be happy and our true self.  When we are attached to ideas about Him then we will be in pain.

 

I think that He wants us to be happy and does not really care if we have differing understandings of who and what He is.  He would rather us be happy.  He does not want us to be in pain because someone is challenging our false self belief in Him.

 

Rephrase the title

At this point we should probably rephrase the title of today’s post.  We should add the idea of attachment to the title.  The new title should be “Attachments to Ideologies are a Dead End.”  When we get rid of the attachments and view ideologies objectively and there is no pain.

 

That is all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

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© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

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Judgments Are Attachments

October 1, 2008

Today, at my Tuesday morning discussion group one of the participants made the statement “judgments are attachments.”  I had not heard it put this way before, but it made sense to me.  Here is how I see that judgments and attachments are related.

 

Quick review

We have talked many times on this site about false self attachments.  We have even talked about judgments.  Let’s do a quick review.

 

The false self identity is based in fear.  False self knows that it is not supposed to be making the decisions and becomes quite fearful.  False self then creates attachments to mask those fears.  Those attachments can be to anything imaginable.  The most common attachments are to false self’s own thoughts, the people around false self, and false self’s possessions.

 

False self fiercely defends its attachments.  Because it views the attachments as part of itself, false self attacks any threat to it’s attachments as if it were an attack on itself.

 

On September 4 we looked at the concept of judgment.  A review of that post would be helpful to understand today’s post.  We will use similar concepts today but will make a different explanation.

 

What is judgment?

As we illustrated on September 4, judgment is a false self defense mechanism.  If false self can attack someone for being different from it then it does not have to look at itself.  False self says that the other person/idea/situation is different than what it is.  Therefore we must by right and they must be wrong.

 

Judgment means that false self does not have to look at the fact that it might be wrong.  False self does not want to look to see if it is wrong.  It is afraid that if it is wrong then there is something wrong with it.  False self does not want to look at anything that might suggest that it is anything less than perfect.

 

By using judgment as the pre-emptive attack on an objective look at itself false self becomes extremely annoying.  Have you ever noticed this about judgmental people?  They were extremely annoying.  Yet you probably did not understand why.

 

Here is the reason.  A judgmental person is actually going around and telling everyone “I am right and you are wrong.”  This behavior irritates everyone who comes in contact with this judgmental person.  By everyone I mean everyone – whether they are coming from their false self or their true self.

 

The annoying judgmental person

When a judgmental person and their “I am right” behavior comes into contact with another false self the other false self usually reacts.  The other false self says to the judgmental person “You are attacking me because you are saying I am wrong.”

 

This false self must now defend itself.  What do you think it says to the judgmental person?  It says “No – I am right and you are wrong.”  I can see how this could develop into a very stimulating and interesting conversation.

 

The judgmental person also irritates someone who is coming from their true self.  True self does not get mad, but it gets frustrated.  True self realizes that as long as a false self is saying “I am right and you are wrong” it will not listen to the person who is coming from their true self.

 

The judgmental person has already decided what was right and what was wrong.  They are not interested in the facts that might show false self to be wrong.  Someone coming from their true self is sad and frustrated with this type of situation.  They know that the judgmental person is hurting themselves by not being open minded and attempting to understand the true situation.

 

True self is sad about the hurt the judgmental person is inflicting on themselves.  True self is also frustrated that they cannot get through to the other person to help them see that they are hurting themselves.  True self sits back and watches the situation.  Should an opening come true self will try again to help the other person to see for themself that they are indeed hurting themselves.

 

Summary

In summary, judgments grow out of our attachments.  They become a protective mechanism to reinforce false self behavior.  They keep false self from having to look at its shortcomings.

 

Judgmental people are very annoying because they are saying that they are right and that everyone else is wrong.  By recognizing when we are being judgmental we can become much more pleasant to be around.  We can also use our judgments to start to look at the attachments that caused the judgments.

 

That is all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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On the Other Hand

September 11, 2008

Last week I participated in a discussion where one of the participants was struggling to accept the spiritual awakening they were experiencing.  Today we will look at some ideas that can help us to balance our spiritual awakening with our existing beliefs and behaviors.

 

Email distribution

For some unexplained reason the email distribution for Tuesday did not go out on schedule.  The post was uploaded in time and the RSS feed even updated correctly.  The post for Tuesday was picked up and included in the email distro for Wednesday, so that became a two for one.

 

As I have said many times before, FeedBurner is a free service.  Most of the time they do a great job.  They have an occasional hiccup, but since none of us are paying anything we must accept the occasional outage.

 

Any of our new readers who would like to receive this post as a daily email should click here:  SUBSCRIBE  FeedBurner will make you fill out the standard screening form and send you a confirmation email.  Please be sure to follow the directions in the confirmation email to receive your daily update.

 

On the one hand

I was a part of a discussion last week where someone was struggling with some new understandings.  They were saying that they heard a lot of truth in what was being discussed and they were being drawn to that truth.

 

However, this individual was being torn by their current beliefs and behaviors.  Most of us experience the same conflict as we begin to travel our spiritual path.  We have an existing way of living that we think we know.  For some reason we have become unhappy with that life and are searching for something else.  When we find something that resonates with us we can get torn between the two.

 

Today we will look at an example of how to begin the resolution of this internal conflict.  An approach that I have used is to start by placing both hands in front of you.  Imagine one hand – let’s say the right hand – as holding the new understandings.  Imagine the left hand as grasping your current understandings and behaviors.

 

Let’s take a look at the left hand first.  In that hand you have your current understandings of spirituality, religion, your relationships, your family, and your possessions.  Whether you realize it or not, your unhappiness is also in your left hand. 

 

At one time we all thought that everything we ever need would be in this hand.  After all, what more do we need?  We are trained from birth that we do not need anything more than family, religion, possessions, and relationships.

 

Let’s look at the last item in our left hand – our unhappiness.  If everything we needed was in our left hand then unhappiness would not be there.  But because that unhappiness is there we have decided to look outside of that hand.

 

On the other hand

The reason that there is something in our right hand is because of the unhappiness we found in our left hand.  Somewhere we sensed that the unhappiness was strong enough to cause us to look for something else.  That something else became our newly found spiritual path.

 

We have begun to travel that path and have discovered a lot of things that will not fit in our left hand.  We put those discoveries in our right hand and start to ask ourselves what to do with them.  Many of these new understandings are clearly in conflict with what is in our left hand.

 

The problem is that these new understandings resonate very strongly with us.  That resonance is so strong that we know that we cannot drop these new understandings from our right hand.  Now we are being pulled very strongly by the attraction to our right hand.  Yet we are attached to the familiar and comfortable things in our left hand.  No wonder we feel torn between the two.

 

What to do, what to do

The resolution of this feeling of being torn can be a challenge.  There can be many steps, but we will start with the first step.  I am sure that this topic will come up again in future posts.  Anyone who wants to discuss this topic further can make a comment on this post and we can begin the discussion immediately.

 

Here is how I solved the internal conflict between my left and right hands.  It took awhile, but I eventually I came out the other side much more peaceful and happy.

 

My first step was to acknowledge and accept the situation.  In my left hand I had a bunch of stuff that was familiar, but that was causing unhappiness.  In my right hand I had other stuff that was pulling me very strongly.  The stuff in my right hand seemed so truthful, yet I could not let go of what was in my left.

 

Eventually I accepted that my unhappiness was in my left hand along with all the other stuff.  I realized that it was that stuff that was causing the unhappiness.  This did not mean that I could let go of it easily.  It was just a realization, but no action had been taken.

 

Likewise I realized that the stuff in my right was leading me towards my true happiness.  Even though I could not yet let go of the stuff in the left hand, I could try to utilize some of the things in my right hand.

 

At first it was simple things.  Like beginning to see that happiness comes from inside, not outside.  Then I learned more about the true self and the false self.  I looked at what spirituality really is and I even started to understand that fear is a behavior that we learn.

 

Don’t get me wrong.  All these investigations did not happen immediately.  I was very attached to my existing beliefs and behaviors in my left hand.  I would merely dabble my right hand in the water of my new understanding to see what it was like.

 

Gradually I began to see that the only thing in my right hand was my true happiness.  Every time I went back to my left hand the only thing I found was my unhappiness.

 

It took many years of dabbling to convince me to let go of what was in my left hand.  After that it took more years of changing my behavior so that I was no longer holding onto what was in my left hand.

 

Eventually my right hand won and I am much more able to notice when my left hand is holding on.  I am also much happier.

 

Trust yourself

To summarize how to resolve the internal conflict that usually comes when we start on our spiritual path – trust yourself.  Your true self is in your right hand.  Your false self is in your left hand.  Trust that your right hand will guide you towards your true happiness.  After all, your left hand has never given you any happiness.  Why would it start to do so now?

 

That’s all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

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This email list is maintained by FeedBurner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Judge Not

September 4, 2008

Housekeeping

Here is an update on the FeedBurner distribution issues we encountered last month.  Other than the fact that for some unexplained reason the email distribution for Tuesday, September 2nd did not go out, this distribution seems to be working well.  The formatting seems to vary for each mail client reader.  I have set the formatting to work with maximum compatibility for most email clients, but your email client may not be as compatible as some others.

 

The RSS feed did not update for almost a week.  It updated over the weekend and seems to be current.  Once again, this is a free service and I really have no control over these issues.  Thank you for your patience while FeedBurner works on these issues.

 

Judge not lest ye be judged

This is another of those principles that are found in most spiritual and religious practices.  Today we will look at this idea through what we have learned about the concepts of false self and true self.

 

False self likes to judge

We will start by reviewing the idea originally posted on August 7th that false self has many attachments.  We looked at several different attachments in that post.  Today we are going to concentrate on how false self attachment to ideas leads to judgmental behavior.

 

First, a quick summary of how false self attaches to ideas.  As we have mentioned numerous times on this site, false self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge of the decision making for our life.  We do not train false self to listen to the true source of decision making.  All of the important decisions about our life should come from true self.

 

False self knows this and becomes fearful.  It looks for things external to it to cling to for reassurance.  It attaches to many things, its body, its possessions, and other people.  It also attaches to many ideas.

 

When it attaches to ideas it ceases to view those ideas objectively.  In attaching to ideas, false self has begun to view those ideas as a part of itself.  Now that it has come to view those ideas as part of itself any questioning or attack on those ideas is viewed as an attack on false self.  That is why when false self attaches to an idea it ceases to be objective – because it can no longer rationally discuss the idea.

 

Now let’s see how this turns into judgment.  I know it is not polite to talk about religion and politics.  That is because so many of us have such strong attachments to our religious and political ideas that we cannot discuss them objectively.  I am still going to use them as examples of how we start to judge.

 

I think we can all easily agree that many people get attached to their religious or political ideas.  When those ideas are questioned many people get defensive because false self thinks that it is being attacked.  Over time false self comes up with a method of attacking before the ideas, and therefore itself, are attacked.  That method is called judgment.  For the most part judgment is synonymous with prejudice.  Etymologists will note that they share the same root word.

 

Rubbing mud

Here is how false self uses judgment to perform pre-emptive attacks as a method of defending itself.  Let’s say that false self is a member of a religion that believes that rubbing blue mud on their bellies will help them achieve eternal salvation.

 

All of false self’s family members have adhered to the Belly Rubbing religion for as long as anyone can remember.  And, as far as anyone can tell all of these people have achieved eternal salvation because they rubbed mud on their bellies.

 

On the other side of the village there are a few people who rub green mud on each other’s backs.  They know that this will help them achieve eternal salvation.  They have always done this and as far as anyone knows, their ancestors have achieved eternal salvation.

 

The Belly Rubbers and the Back Rubbers are in constant conflict.  Each views that the other is wrong because they rub their mud on a different part of the body.  The fact that someone else rubs their mud differently is great cause for false self doubt.

 

Rather than face this doubt, false self takes the easy way out.  False self decides to make the judgment that no matter what other redeeming traits some one else may have, if they rub their mud differently false must dislike them.  The way one rubs their mud has become so important to false self identity that false self must be prejudiced against any one who does not rub the same way as false self.

 

I know this seems like an extreme example, but this is the way many of us approach our ideas.  If you substitute almost any idea from race, to religion, politics, economics, sexual preference, etc. you will see how many different prejudices are active in the world.  It all comes from false self being attached to ideas and thoughts.

 

True self is objective

True self does not have time for attachments to ideas.  True self will not become caught in prejudices.  True self does not lose objectivity when examining ideas.

 

True self knows that the reason that we exist is to learn and grow and to share that learning and growth with each other.  True self knows that when we lose objectivity we interfere with our ability to learn.  True self knows that any prejudice or judgmental behavior keeps us from looking at ideas that are limiting our growth.  True self knows that to grow in all areas we must be able to objectively consider every idea to see if that idea is limiting us.

 

True self knows that when we judge or are prejudiced we hurt another individual because we do show them respect.  True self also knows that at the same time we hurt ourselves even more because we interfere with our learning and growth, and therefore our true happiness.

 

That’s all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Examining a Grudge

August 25, 2008

Welcome Back

Welcome back!  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  The weather in this part of the northeastern US remained great.  I wish the best to all those who have experienced hardships from Tropical Storm Fay.  I hope to take a little time later this week to explain a perspective of what was going on there.  That storm appeared to be an indication that the planetary rebalancing is getting closer.

 

Also this week we will take a closer look at how we can learn to stay in the moment.  I received an inquiry from a reader who asked if we could go into further depth about how to stay in the moment.  We will take a bit of time this week to do just that.

 

Today we will take a look at an example of how the false self holds a grudge.  The lesson to take from this is how unhappy this can make us for many years.

 

Are you ready to look at how silly a grudge can be?  Let’s go!

 

An Old Grudge

Many people know that I am a cineaste, a person who is a fan of movies.  My preference is classic movies from all over the world.  Pursuing this interest allows me to watch the false self in action from many perspectives.  Sometimes it is the way the plot is written and the characters act out their parts.  When researching the history of the movies one encounters many stories where actors lived their real lives deeply enmeshed in their false self illusions and fears.

 

This weekend I was watching an interview with a very famous director.  The interview was recorded several years ago when the director was over eighty years old.  The director has since passed.

 

During the interview the discussion turned to an incident many years ago when the director had punched a critic.  When asked about the incident the director readily admitted to having attacked the critic.

 

Evidently the reason the director physically attacked the critic was that the critic had written reviews of the director’s work that the director did not like.  The director said that he thought that by punching the critic he would intimidate the critic so that the critic would no longer write about him.

 

The part of the interview that I found extremely sad was that the director said “I hated that man then, and I hate him now.  Even though he is now dead I will always hate him.”

 

Carrying Great Pain

What I found so sad about this interview was that this world acclaimed man had chosen to bring himself so much pain.  This deep seated hate of the critic had caused him to act in a very painful manner and attack the man.  Then he chose to cause continuing pain by nurturing a deep and hateful grudge for the critic.

 

How many of us carry similar pain?  False self decided that some incident in the past was so hurtful that we were going to punish the one(s) who caused the hurt by hating them for the rest of our lives.

 

I have an acquaintance that has carried the same type of hurt for over thirty five years.  He was in combat in the Viet Nam war and has yet to release his hate of the ones he fought.  Just like the director, the object of his hate is dead, yet he continues to hurt himself by continuing to hate.

 

Why Does False Self Hate?

There are many reasons that false self hates, but they all come down to either perceiving that it has been hurt or anticipating that it might be hurt.  In the case of our director, his false self perceived that it had been hurt.  Let’s step through this based on what we have learned in the last few weeks.

 

This all starts with the director’s false self identification with his work.  As we have seen, this identification causes false self to think that the film is part of itself.  Now that the film is part of itself any remark (true or not) that false self chooses not to like will be viewed as an attack on false self.  An attack on the film is the same as an attack on false self.

 

In order to “defend” itself false self determined that the best course of action would be to attack the critic.  The stated reason was to keep the critic from writing about the director’s work.  This means that the false self attacked the critic so that the critic would not continue to hurt the false self by writing about the director’s work.  In other words, the critic could not hurt the false self if he no longer wrote about the director.

 

In this case the director first perceived an attack on false self through the unflattering writings of the critic.  Hurt number one for the false self.  The false self attacked the critic to keep him from hurting false self again.  Hurt number two for the false self.  This attack hurt false self much more than it hurt the critic.

 

In order to “prove” that false self was “right” when it attacked the critic the false self then chose to hate the critic.  The false self “logic” here was that if we could always view the critic with hate then we would not have to look at the possibility that we might have been wrong to attack the critic.

 

This became hurt number three for the false self. And it became the hurt that it nurtured for the rest of its life.  It is so sad to see people hurt themselves in this manner.  When we really understand how the false self is controlling our lives through fears and illusions we wonder why people choose to hurt themselves so deeply.  At least I wonder about that.

 

That’s all for today.  I am very interested in hearing your insights regarding the example we looked at today.  A discussion about this type of situation is always thought provoking for everyone involved.  Please share your thoughts with our other readers.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


Summarizing the False Self

August 22, 2008

Thankful Friday

As always, we will take a moment and thank those around us for their work and assistance.  Our first thank you goes out to the imsezha who have provided such wonderful weather for the last two weeks.  The weather this month in this area of the northeast US has been close to perfect.  (If you want to know who the imsezha are post a comment asking the question.)

 

Our second thanks goes to our readers.  Thank you for taking the time to read this site on a regular basis.  Our final thanks goes to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free tools that make this site possible.  Thanks!

 

What is the false self?

For the past few weeks we have taken a very detailed look at the concepts of true self and false self.  Today we are going to summarize the major characteristic of the false self and how it functions.  Our hope is that the more we recognize false self the more we will recognize the pain that comes from living in the false self identity.

 

We have learned that false self begins to be created as soon as we are born.  It knows it is supposed to be trained by true self.  True self is our nonphysical self that is the repository for everything we have ever learned.  At the beginning of each lifetime it is supposed to take charge and train false self to be the eyes and ears for true self during the lifetime.  True self is supposed to make all the decisions, not false self.

 

On this planet we do not do this with our infants.  The parents do not understand what true self is, so they allow the false self to take charge.  False self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge and begins to form its identity based on this fear of being alone and being in charge.

 

False Self Forms Attachments

False self in an infant is supposed to look to true self for guidance and its identity.  Because we do not train our infants to listen to true self our infants begin to take their false self identity from the physical objects around them.

 

The initial attachments that an infant forms are to their body and to those people around it.  Gradually the infant begins to form attachments to their thoughts and ideas.

 

By the time the child is about seven years old these initial attachments are set strongly enough that they will govern the child’s behavior for the rest of their life – or until they learn to retrain the false self.  There are times when true self steps in and says that we can rid ourselves of an attachment or a fear, and we do so.  However these times are relatively few and far between.

 

A Tangled Web of Fears and Attachments

As we have just seen, false self begins to form its identity from the fear that it knows that it is not supposed to be in charge of the lifetime.  It has not understood that true self is supposed to make the decisions.  It has also not been trained to listen to true self for guidance.  It becomes very fearful when it comes to the conclusion that it will have to operate alone for the lifetime.

 

In order to quell that base fear false self begins to create an identity based on attachments to the things around it.  As the child gets older these attachments become the source of the false self identity.

 

The false self identity is now made of such attachments as its clothing, its automobile, its body, its nationality, its religion, and many more.  Because the false self has yet to understand that true self is always available it believes that it is actually all these attachments.

 

The additional fears come from the perceived questioning or injuring of any of the attachments.  False self identifies with its automobile.  If someone scratches that automobile, then false self perceives that it has been scratched.  False self identifies with its religious beliefs.  If someone appears to question those religious beliefs, false self views this as its identity being questioned.

 

Frequently when the false self identity is injured or questioned false self thinks it has to defend or attack in order to protect that identity.  If someone questions its political views, false self thinks it has to lash out at that someone to defend its identity.  If false self thinks someone is going to take its possessions, it attacks in order to protect those possessions and therefore its identity.

 

The Difficulty of Retraining False Self

Ok – so we are starting to see where our unhappiness comes from.  Our false self is attached to all kinds of objects, people, and thoughts that it thinks create its identity.  We spend most of our lives acting out the fears that false self experiences because it is protecting its false self identity.  We know we are unhappy.  Why can’t we learn to become happy?

 

The reason why it takes awhile to learn to be happy is that false self is resisting us at every turn.  As we start to listen to and understand our true self we also start to question the false self identity.  We start to see the fears and attachments for what they are – our source of unhappiness.

 

Initially false self does not know whether or not it can trust true self.  False self has been running things for many years and has become quite afraid of anyone or anything questioning its fears and attachments.  It has spent the entire lifetime defending those fears and attachments.  It does not like true self questioning its identity.

 

We retrain false self by continuously facing its fears and attachments.  We learn to listen to true self and the quiet little voice that will not submit to those fears and attachments.  That quiet little voice eventually convinces false self that true self understands what is going on and can be trusted.

 

Although we can have great insights and make large advancements in a single step, the typical path is one of small but frequent steps.  We see a small fear and conquer it.  We see a small attachment and let it go.  We make the small steps as we see them, but do not wait for the big steps.  Those will happen, but they will happen in their own time when we least expect them.  The gradual daily progress is what will bring us closer to our true happiness.

 

That is all for today.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

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© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Understanding More of the False Self Identity

August 21, 2008

Recap

Yesterday we started to get a sense for how the false self builds its identity.  We discussed how this identity is built from attachments.  Finally we touched on a few of the external things that false self uses to create its false identity.

 

Today we will continue the list of things false self thinks we are but true self knows that we are not.  Let’s go!

 

The List Continues

Yesterday we ended the daily post with a few of the external situations that false self uses to construct its false identity.  Here are a few more things that you are not:

 

You are not your car.  Yesterday we discussed the idea of you are not your possessions.  We also looked at the idea that you are not your clothes.  Another common thing that we think we are is our car.

 

We do not literally think we are something with four wheels and an engine.  We are attached to the image that the car gives us.  If you think about the example from yesterday about clothes, many of us approach our automobiles in the same manner.

 

A car is something that is external that can project an image.  Like becoming attached to the image clothing gives us, we become attached to the image the car gives us.  Then we transfer that attachment from the image to the car and we start to create a false identity based on our car.  As with any attachment this will eventually lead to unhappiness.

 

You are not your political party.  This one is an example of being attached to our thoughts.  We have discussed the general idea of attachment to thoughts elsewhere on this site.  Now it is time to take a closer look at some specific thoughts and ideas to which we develop attachments.

 

Many of us choose a political party that we feel represents our view point.  That is as it should be.  When we develop an attachment to that party and incorporate that attachment as a part of our identity we have doomed ourselves to unhappiness.

 

When we say “I am a Republican”, or “I am a Democrat” we are most likely showing an attachment to our political party.  We can be just as attached to being an independent.  Once again it is not the favoring of a political party; it is creating an attachment to the idea of being a member of that party and incorporating that attachment into our false identity.

 

You are not your religious beliefs.  Just like the example of attaching to a political affiliation, we do the same thing with our religious beliefs.  We determine which religion we agree with and then attach to that religion.  Next we view that attachment as part of our false self identity.

 

It is not the decision to choose a religion that creates the false self identity.  It is the choice to create an attachment that creates the false self identity.

 

Like other attachments, false self feels it is being threatened when anyone questions the object of the attachment.  In this case, when false self is questioned about its religious beliefs it feels the need to defend or attack the source of the question.

 

When we think about this last statement it explains the source of most of the conflict in the world for most of known history.  One group is threatened because another group either questions or will not accept their religious beliefs.  The attachment to those beliefs causes them to attack those who don’t share the same belief.  And on it goes.

 

You are not your age.  Another common attachment is to our age.  This one is a combination of attachment to our body and attachment to our thoughts.

 

We have preconceived ideas of how we are supposed to behave, look, and feel when we are certain ages.  We turn those preconceived ideas into attachments.  Those attachments become a part of our false self identity and we become trapped by our preconceived ideas of what being a certain age means.

 

You are not who people tell you to be.  All of our lives we are told by the people around us who or what we should be.  Our parents tell us to be a doctor, lawyer, etc.  Our siblings tell us who we should be.  Our spouse tells us who we should be.  Our co-workers tell us who we should be.  After we receive all this input is it any wonder we have no idea who we are?

 

Along the way we attempt to be what other people tell us we should be.  Sometime we do this to make them happy.  Last month we learned that we can never make someone happy.  After awhile many of us quit trying to be what others tell us to be.

 

However, many times we do not release the attachments that we developed while we were trying to be what others wanted us to be.  Please review what others have told you to be and see if that is who you really want to be.  Don’t worry; you won’t lose anything except your false identity.

 

You are not your child or spouse.  Many of us develop a false sense of identity from our attachments to our spouse or children.  This can come out in many different ways.  Let’s take a look at two examples.

 

We all know about parents who get overly involved in the sport activities of their children.  We have all heard of or witnessed parents who behave very aggressively towards coaches or referees who “are not treating their child properly”.

 

All that is happening here is that the parent is so attached to the behavior of the child that they view the child as themselves.  Their false self perceives anything that happens to the child as happening to itself and must defend or attack any hurt to the child as if false self were being hurt.

 

We have all heard of or experienced someone who will not let their spouse say or do something “because it embarrasses me.”  This behavior comes from an attachment to the spouse where the spouse’s behavior is viewed as part of the false self identity.  Just like the previous example, the false self identity is defending itself from a perceived injury.

 

You are not your job.  Finally, we are not our job.  How many of us have created a false self identity surrounding our job.  I am truck driver so I must do the following things.  I am a doctor so I must have a certain type of house or car.

 

Hopefully after all these examples we are starting to see through some of these false self identities.  A doctor can have any car or house that that fits the way they want to live.  A truck driver can behave in many ways that their fellow truck drivers might not understand.

 

Our job is just what we are doing right now.  For some of us it may be part of what our true self wants to accomplish during this lifetime.  For most of us it is what we are doing to make money.  Either way, it is not part of our identity.  It is just what we do with our time.

 

If we really are accomplishing goals determined by true self and lost our job, true self would not care.  We know that we can find another way to accomplish those goals.  We know that by losing one job we might very well find a better way to accomplish those goals.

 

That’s all for today.  Please start to look at your false self identity and begin to see how living in that false identity has been painful.  There is no reason to live an unhappy life.  Please choose to live a happy life.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com