We have looked at the concept of forgiveness a few times this week. I thought of another aspect of forgiveness that will finish our week. Today we will look at how forgiveness and judgment are linked. When we refrain from judging we begin to learn forgiveness. But first…
Our usual custom is to take a few minutes on Friday to thank those around us. This week I want to thank everyone who has offered their comments about forgiveness. This has been a popular series of posts. Thanks to everyone for your contributions!
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A few words about judgment
We have addressed judgment in two previous posts. In “Judge Not” we looked at how false self likes to judge. For many of us, our false self identity is created from our judgments. Then we get attached to those judgments and the downward spiral of unhappiness begins.
In “Judgments Are Attachments” we looked more directly at how our judgments become attachments. One of the ideas we explored was that many of us use judgments as a pre-emptive attack on someone. By judging someone in this manner we think we exempt ourselves from having to like or even interact with that person.
The link to forgiveness
Now we will take a look at the two examples of judgment that we just mentioned. In the first example, when we create our false self identity from judgments we are also not accepting our true self.
Our true self understands that when we judge we also draw a line. We say “you are either with me or against me.” True self also realizes that this way of behaving is not accepting of the other individual. When our false self chooses to be judgmental it is rejecting the wisdom of our true self. As we discovered the other day, when we are not accepting of our self we are also not forgiving our self.
To summarize this link between forgiveness and judgment: when we construct our identity from false self judgments we are not accepting of our true self. When we are not accepting of our true self we are not forgiving our self for our false self behavior. Judging our self precludes forgiving our self.
The other point is about judging others. When we judge others we are saying that they have done something for which we cannot forgive them. Again, as we discovered the other day, this also means that we are putting conditions on our love for them.
We may think that we are protecting our self when we decide to judge someone else. We are actually placing conditions on them and saying that we cannot love them because of those conditions. In that, we are saying that we cannot love our self until we get rid of the same conditions.
Whenever we judge we are saying that we cannot forgive our self or anyone else because they are not behaving the way we think they should. As we get older the list of people who we judge and disapprove of gets longer and longer. As the list gets longer we become more unhappy. The only way to eliminate the list is to learn forgiveness of our self and everyone else.
That is all for this week. Have a safe and happy weekend!
Until Monday –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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