Linking Forgiveness and Judgment

December 19, 2008

We have looked at the concept of forgiveness a few times this week.  I thought of another aspect of forgiveness that will finish our week.  Today we will look at how forgiveness and judgment are linked.  When we refrain from judging we begin to learn forgiveness.  But first…

 Thankful Friday

Our usual custom is to take a few minutes on Friday to thank those around us.  This week I want to thank everyone who has offered their comments about forgiveness.  This has been a popular series of posts.  Thanks to everyone for your contributions!

 We always thank WordPress and FeedBurner for making the tools available that make this site free to publish, read, and distribute.  Thanks WordPress and FeedBurner!

 A few words about judgment

We have addressed judgment in two previous posts.  In “Judge Not” we looked at how false self likes to judge.  For many of us, our false self identity is created from our judgments.  Then we get attached to those judgments and the downward spiral of unhappiness begins.

 In “Judgments Are Attachments” we looked more directly at how our judgments become attachments.  One of the ideas we explored was that many of us use judgments as a pre-emptive attack on someone.  By judging someone in this manner we think we exempt ourselves from having to like or even interact with that person.

 The link to forgiveness

Now we will take a look at the two examples of judgment that we just mentioned.  In the first example, when we create our false self identity from judgments we are also not accepting our true self.

 Our true self understands that when we judge we also draw a line.  We say “you are either with me or against me.”  True self also realizes that this way of behaving is not accepting of the other individual.  When our false self chooses to be judgmental it is rejecting the wisdom of our true self.  As we discovered the other day, when we are not accepting of our self we are also not forgiving our self.

 To summarize this link between forgiveness and judgment: when we construct our identity from false self judgments we are not accepting of our true self.  When we are not accepting of our true self we are not forgiving our self for our false self behavior.  Judging our self precludes forgiving our self.

 The other point is about judging others.  When we judge others we are saying that they have done something for which we cannot forgive them.  Again, as we discovered the other day, this also means that we are putting conditions on our love for them.

 We may think that we are protecting our self when we decide to judge someone else.  We are actually placing conditions on them and saying that we cannot love them because of those conditions.  In that, we are saying that we cannot love our self until we get rid of the same conditions.

 Whenever we judge we are saying that we cannot forgive our self or anyone else because they are not behaving the way we think they should.  As we get older the list of people who we judge and disapprove of gets longer and longer.  As the list gets longer we become more unhappy.  The only way to eliminate the list is to learn forgiveness of our self and everyone else.

 That is all for this week.  Have a safe and happy weekend!

 Until Monday –

 Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

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Finger Pointing and Forgiveness

December 18, 2008

Yesterday we looked at a bit of spiritual logic regarding forgiveness.  That post received several comments.  The comment from Ruth got me thinking about an earlier post titled “Pointing Fingers”.  Today we look at similarities between these two posts.

 

Pointing fingers

The main idea of the post titled “Pointing Fingers” was that whenever we point a finger we always have three pointing back at us.  You can easily prove this to yourself by looking down at your hand and pointing your finger.  You have three pointing back at you.

 

The meaning of those three fingers is that we have to take responsibility for ourselves before we can attempt to “blame” someone else.  When we are honest with ourselves we find that we have an awful lot of stuff to work on.  We do not really need to waste time blaming someone else for things we feel they have done to us.

 

Forgiveness

This is where forgiveness comes in.  When we want to point a finger at someone else we actually wind up forgiving them when we notice the three fingers pointing back at us.

 

That is what happens when we really start to understand what those fingers pointing at us mean.  They say to us “How can you blame some one else when you are doing the same thing yourself?”  We have mentioned this idea before.  When we do not like what some one else is doing it is usually because we are doing the same thing and we do not like that we are also doing it.

 

To prove this to yourself just watch the people around you.  When someone complains about what someone else is doing be quiet and watch their behavior.  You will usually find that they are doing exactly what they are complaining that other people do.  By extension, that means we are probably behaving the same way.

 

Forgiving ourselves

Here is the main point for today’s post.  When we recognize the three fingers pointing back at us let’s start recognizing that this is also a reminder to forgive ourselves.  Self forgiveness can be the most difficult kind of forgiveness.

 

Self forgiveness requires self acceptance, objectivity, lack of denial, being in the moment, and many more things.  However, self forgiveness is the most powerful kind of forgiveness.

 

When we really start to forgive ourselves we finally start to like ourselves.  When we like ourselves we have true self confidence.  True self confidence is the most powerful tool we possess.  True self confidence harnesses the vast power of our true self which has always accomplished everything we, as true self, ever chose to do.  But that is another post.

 

That is all for today.  Remember – those three fingers pointing back at you are one of the most powerful tools you have.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by FeedBurner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com