The Beach Ball

February 13, 2009

Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball underwater?  You push it down and as soon as you let go it pops up.  You get on top of it and use your body to hold it down.  It is so unstable that you roll off.  Today we compare holding a beach ball underwater to being in denial.

 

Thankful Friday

As some of you may know, I have been looking for an opportunity to establish some income.  I have recently found an opportunity that seems to be the right one for this moment.  I want to thank all of my friends who have supported and encouraged me in recent months.  Your support has been very welcome and encouraging.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

And, as always, we thank WordPress and FeedBurner for their help.  They provide the tools that make this blog free for me to write and for you to read.  Thanks WordPress and FeedBurner!

 

You cannot keep things suppressed

In our opening paragraph today we looked at what happens when we attempt to keep a beach ball submerged.  We cannot do it.  It either pops back up once we let go of it or we roll off because it is unstable.

 

When we are not accepting of the things that happen within our life we are in denial.  We deny the reality of what is happening to us.  We attempt to suppress the situation.  Most of the time we also attempt to suppress the emotions that we experience that come from that situation.

 

This denial and suppression is just like attempting to hold a beach ball underwater.  In the end the beach ball always pops back up.  This is just as true for the situations and emotions that occur in our life.

 

Reasons to not suppress our experiences

When something happens that we do not like or do not want to face, we frequently want to look at something else.  This only causes the issues related to the situation to submerge like a beach ball.  Unfortunately, this beach ball will probably pop up and jump right into our life at just the moment that we do not need it there.  The beach ball will jump up and cause additional problems in another situation – at exactly the wrong time.

 

Also, as we have mentioned previously, every situation offers us an opportunity to learn something.  When we suppress or deny the reality of the situation we also deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from that experience.

 

Finally, do you remember how much effort it took you the last time you tried to hold a beach ball underwater?  It took a great deal of concentration and muscular coordination.  In the end you were not successful.

 

Similarly, we expend a great deal of concentration and effort when we are in denial.  The sooner we learn not to suppress our emotions and experiences, the sooner we can use that energy for our learning.

 

Do your self a favor – stop repressing and denying today.  You will be much happier and, as a bonus, you will waste so much less of your energy.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

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© Copyright 2009 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

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Who Makes Us Jump Off the Balcony?

November 5, 2008

On Monday we took a long look at the idea of observation.  We heard a lot abut the idea of observing from the balcony.  Today we look at the question of who makes us jump off that balcony.

 

Note

Because I have a very busy day planned on Election Tuesday, this post is being written on Monday afternoon.  If anything happens on Tuesday which requires a comment it will appear in the post planned for Thursday.

 

What gets us off the balcony?

We worked our way through the idea of observing through the metaphor of the balcony.  Several times we alluded to the fact that even after we have learned the technique we sometimes jump off the balcony.  Why?

 

The simple answer is our attachments.  The explanation is easy to imagine.  When we are standing on the balcony we are both literally and figuratively detached from what is going on around our body.

 

Being detached does not mean being unaware.  When we are on the balcony we are actually quite a bit more aware of what is going on than when we are enmeshed in our drama.  Being detached means we are actively watching but only choosing to act when we deem it the correct action.  In other words, each action is premeditated when we are observing from the balcony.

 

Standing on the balcony means we are detached.  Therefore, the thing that causes us to jump from the balcony is in an attachment.  Does that attachment belong to another player in our drama?  Of course not – our attachments cause us to jump off the balcony.

 

To put that idea another way – we choose to jump off the balcony rather than let go of the attachment.  We grab onto the attachment and let it pull us back into the drama and pain.  Now we are back in the pain.  Remember – pain always means there is an attachment.

 

Can someone make us jump off the balcony?

No one can make true self get out of the moment.  The only reason we get out of the moment is because we choose to do so.  Most of the time we just relapse into familiar behavior and drift out of the moment.

 

For whatever reason, true self is the one who decides to be out of the moment.  No external situation can cause us to be out of the moment.  We have the ultimate responsibility for staying in the moment.

 

False self is very quick to blame others.  False self thinks that if it can shift responsibility to an external situation.  Then it will not have to look at its own shortcomings.  False self is afraid to be wrong.

 

With this in mind, false self quickly tries to blame others for why it has jumped off the balcony.  Somebody got mad at it; somebody wouldn’t do what they were supposed to do; somebody was wrong so we had to yell at them.  False self is very quick to give these excuses for why it jumped off the balcony.

 

The ultimate responsibility

We have the ultimate responsibility for staying in the moment and on the balcony.  Sure – somebody got mad at us and we jumped off the balcony.  We must see that we are responsible for this reaction.  We must see that when someone does something to us that ultimately we are responsible for finding a way to stay in the moment despite this “transgression.”

 

As the old saying goes – “we cannot control what happens to us; we can only control how we react to what happens.”  In other words, people can and will do many things to us that we do not like.  Can we stop them?  Of course not.  Can we control how we react to what they do?  Emphatically yes!

 

This becomes the true test in learning how to stay on the balcony.  Someone does something to us that we do not like.  We have our hand loosely around the attachment that is the reaction to the supposed affront.

 

We are standing on the balcony as the rope of that attachment goes zipping through our hand.  We can choose to leave our hand open and let that attachment zip by.  Or we can choose to close our hand and grab the attachment and be pulled off the balcony.  The choice is ultimately ours.

 

Denial

Elsewhere we have discussed how damaging denial is to being in the moment.  When we jump off the balcony we will frequently deny several things.  Sometimes we deny that we are out of the moment.  Sometimes we will deny that we were the one who jumped off (somebody made us jump).  Sometimes we will deny that we are in pain.

 

Denial is one of the more common reasons that it takes us awhile to get back on the balcony.  As long as we stay in denial we are not in the moment and we are in pain.  When we jump off the balcony the best thing to do is to recognize the pain and admit that we have jumped off.  We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back on the balcony.

 

So who makes us jump?

I hope that by now the answer is clear.  We make ourselves jump.  We decide to grab onto an attachment and go zipping off the balcony and land splat in the middle of the drama and pain.

 

I want all of you to be happy all of the time.  Please get up on your balcony and quit jumping off.  The world will be a much happier place when we all learn to do this.

 

That is all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com