Visualize, Visualize, Visualize

December 5, 2008

Today we will look at the importance of visualization.  I have found this to be a very powerful tool for improving my life.  Let’s take a look at it to see if it can help you as well.

 

Thankful Friday

Today I would like to thank the new readers and subscribers to this site.  We are gradually adding new readers each month.  Thank you for taking the time to read this site.

 

As always we thank WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the tools that make writing and distributing this site free for all of us.  Thanks WordPress and FeedBurner!

 

If you see it you can achieve it

Many years ago this was a concept that I could not grasp.  I had little confidence in any of my abilities.  It seemed like some self help happy talk.  It took me many years to understand the power of this simple idea.

 

I gradually came to understand the power of this idea. I was fortunate enough to have a teacher who accepted and supported me unconditionally.  I received positive feedback for any advancement that I made in mastering myself.

 

Don’t get me wrong – there was plenty of very direct and pointed “instruction” whenever I got in my own way.  This was balanced with positive feedback when I managed to get myself untangled and advance a few steps on my path.  Over time I began to understand the importance of having both types of feedback.

 

At first, it was difficult for me to accept that I was making any progress.  My confidence was so low that I had to be convinced that I was moving down my path.  Over the course of many years I gradually saw that I was becoming more confident and much more happy.

 

Slowly I turn, step by step

Gradually I realized that I was looking at my shortcomings much more than I was looking at my strengths.  I guess this was one of my earliest visualizations.  I saw that when I concentrated on my strengths I had little room for my shortcomings.  Not that I ignored the shortcomings, I just concentrated on my strengths.  By doing this I began to master my weaknesses.

 

Slowly I turned from looking backwards at what I couldn’t do and what I saw as failures.  Slowly I turned towards a future of what I saw I could do.  Step by step I began to travel that path into the future, and quit looking backwards with recrimination.

 

I realized that I was visualizing

As I began to travel my path I began to look more closely at my “successes”.  I started to analyze those successes from start to finish.  I wanted to know why I was more successful with some endeavors than others.

 

One of the differences that I saw was that I was visualizing my success.  When I looked at the efforts that failed I realized that I had not been able to visualize their success.  These efforts seemed like a good idea at the time, but I started on them without a clear vision of how they would be accomplished.  I floundered around with a half thought out plan and wasted my time and effort.

 

I noticed that the efforts that were successful always began with my having a clear vision of the end result.  The intermediate steps were not important.  I saw that once I had a clear vision I would find a way to take the steps necessary to achieve the vision.

 

This was an important lesson for me.  I did not have to see the steps.  I just needed a clear vision of the outcome and the confidence to get there.  Between these two things I knew I would get there.

 

I realized that I had been visualizing for a long time

As I realized the importance of visualization to my spiritual path, I realized how much visualization I had already done.  Unfortunately, too much of that was visualizing failure, so that is what I achieved.  However, it did explain to me something that I had done in high school that I had never understood before.

 

I used to play high school football.  That was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.  I was a starter on both the offense and defense.  I had a strange habit of arriving at the locker room several hours before the game.  I would be the first one there and get mostly dressed for the game.

 

Then I would lie down on a bench in a quiet corner of the locker room.  I would go into an almost trancelike state and start to visualize all the different plays.  I would visualize myself blocking my opponent and our half back gaining ten yards.  On defense I would visualize myself tackling the quarterback in the backfield.

 

After an hour or so of this I was ready for the game.  And I usually played a very good game.  It was not until thirty years later that I realized the power my visualization had on the way I played.  When I started the game I had confidence.  That confidence came from my visualization of success on every play.

 

From there I began to look at other accomplishments in my life.  These were from the time before I began to knowingly travel my spiritual path.  I saw that each of those accomplishments was also preceded by a visualization of success and then taking the necessary steps to achieve that success.

 

We all visualize

Through this thought process I realized that all of us visualize.  We do it all the time.  Frequently we are unaware of that visualization.  I urge you to observe your method for achieving success.  Bring the power of visualization into use as the powerful tool that it is.  I assure you that you will begin to lead a more successful and happy life.

 

Do you have any success stories or anecdotes about visualization that you would like to share?  Please leave a comment and share them with all of our readers.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

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The 100 Mile 100 Year Test

December 2, 2008

Over the years I have developed a little tool that has helped me to keep my perspective.  Whenever I get enmeshed in a “problem” I pull out this little test and it helps me to see things much more clearly.  Let me share this little test with you.

 

We get so caught up in things

When we get out of the moment we are very easily swept up by our fears, worries, and doubts.  When this happens we lose perspective and become governed by those fears and doubts.

 

When we are governed by the fears and doubts we start a downward spiral of emotion.  This spiral almost always leads to some form of unhappiness.  We are so tangled up in our own thoughts that we cannot see our way back to happiness.  When we can no longer see our way back to happiness the bottom of our world drops out and we become very unhappy.

 

Here is a technique that I have used to break this cycle.

 

The 100 mile test

I used to get very unhappy and very depressed.  I would start to take everything so seriously (after all, I was a serious person) and be appropriately grim and businesslike.  I thought this was the way I was supposed to live my life.

 

One of the drawbacks from living like this was that I could not handle “problems” very well.  The least little thing that did not go the way I wanted it to go would send me into my spiral of fear and self doubt.  That downward spiral never had a happy ending.

 

One day as this spiral started for the gazillionth time, I found myself looking down at the planet from about 100 miles above where my body was standing.  I thought to myself that this was kinda weird, but I was getting somewhat used to weird things happening on my spiritual path.

 

As I looked down from this 100 mile perspective I realized that whatever my false self was caught up in was really not that important.  I realized that from 100 miles up there was not that much that made a difference.  If it was not that important, why should I bother worrying about it?

 

Some people describe this as an “Aha” moment.  I guess it was.  However, it made perfect sense to me.  If the thing that I was worrying about did not make a difference when viewed from 100 miles above, why was I literally destroying myself about it?

This revelation had a very calming effect on me.  I realized that when viewed from this perspective there are very few things that are that important.  It was almost as if scales had fallen from my eyes and I could finally start to see the things that were truly important.

 

OK – that last little bit might be somewhat dramatic, but not very much.  I truly felt that I had a way to help prioritize the things that are important to my life.

 

The 100 year test

You are all a bunch of very smart people.  You should be able to figure out this next one.

 

As I thought about this idea of inserting distance into my perspective to determine which things are important, I came across the idea of inserting time in a similar manner.  I realized that I could also insert a timeframe of 100 years into my worrying and achieve a similar result.

 

Thus the 100 year test came into being.  If what I am worrying about will be of no importance in 100 years then there is no reason for me to worry about it now.  Why worry so much about trivial matters when in 100 years it will not make a difference to anyone?

 

This is not to say that we adopt a lackadaisical approach to what we do.  We always do everything to the maximum of our ability.  We always strive to do the best job we can at whatever we choose to do.  This 100 year test is saying that we must learn how to keep our perspective of the relative importance of what we are doing.

 

False self tends to perceive dire consequences if we fail.  True self tends to stand back and realize that “failure” contains valuable information.  Properly used this information can lead us to success the next time around.  True self tends to look at things from the 100 year perspective and not care that much about the dire consequences that false self is so afraid of.

 

The 100 mile 100 year test

So here it is stated in its entirety:

 

If whatever I am worrying about makes no difference to the world when I view it from 100 miles up, then it is not worth worrying about.  If in 100 years that same thing will make no real difference to anyone, it also not worth worrying about.

 

I hope this little technique will become as powerful for you as it has become for me.  We all worry way too much about very inconsequential things.  Let’s all learn to stop worrying and be happy.  Hhmm…  if only someone would write a song about that.  Don’t worry, be happy.  That’s a catchy name for a song.

 

That is all for today.  Don’t worry – be happy!

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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There Is No Reason Not to be Happy

December 1, 2008

The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is no reason to be unhappy.  We create a lot of what we think are reasons to justify our unhappiness.  In the end these all boil down to a bunch of illusions.  Today we look at this idea.

 

Thanks to the Circle of Miracles

Yesterday I spoke at the Circle of Miracles in New Britain, PA.  I want to extend my thanks to Hannelore Goodwin and everyone there for being so accepting of me.  Everyone was so gracious and generous in their acceptance and openness to the topics that were presented.  I look forward to speaking there in the future whenever their schedule allows.

 

Why do we choose to be unhappy?

I have wondered about this question for a long time.  Sometimes I think I have an answer and at other times I am not so sure.

 

We have written extensively about happiness on this site.  True happiness comes from being in the moment.  When we are not in the moment we are acting from our false self.

 

As we know, false self is constructed from fear.  We can never be happy when we are fearful.  At best we can find a temporary relief from some of the fears which will provide a temporary appearance of happiness.  This cannot be a permanent and true happiness because the underlying fears are still there.  True happiness comes from the recognition that the false self will never bring happiness.  Consequently we quit seeking happiness from our false self.

 

But why is this so hard?

I know, I know, we have been across this ground many times before on this site.  However, it is still a very important question and it seems to warrant additional investigation.  My initial response is that we are attached to what we think happiness means.

 

By this I mean that we have a long list of things that we are conditioned to believe equate to happiness.  We can start with money, a big house and end with a fancy car, lots of vacations, and plenty of time to play golf.  Each of us has a false self that keeps a list of dozens of things that will make us happy.

 

What is the common thread that runs through all of these happiness making things?  They are all external and/or physical.  We think we will be happy because we have a relationship.  We are looking for happiness in an external circumstance (the relationship). We are also looking for our happiness from the other person in the relationship.  That is also looking for happiness externally.

 

It is pretty clear that things like money, a house, a car, and vacations are also external circumstances.  They are supposed to bring us happiness, but at best they bring us a temporary respite from our fears.  Why can’t we learn that these things are illusions?

 

The only reason that I have seen as to why it is so hard to let go of things is that we are so strongly attached to them.

 

It must be the attachments

We have dealt with attachments on this site before.  We will probably deal with them again.  They are so pervasive in our thinking it can be very difficult to learn to let go of all of them.

 

When we are children most of us are taught by parents who have attachments to the idea that external things will bring us happiness.  We are taught that birthday and Christmas presents will make us happy.  We are taught to find a good paying job that will make us happy.  We were taught that there were dozens of things that will make us happy – and we were taught to be attached to them.

 

It is the attachment that is the real problem.  The attachments mean that we have learned to identify with the possessions.  Through the attachment we think that the possessions become a part of us.  We are unhappy without the possession because it means that we are missing a piece of our self.  That is how strong the attachments become.

 

Everyone around us has the same attachments.  Does a fish know that it is swimming in water?  If everyone around us has the same attachments how can we finally realize that the attachments will never bring us happiness?

 

Hard knocks

Unfortunately, far too many of us never realize that the attachments are causing the unhappiness.  Most of us get glimpses that the attachments and the physical objects are not making us happy.  It ends with the glimpse because most of us do not know what to do after we get the glimpse.

 

What usually happens is that eventually we become so unhappy that we determine that there must be a better way.  We experience so much pain that we finally open ourselves up to another way to live our life.  This is where the spirituality comes in.  We finally begin to knowingly travel our spiritual path because it is too painful to continue as we were.

 

I hope that in the near future we will find another way for most of us to learn to travel our spiritual path.  I think that it is somewhat sad that we seem to find our spirituality as a last resort.  We try everything else and then we try spirituality.

 

Through our spirituality we find true happiness inside of us.  We learn to release our attachments because we learn to see the unhappiness they bring us.  Our spirituality becomes the most important thing in our life, not something we do when we have a few spare minutes.

 

We started this post by saying that there in no reason not to be happy.  We just have to learn to see through the illusions and excuses that come from our attachments.  We simply stop justifying our unhappiness.

 

If you have any ideas regarding how we can help each other to learn that spirituality should be our first priority please submit your comment.  Please let us know how you think we can help each other to stop finding spirituality as a last resort.

 

That is all for today.  Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

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Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Do You Want to be Happy or Do You Want to be Like Everybody Else?

November 25, 2008

This very interesting question was posed to me many years ago.  I have never forgotten it.  I have been known to ask myself this question when I am making decisions about my life.  Today we will explore this question.

 

Do you want to be like everyone else?

Of course we all want to be happy.  The key point here becomes what that happiness is.  If we listen to what the advertising on our TV is telling us, happiness means more stuff.  A new car will make us happy.  A new pill will give us better health and we will be happy.  New clothes will give us a new “us” and that will be happier than the old “us”.

 

If we watch the programs, what passes for “content” tells us that our happiness comes from our relationships.  Most programs that deal in either drama or comedy revolve around the personal relationships of the characters portrayed. 

 

Very few of these characters ever deal with the idea that we must have a good relationship with our self before we can have a good relationship with anyone else.  These programs teach us that we must have someone in our life who likes us before we can like our self.

 

If you have read our postings about relationships you will know that I think that idea is totally backwards.  Before we can like anyone else we have to learn to like our self.  Anything else means we are looking for approval from others before we approve of our self.  That is a sure way to be unhappy.

 

Finally we look at the crime stories and other violent programs.  It seems to me that the purpose of these programs is primarily to scare us.  We are taught to be fearful of “bad” people.  These people can be terrorists in “24”, criminals in “Law & Order”, or monsters in horror programs.  However you cut it, there is no happiness when you are fearful.

 

I realize that I am picking only one medium.  However, this is the largest medium on the planet.  Much of the global content has traditionally been from the USA, but this is changing.  The medium of television is the most representative of how the planet views itself and the various cultures.

 

Do you want to be happy?

Happiness on this planet seems to be defined by acquisition of material objects and what others think of us.  There does not (yet) seem to be a strong movement in the culture towards introspection and self understanding.  There does not seem to be a broad interest in discovering happiness internally.

 

This is the heart of the question “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be like everyone else?”  When we are being like everyone else we are looking for our happiness externally.

 

When we choose to be happy we choose for internal happiness.  We choose for happiness that comes from true self.  We choose to listen to our own drummer and begin to learn that traveling our own path to happiness is much more rewarding than trying to be like everyone else.

 

We have written extensively about happiness, true self, and attachments.  What keeps us from being happy and dooms us to be like everyone else are the false self attachments.  Just the fact that we want to be like everyone else is an example of those attachments.

 

We want their attachments

When we want to be like everyone else we are clinging to an attachment.  This specific attachment is very powerful because what we are really saying is that we want to have everyone else’s attachments.  If we want to be like them, that means we want to be attached to what they are attached.

 

Once we realize that all attachments eventually bring pain, we will also realize that we do not want to be like everyone else.  They might think they are happy.  They will gladly tell us how happy they are.  Watch them long enough and we will see just how unhappy they really are.

 

As we learn to deal with our attachments we gradually learn about our happiness.  We learn that we can release our attachments and not care about what others think.  We learn to not talk about our lack of attachments.  We just learn to be happy and not say anything.

 

Those who are doing the same will see.  They will understand what we are doing without our having ever said a word.  They will also do whatever they can to help you.  They are travelling the same path and understand the importance of support that is given by one true self to another true self.

 

After all, isn’t this the type of person we want in our life?  If we have twenty people around us who all want us to have their attachments, we have a much more difficult task.  One person who is giving us true support from their true self will be of much more assistance than those twenty other people.

 

It gets difficult to cut the attachments and walk forward without any support.  However, for the sake of your own happiness I implore you to do so.

 

After all, do you want to be happy or do you want to be like everyone else?

 

That is all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

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Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by FeedBurner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Pointing Fingers

September 2, 2008

Welcome Back

I would like to welcome back everyone from a long weekend.  Once again the weather in the northeast US was outstanding.  We had cool evenings with seasonably warm days.

 

Our thoughts are with those on the central gulf coast who have had their weekend disrupted by hurricane Gustav.  We extend an open hand to anyone who needs assistance.  Just let us know if we can be of any help.

 

This week we will continue to look at false self behaviors.  We will start by looking at what happens when we point fingers.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

When you point a finger

We will start this example with a small demonstration.  Extend you arm and point your index finger at a nearby object.  Now take a close look at your hand.  Notice that you have one finger pointing away from you, but there are three facing back at you.

 

Here is an explanation that I learned many years ago.  I hope it will help you as much as it has helped me over the past thirty years.

 

One points away

Let’s first take a look at the finger pointing away from us.  This is the finger we use when we blame someone or something for causing us a “problem”.  We are using the finger to say that something external to us caused us a “problem”.

 

This is a false self behavior.  False self does not want to take responsibility for most situations.  It can always find an external cause to use as a scapegoat.  Now it does not have to look at itself.

 

The last thing that false self want to admit is that it made a mistake or was deficient in any way.  It uses the finger of blame and points it around until it finds a target that can explain away any “problems” that it might be having.

 

We are angry with a co-worker.  False self pulls out its blame finger and calls out that co-worker for not thinking, lack of intelligence, or whatever it decides is the cause for it being upset.

 

We are upset with our spouse.  False self’s blame finger points at them and accuses them for not loving us, spending too much money, not paying attention to us, or whatever else it decides it wants to be upset about.

 

The key point to remember is that the blame finger is pointing outside of us and saying this is the cause of our “problems”.  Here is a paradox.  Whatever traits false self is saying it does not like in the people around us, it is really saying that it does not like that about itself.

 

We will explore this paradox later this week.  For now, just start to think about this idea.  We will look at it in detail tomorrow.

 

Three fingers point back

The part of this example that I have always found to be the most powerful is discovering the other three fingers.  Point your finger as you did a few minutes ago.  Look at your hand again.  There are three fingers pointing back at you.

 

Those three fingers serve as a reminder to look at yourself first before you blame someone or something else.  Three fingers outnumber one finger.  Watch carefully where the three fingers point before you look at where the one finger points.

 

This might seem a bit strange at first, but try it anyway.  False self wants to avoid blame so it looks at external situations to find a cause for its unhappiness.  True self knows that all “problems” are first solved from within before we solve the external manifestation of the “problem”.  True self knows that we must look within before we look without to understand and resolve a “problem”.

 

Use this method of three fingers against one as a subtle device to help retrain false self.  We are so accustomed to pointing fingers at our “problems” that at first it will be hard to even remember to look at our hand.

 

Don’t worry.  One day you will be all caught up in blaming someone and this example will come back to mind.  You won’t want to look at yourself, but you will remember that those three fingers tell you that you should.  You might look at the three fingers and you might not.  The important thing is that you remembered the example.

 

Next time the example comes up you might acknowledge that it has some validity.  You might start to look back at your self instead of continuing to blame someone or something else.  Over time, you will realize that all “problems” are resolved inside.  You will see that false self keeps looking outside and that true self is inside and that true self is the answer to all of our false self “problems”.

 

I urge you to watch very carefully when you blame an external situation for your unhappiness.  The sooner you see that this blame only continues your unhappiness, the sooner you will take responsibility for your “problems” and create your own true happiness.

 

Come back tomorrow when we will look at what actually happens when we do not like those around us.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


False Self is an “It”

August 29, 2008

Thankful Friday

Our regular readers will remember that every Friday we start our post by expressing our gratitude to those around us.  This week I want to thank several of our readers for their feedback and suggestions about ideas they want to explore.  Thanks for the feedback and please keep it coming.

 

We also had a few email exchanges this week that were very thoughtful.  I appreciate all of our readers who took the time to write me this week.  Now, if we could only get these dialogs moved to comments on the blog where everyone can participate and benefit…

 

Our final thank you for the week goes to our new readers.  The number of hits on the site went up this week as did our email subscriber count.  As always we close with our appreciation to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free services that make this possible.

 

Housekeeping

Monday, September 1st is the Labor Day holiday in the United States.  I will be taking the day off.  The next post will be Tuesday, September 2nd.  Have a great weekend.

 

False self is an “it”

As you have been reading this blog over the last few weeks we have discussed the concepts of true self and false self at great length.  If you look carefully, I have always referred to false self as “it”.  Today I will discuss the reasons why I use this type of reference.

 

We identify with false self easily

One of the aspects of false self that was discussed several times recently is the idea that it is created for each lifetime.  Every time we reincarnate we create a new false self.  Our true self is the source of all of our knowledge and learning.  Why should we treat false self as a part of ourselves?

 

False self is temporary.  False self is just a physical tool which we use for a lifetime.  We do not take any of our possessions with us when we die.  Why should we take our false self?

 

We have repeated many times that all of our unhappiness, fears, possessiveness, anger, etc. come from false self.  Why would true self want to take that with us after we complete the lifetime?

 

Over the last few weeks we have looked extensively at the reasons why we are so attached to our false self identity.  For all those reasons and many more I always attempt to portray false self as something that is external to false self.  I always attempt to take away any identification with false self.

 

False self is external to true self.  False self is not “me”.  False self is not “us”.  False self is an “it”.  That “it” is not part of us, true self.

 

View false self as external

There are some religious and spiritual teachings and practices that do not make this clear distinction about false self.  If there is one thing that I hope to get across in the body of my writing it is this:

 

False self is not part of me – true self.  False self is merely an external tool that true self uses during a single lifetime.  The more I view false self as external to me the easier I recognize my true self.

 

It is so easy to think that false self is a part of true self.  We have spent several weeks looking at the reasons for this.  Everyone else around us views false self as their identity.  It is very difficult not to do the same.

 

The bottom line is our happiness.  I have learned that there is nothing more important in this world right now than for all of us to find and understand their true happiness.  We began our entire month of discussions on this subject by showing that happiness comes from true self.

 

The vast majority of the world is looking for their happiness from and within their false self.  We have mentioned numerous times that happiness comes internally from true self.  If false self is external to true self, how are we ever going to find happiness through false self?

 

Once again, the more that we can view false self as something which we created this lifetime, the more we will be able to view it as external to true self.  The more we can see that the unhappiness, anger, violence, and fears as part of the false self identity the easier it will be to externalize false self.

 

Have a great weekend

That is all for today, this week, and this month.  Once again, we will not be posting on Monday.  Our next post will be Tuesday, September 2nd.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Until Tuesday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

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Tips to Get Yourself in the Moment

August 27, 2008

Yesterday we illustrated the link between the concepts of true self, false self and being in the moment.  We heard that false self can never be in the moment.  Hopefully we felt and understood that true self is always in the moment.

 

So what did we learn from this?  I hope we learned that our happiness comes from being true self and in the moment at all times.

 

Are you ready for a few tips about how to get yourself in the moment?  Let’s go!

 

Take a chill pill

When we are upset, angry, frustrated, sad, etc., we are not in the moment.  The most important thing that we can do when we notice that we are not in the moment is to calm down.  Chill out.  Relax.

 

Eckhart Tolle has done some excellent work with his explanations of how to calm down and get ourselves in the now.  He recommends that we become silent.  Then we take a few slow breaths.  As we take those breaths, we begin to sense our body.  We continue taking deep breaths, we watch those breaths move in and out of the body, and we gradually calm ourselves down.  As we calm ourselves down we next start to observe our thoughts.

 

Observe yourself

As we calm ourselves we begin to have enough concentration that we can begin to observe our thoughts.  When we are upset, the internal thoughts, the chatter if you will, are so loud and so intense that we are unable to think clearly.  Part of the reason that we calm ourselves down is to begin to watch our thoughts.

 

As we begin to observe our thoughts we are able to watch for the harmful ones.  Acting out our harmful thoughts is a good way to cause ourselves a mess.  When we are upset we bombard ourselves with so many thoughts that we cannot sort through them.  We react to some of them and a few of those thoughts are harmful.  That is how we create our messes.

 

As we learn to observe our thoughts it will take a little time to learn to see the harmful ones.  That is fine.  This is a skill, and like any other skill it requires practice.  The important thing is to start.  Take every opportunity you have to observe your thoughts.  For now, don’t worry about doing anything about them, just learn to watch them.

 

We have looked at the idea of observation many times on this site.  I have found it to be the most fundamental skill required to be in the moment.  Observation must be practiced at all times in order to stay in the moment.

 

Ignore the chatter

A few paragraphs ago we talked about the chatter in our heads.  As we learn to observe our thoughts we begin to hear the chatter.  That chatter is nothing but false self nonsense.  However, we have been listening to and acting out this chatter for our entire life.  We think this chatter is ourself.

 

This chatter is the reason that we learn to calm down.  The chatter gets so loud and our reaction so immediate that we wind up out of control.  We can be out of control angry, violent, depressed, possessive, euphoric, and many more.  The point is that we are no longer observing the chatter.  We have become the chatter.

 

As we calm down and then start to observe, the chatter will return.  As we begin this process of observation we usually don’t even notice that the chatter has returned.  The chatter is so pervasive that we expect it to be there.  It returns and we are off to the races again.  Do not worry or get upset.  Eventually we will notice that we are unhappy.  We will ask ourselves “what happened?”  We will realize that we have to get back in the moment.

 

Do not be afraid to fail

In another post I compared learning this technique to learning to ride a bicycle.  In many ways this is the appropriate analogy.  Each starts with not knowing how, being afraid of the task, failing as we learn, and eventually learning to perform the task.

 

Do not be afraid to fail.  Chances are that you will.  We all start to learn to be in the moment.   We all start to see how much happier we are when we are in the moment.  Then we all make a sharp turn and go off on a tangent and create a new mess.  This is all part of the process.

 

Very few people have ever learned to be in the moment and then never gotten out of the present again.  For most of us it is a skill that we must practice, even when we have made great advancement.

 

I will not claim to always be in the moment.  However, I will claim that I have learned enough about staying in the moment to understand that it is my source of happiness.  I also have learned enough about staying in the moment that I am able to help others learn what I have learned for themselves.

 

One last point about failure – true self is not afraid to fail.  True self knows that it cannot “fail.”  When true self falls short of our objectives it views this as progress.  True self knows that by falling short of the objective we will learn something that we can use to get closer to the objective on the next attempt.  True self views as learning what false self views as failure.

 

Summary

Here is the summary of today’s tips:

 

  1. Take a chill pill – The first step to getting ourselves into the present is to calm down
  2. Observe yourself – Once we have relaxed we can start to observe ourselves, most especially our thoughts
  3. Ignore the chatter – As we start to learn the skill of observation the chatter will return.  We will gradually learn to ignore this chatter.
  4. Do not be afraid to fail – Learning this skill is like learning to ride a bicycle.  We will fail, but we will also learn from those failures.

 

That is all for today.  Tomorrow we will have a few more tips that will help you stay in the moment.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

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This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com