Learning to Be In the Moment

August 26, 2008

In the last few days one of our readers asked me to talk a bit more about being in the moment.  They wanted some suggestions about how to be in the moment.  So here is that explanation.  Let’s go!

 

True self is always in the moment

In the last few weeks we have discussed at length the ideas of true self and false self.  The link to being in the moment is whether or not we are acting from true self or accepting the unhappiness of false self.

 

When we are operating from true self we are in the moment.  You might ask “how will I know when that happens?”  Here are a few ways to recognize that you are in the moment.

 

The most important way to recognize that you are in the moment is that you are absolutely peaceful and calm.  You are so calm that you do not really care what happens.  Deep inside you know that whatever happens is just fine because you know that you can handle it.  You know that the choices you make are the correct choices and that all you need to do is take the appropriate steps and you will accomplish anything you choose to do.

 

Another way to recognize when you are in the moment is that you do not notice the passage of time.  Whatever you are doing, you have become so involved that you do not realize that several hours have passed.

 

I heard a good example of this recently.  Leonard Bernstein, the conductor and composer, was recounting a time when he was conducting a symphonic performance.  He said that he stepped on the podium and began conducting.  The next thing he remembered was the applause at the end of the event.  He had been in the moment so deeply that several hours had passed without him realizing that passage.

 

Have you ever noticed yourself watching your thoughts or actions?  Whether you realized it or not you were being the “observer”.  There are many spiritual and religious practices that discuss the idea of observation as a way to self mastery.

 

For me, observation is the key to really learning how to be in the moment.  We will discuss observation at greater length tomorrow.  For now just note that whenever you step outside of yourself for the shortest instant and see yourself from a different perspective you are in the moment.  When you catch that glimpse congratulate yourself for that achievement and begin to recognize the feeling, and then repeat this as often as possible.

 

False self is never in the moment

By definition, false self can never be in the moment.  That is why it is false self.  False self is the place where we experience all the things that we do not want to be.  Let’s take a look at a few characteristics of false self and why that is not being in the moment.

 

First of all, whenever we are not happy we are not in the moment.  False self has a myriad of excuses that it decides are reasons for not being happy.  It does not have the possessions that it wants so it is unhappy.  It was awakened in the middle of the night so it is upset that it did not get enough sleep.  And here is the big one.  Someone burned its toast this morning so it must be upset all day about that insult.

 

Why are these things not being in the moment?  Let’s take a closer look at a few of these examples.  See if you can spot the pattern.

 

When false self does not think that it has the possessions that it should have it is actually envisioning another time.  In that envisioned time period false self has the big house, the expensive car, the beautiful clothes that it thinks it should have now.  False self does not have those possessions at this moment and it senses a disconnect.  It also senses the possibility that it might never get those possessions.  False self becomes unhappy until it either finds something new about which to feel unhappy or we get back in the moment.

 

If false self is awakened and is upset because it did not get enough sleep it is actually envisioning a time when it should get the sleep it “needs.”  It is convinced that it needs eight hours of undisturbed sleep.  When it is disturbed it compares this vision of the current situation with the idealized time.  It wants to be in the idealized time and gets upset because the current time does not match it.

 

Once again false self decides that it needs to be upset.  That upset can last for a few minutes, hours, or days.  The upset will last until it finds something it views as more important to get upset with or true self takes over and we get back in the moment.

 

Finally, let’s look at what happens when someone burns the toast that false self had planned to eat for breakfast.  This egregious affront to false self causes it to think back on all the previous meals it enjoyed when the toast was prepared properly.  Once again, the envisioned time frame does not match the current experience.

 

For the rest of the day false self takes this perceived injury out on everyone it meets.  It yells at its fellow commuters.  It is sullen with its co-workers.  When it gets home it yells at the children.  It was unhappy all day because of some burned toast.

 

Did you see the pattern here?  It was the false self putting itself in another time period and comparing it to the current experience.  That is the definition of not being in the moment.  The idealized time period will never match the current experience, yet false self never ceases attempting to make it match.

 

When our concentration is not on the current experience, by definition we are not in the moment.  True self concentrates completely on the current experience and endeavors to understand that situation.  True self does not care about a future or past time period.  True self knows that when we concentrate completely on what is going on NOW everything else will take care of itself.

 

Eckhart Tolle has done some excellent work with teaching people to be in the moment.  That work might help you as it has helped me.  Please check our resource page for more information.

 

That is all for today.  Tomorrow we will look at a few tips for learning to be in the moment.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

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Examining a Grudge

August 25, 2008

Welcome Back

Welcome back!  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  The weather in this part of the northeastern US remained great.  I wish the best to all those who have experienced hardships from Tropical Storm Fay.  I hope to take a little time later this week to explain a perspective of what was going on there.  That storm appeared to be an indication that the planetary rebalancing is getting closer.

 

Also this week we will take a closer look at how we can learn to stay in the moment.  I received an inquiry from a reader who asked if we could go into further depth about how to stay in the moment.  We will take a bit of time this week to do just that.

 

Today we will take a look at an example of how the false self holds a grudge.  The lesson to take from this is how unhappy this can make us for many years.

 

Are you ready to look at how silly a grudge can be?  Let’s go!

 

An Old Grudge

Many people know that I am a cineaste, a person who is a fan of movies.  My preference is classic movies from all over the world.  Pursuing this interest allows me to watch the false self in action from many perspectives.  Sometimes it is the way the plot is written and the characters act out their parts.  When researching the history of the movies one encounters many stories where actors lived their real lives deeply enmeshed in their false self illusions and fears.

 

This weekend I was watching an interview with a very famous director.  The interview was recorded several years ago when the director was over eighty years old.  The director has since passed.

 

During the interview the discussion turned to an incident many years ago when the director had punched a critic.  When asked about the incident the director readily admitted to having attacked the critic.

 

Evidently the reason the director physically attacked the critic was that the critic had written reviews of the director’s work that the director did not like.  The director said that he thought that by punching the critic he would intimidate the critic so that the critic would no longer write about him.

 

The part of the interview that I found extremely sad was that the director said “I hated that man then, and I hate him now.  Even though he is now dead I will always hate him.”

 

Carrying Great Pain

What I found so sad about this interview was that this world acclaimed man had chosen to bring himself so much pain.  This deep seated hate of the critic had caused him to act in a very painful manner and attack the man.  Then he chose to cause continuing pain by nurturing a deep and hateful grudge for the critic.

 

How many of us carry similar pain?  False self decided that some incident in the past was so hurtful that we were going to punish the one(s) who caused the hurt by hating them for the rest of our lives.

 

I have an acquaintance that has carried the same type of hurt for over thirty five years.  He was in combat in the Viet Nam war and has yet to release his hate of the ones he fought.  Just like the director, the object of his hate is dead, yet he continues to hurt himself by continuing to hate.

 

Why Does False Self Hate?

There are many reasons that false self hates, but they all come down to either perceiving that it has been hurt or anticipating that it might be hurt.  In the case of our director, his false self perceived that it had been hurt.  Let’s step through this based on what we have learned in the last few weeks.

 

This all starts with the director’s false self identification with his work.  As we have seen, this identification causes false self to think that the film is part of itself.  Now that the film is part of itself any remark (true or not) that false self chooses not to like will be viewed as an attack on false self.  An attack on the film is the same as an attack on false self.

 

In order to “defend” itself false self determined that the best course of action would be to attack the critic.  The stated reason was to keep the critic from writing about the director’s work.  This means that the false self attacked the critic so that the critic would not continue to hurt the false self by writing about the director’s work.  In other words, the critic could not hurt the false self if he no longer wrote about the director.

 

In this case the director first perceived an attack on false self through the unflattering writings of the critic.  Hurt number one for the false self.  The false self attacked the critic to keep him from hurting false self again.  Hurt number two for the false self.  This attack hurt false self much more than it hurt the critic.

 

In order to “prove” that false self was “right” when it attacked the critic the false self then chose to hate the critic.  The false self “logic” here was that if we could always view the critic with hate then we would not have to look at the possibility that we might have been wrong to attack the critic.

 

This became hurt number three for the false self. And it became the hurt that it nurtured for the rest of its life.  It is so sad to see people hurt themselves in this manner.  When we really understand how the false self is controlling our lives through fears and illusions we wonder why people choose to hurt themselves so deeply.  At least I wonder about that.

 

That’s all for today.  I am very interested in hearing your insights regarding the example we looked at today.  A discussion about this type of situation is always thought provoking for everyone involved.  Please share your thoughts with our other readers.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

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Summarizing the False Self

August 22, 2008

Thankful Friday

As always, we will take a moment and thank those around us for their work and assistance.  Our first thank you goes out to the imsezha who have provided such wonderful weather for the last two weeks.  The weather this month in this area of the northeast US has been close to perfect.  (If you want to know who the imsezha are post a comment asking the question.)

 

Our second thanks goes to our readers.  Thank you for taking the time to read this site on a regular basis.  Our final thanks goes to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free tools that make this site possible.  Thanks!

 

What is the false self?

For the past few weeks we have taken a very detailed look at the concepts of true self and false self.  Today we are going to summarize the major characteristic of the false self and how it functions.  Our hope is that the more we recognize false self the more we will recognize the pain that comes from living in the false self identity.

 

We have learned that false self begins to be created as soon as we are born.  It knows it is supposed to be trained by true self.  True self is our nonphysical self that is the repository for everything we have ever learned.  At the beginning of each lifetime it is supposed to take charge and train false self to be the eyes and ears for true self during the lifetime.  True self is supposed to make all the decisions, not false self.

 

On this planet we do not do this with our infants.  The parents do not understand what true self is, so they allow the false self to take charge.  False self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge and begins to form its identity based on this fear of being alone and being in charge.

 

False Self Forms Attachments

False self in an infant is supposed to look to true self for guidance and its identity.  Because we do not train our infants to listen to true self our infants begin to take their false self identity from the physical objects around them.

 

The initial attachments that an infant forms are to their body and to those people around it.  Gradually the infant begins to form attachments to their thoughts and ideas.

 

By the time the child is about seven years old these initial attachments are set strongly enough that they will govern the child’s behavior for the rest of their life – or until they learn to retrain the false self.  There are times when true self steps in and says that we can rid ourselves of an attachment or a fear, and we do so.  However these times are relatively few and far between.

 

A Tangled Web of Fears and Attachments

As we have just seen, false self begins to form its identity from the fear that it knows that it is not supposed to be in charge of the lifetime.  It has not understood that true self is supposed to make the decisions.  It has also not been trained to listen to true self for guidance.  It becomes very fearful when it comes to the conclusion that it will have to operate alone for the lifetime.

 

In order to quell that base fear false self begins to create an identity based on attachments to the things around it.  As the child gets older these attachments become the source of the false self identity.

 

The false self identity is now made of such attachments as its clothing, its automobile, its body, its nationality, its religion, and many more.  Because the false self has yet to understand that true self is always available it believes that it is actually all these attachments.

 

The additional fears come from the perceived questioning or injuring of any of the attachments.  False self identifies with its automobile.  If someone scratches that automobile, then false self perceives that it has been scratched.  False self identifies with its religious beliefs.  If someone appears to question those religious beliefs, false self views this as its identity being questioned.

 

Frequently when the false self identity is injured or questioned false self thinks it has to defend or attack in order to protect that identity.  If someone questions its political views, false self thinks it has to lash out at that someone to defend its identity.  If false self thinks someone is going to take its possessions, it attacks in order to protect those possessions and therefore its identity.

 

The Difficulty of Retraining False Self

Ok – so we are starting to see where our unhappiness comes from.  Our false self is attached to all kinds of objects, people, and thoughts that it thinks create its identity.  We spend most of our lives acting out the fears that false self experiences because it is protecting its false self identity.  We know we are unhappy.  Why can’t we learn to become happy?

 

The reason why it takes awhile to learn to be happy is that false self is resisting us at every turn.  As we start to listen to and understand our true self we also start to question the false self identity.  We start to see the fears and attachments for what they are – our source of unhappiness.

 

Initially false self does not know whether or not it can trust true self.  False self has been running things for many years and has become quite afraid of anyone or anything questioning its fears and attachments.  It has spent the entire lifetime defending those fears and attachments.  It does not like true self questioning its identity.

 

We retrain false self by continuously facing its fears and attachments.  We learn to listen to true self and the quiet little voice that will not submit to those fears and attachments.  That quiet little voice eventually convinces false self that true self understands what is going on and can be trusted.

 

Although we can have great insights and make large advancements in a single step, the typical path is one of small but frequent steps.  We see a small fear and conquer it.  We see a small attachment and let it go.  We make the small steps as we see them, but do not wait for the big steps.  Those will happen, but they will happen in their own time when we least expect them.  The gradual daily progress is what will bring us closer to our true happiness.

 

That is all for today.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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How True Self Uses Possessions

August 19, 2008

How True Self Uses Possessions

 

Recap

Yesterday we looked at how false self attaches itself to possessions.  We heard about the way false self feels hurt when one of our possessions is damaged.  We also started to get a feeling for the idea that we should view possessions as tools that we use while we are learning and growing.

 

Today we will take a closer look at how true self uses possessions.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

True Self for Our Learning

We have seen how false self wants to attach to many things, especially possessions.  True self is happy and self contained.  When we are being our true self we realize that objects and possessions are temporary.  They come into our lives when we need them and we should not get upset when they leave our lives.

 

True self views all objects as tools which it needs to do its job.  What is that job?  As we have stated many times on this site – we exist to learn and grow and share that learning and growth with each other.  So the job of our true self is to continue to learn and grow.

 

True self evaluates all objects and possessions in the light of what it needs to learn and grow.  When an object is no longer needed for our learning true self does not care if it leaves our life – true self just allows that object to leave.  We will not hang on to the object because of attachment.  We will maintain possession only if we anticipate needing that object.

 

True self does not care if an unneeded object leaves our possession.  True self views this as one less thing we have to look after.  True self also knows that if an object leaves our possession and we need it again – then we will acquire it again.

 

At first this might seem like a lot of work.  First we acquire something and then we let it go.  Then we acquire it again.  However, once the object has ceased to be useful, how can we know if we are going to ever need it again?  I view that the work required to maintain the object “just in case” is usually far more work than letting it go and then getting it back again.  If we let it go and then get it back we might get a better one back or one that is more suited for the task.

 

Also, the fewer possessions we have the more simple our life becomes.  The more simple our life becomes the more time we have to concentrate on our real job of learning and sharing that learning.

 

True Self and Status Symbols

Status symbols are just another way to describe attachments.  A status symbol is supposed to convey a certain image about the person who possesses the status symbol.  False self is concerned about identity so it seeks status symbols and other methods of conspicuous consumption.  We will discuss false self and identity later this week.  For now, let’s just accept that anytime we seek to purchase a status symbol we are acting from false self.

 

True self can purchase a status symbol and not do so from an attachment.  Let’s take a look at the example of buying a watch.  True self realizes that we need a watch in order to keep track of time.  It is important that when we make a commitment to be somewhere on time that we honor that commitment.

 

So we need a watch – which one should we buy?  If we look at simple functionality an inexpensive watch could be all that we need.  However, an inexpensive watch may not be durable enough.  True self recognizes that we will need to keep track of time for the rest of our lifetime.  Now we consider a more expensive and more durable watch.

 

Next, true self looks at the social situations that it will be in while wearing the watch.  If we will be in very formal situations then we will need a watch that is appropriate for those situations.  That would mean we now need a durable and handsomely decorated watch.

 

True self is also able to afford an upscale watch without financial hardship.  We have now worked ourselves into the territory of some watches that many people would consider as status symbols.  However, true self is viewing this in a pragmatic manner.  We need a watch.  The correct watch for our needs is considered a status symbol.  True self does not care about status symbols – it only cares about acquiring the correct watch.  If the correct watch had been a $10 throw away watch, that is what true self would have acquired, even if we could have afforded a $100 watch.

 

It is all about acquiring the correct tool for the job.  That is all true self cares about.  It has much more important things to be doing than caring about a bunch of attachments to physical objects.

 

We Do Not Have to Renounce Possessions

Many spiritual and religious disciplines teach that we should renounce or severely limit our physical possessions.  I do not see it that way.

 

My viewpoint is that we need to renounce our attachments to physical possessions and material things.  There is a big difference between renouncing having the objects and renouncing the attachments to the objects.

 

When we renounce possessing physical objects we do not address the underlying attachments.  We may renounce possessions except for just those few things we perceive that we need to live our life.  Two things happen because of this.

 

First, we may pass up some very important learning opportunities because we have renounced possessions.  If those learning opportunities require us to acquire some possessions then we will not be able to learn those lessons.

 

Second, we can still become very attached to the few objects remaining in our life.  Renouncing possessions has not worked because we still have false self attachments.

 

To me, the better approach is to learn to approach possessions and physical objects as true self.  We renounce our attachments, but recognize the importance that possessions and objects can have on the lessons we choose to learn.

 

Because we are not attached to the objects we do not care as the objects enter and leave our lives.  We are concentrating on our learning and the appropriate objects are always there.  Part of that learning is to know when and how to acquire the appropriate objects.

 

Well, that is all for today.  We will see you again tomorrow when we will start to take a look at some of the facets of false self identity.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Possessions vs. False Self

August 18, 2008

Welcome Back

Welcome back to our daily post.  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  The weather in this part of the world was fantastic this weekend.  On Saturday I helped a friend setup a couple of computers.  This allowed me to travel the back roads through some absolutely beautiful farmland that is just coming into a bountiful harvest season.

 

Are you ready to learn about a sensible approach to our possessions?  Let’s go!

 

False Self Attaches to Possessions

In an earlier post we looked at the idea that false self creates attachments to possessions.  Later we looked at how true self lets go of attachments to everything.  That post specifically looked at attachments to people, but all attachments are painful and true self avoids all attachments.

 

So, false self can be recognized when we notice an attachment to possessions or physical objects in general.  True self is happy all by itself and needs no attachments to possessions.  This begs the question “What is the best attitude towards possessions?”

 

What is the best way to view possessions?

In order to properly answer that question we need to look at the reason that we exist.  We have heard this several times on this site, but it always bears repeating:

 

The reason that we exist is to learn and grow and to share that learning and growth with each other.

 

That is all there is to life.  Our Creator gives us existence so that we can learn and then share that learning with each other.  As we learn and grow we use objects that our brothers and sisters have created while they were doing their own learning and growth.

 

Let’s take a closer look at how we bring objects into our lives.  How do we acquire stuff?  Let’s start with money.  We usually acquire money by trading our time and skills to someone.  They have a job that needs to be done and we have the time and skills to perform that job.  Some of us actually get money when we sell a product that we produce.  Some of us own a company that sells products and we get money from that company.  Some of us have invested money in items that give us money back for the money we have invested.

 

One way or another, the usual first step to acquiring possessions is to use money.  Now that we have some money what do we buy?  That is an interesting question.  To answer that we need to look at why we buy things.

 

We will address attachments to jobs and money at a later time.  For now please recognize that we create many attachments to both jobs and money.  Money should be viewed strictly as any other possession.  Attachments to jobs are part of our attachments to our identity.  We will discuss this later this week.

 

Why do we buy things?

Many of us spend a lot of our money to buy things because we are driven by our attachments.  We all know people who are driven to purchase things because of attachments.  This can be anything they buy from a house, to clothing, to a car.  They buy something in order to make themselves happy yet they remain unhappy.  Haven’t all of us done the same thing?

 

Yes – we need housing, clothing, and transportation.  Attachments cause us to buy the wrong house or pay the wrong price.  Attachments cause us to buy thirty pairs of shoes when we may only need eight or ten pair.  Attachments cause us to but the expensive sports car when the standard mass produced two door coupe is all we really need and can afford.

 

Hopefully we are getting a feel for the difference between buying something that we need and buying something that we want.  We need shoes.  We want thirty pairs, so we buy them.  We need a car.  We want the expensive sports car, so we buy it.

 

Possessions are tools

The best way to look at possessions and material stuff is to see them as tools.  We need a car.  We ask ourselves how we plan to use that car.  If we are in construction and need to transport materials we will need a pickup truck.  If we have a family then we may need a van or a sedan.  The best way to buy something is to look at how we will use that object and then we buy the best tool for the anticipated use.

 

And – we do not create attachments.  When we create an attachment to a possession or any other material thing we cease viewing it as a tool and start to see it as part of our self.  It is actually a part of false self because we know that true self needs no attachments.

 

Once we create the attachment then anything that happens to the possession happens to false self.  We come out of a store and find that someone scratched our car.  We take it personally as if someone had scratched us.  We get upset and have to tell everyone we meet during the rest of the day how much we were wronged because someone scratched our car.

 

If we had no attachment to the car, we would calmly realize that this is only a minor scratch and would not let it ruin our day.  After all, shouldn’t we have more important things to be doing than complaining to everyone we meet about a scratch in our car?

 

Let go of possessions

As we heard earlier, money is simply another possession.  Therefore we need to view it as another tool that we use for our learning and growth.  Because money as at the root of so much of our thinking we tend to create many attachments to it.  The more we can let go of those attachments the more clearly we will be able to see the proper role of money in our life.

 

A much happier way to deal with possessions and material things is to view them as tools.  We pick them up when we need them and we put them down when we are finished.  They have nothing to do with our true self.  Possessions and material objects are things that true self uses as it learns and grows.

 

That’s all for today.  Tomorrow we will take a closer look at how true self views possessions and material objects.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

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True Self is Always in the Moment

August 15, 2008

Today we will bring together the last two weeks of posts.  The reason why we want to be living from our true self is because true self is always in the moment.  But first…

 

Distribution Update

Last night’s email distribution was successful.  However, it appears that the paragraph formatting was lost.  Each paragraph appears as one long line.  I will continue to work on that.

 

It looks like the RSS feed is still irregular.  Sometimes it is showing as current and other times it shows as several days old.  I will continue to look into that.

 

Thankful Friday

On Fridays we spend a moment thanking people.  This week I want to thank our readers who have kept with the blog through the email distribution issues.  Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

 

This week I want to thank my regular Thursday “A Course in Miracles” study group.  For the past year and a half you have helped me understand my true self more clearly.  You have also offered me the opportunity to share what I understand and provided me a venue in which I could fine tune my explanation skills.  The weekly discussions are stimulating and thought provoking.  Thanks!

 

And as always, we thank WordPress for providing the free site for me to write and you to read.  Thanks WordPress!

 

And now, on to the daily post!

 

The Past Two Weeks

So, you are asking yourself why we have spent the last two weeks talking about true self and false self.  The simple answer is that when we can identify and externalize the false self behavior we are left with true self.

 

True self is the source of everything we want in life.  Our happiness can only come from true self.  Anytime that false self starts to feel happy it always becomes afraid of losing that happiness.  True self knows that happiness will never go anywhere.

 

Our self confidence also comes from true self.  False self sometimes thinks it is confident.  However, this is frequently an aggressive, “in your face type” of confidence.  False self tries to “prove” it is confident.  That is not true confidence.  True self knows that it is confident and does not need to prove it.

 

For the past two weeks I have been attempting to help us see the differences between false self and true self.  I have been attempting to encourage us to learn how true self behaves and for us to learn to start behaving in that manner.  I have been showing how false self behavior is always self destructive and encouraging us to stop behaving in that manner.

 

True Self is Always in the Moment

The idea of being in the moment is discussed in many spiritual and religious practices.  It is the reason that people are encouraged to meditate.  It is the basis of prayer.  It is the single most important behavior we can learn in this or any other lifetime.

 

Let’s put together what we have been saying for the past two weeks about understanding true self and how that relates to being in the moment.  Let’s start with observation.

 

All discussions about being in the moment touch on the idea of observing.  When we are in the moment we are watching what is going on in our lives.  It is kind of like we have a vantage point that is a few inches above and behind our head.  We watch what is going on but our thinking process is slightly disengaged.  We are participating in, but not confined to what is going on around us.

 

True self is that observer.  If you reread the postings of the last few weeks you will see that whenever we talk about how to recognize and overcome false self behavior we are talking about observing that behavior.  Then we reinforce by showing that this observation is coming from true self.

 

The reason for these explanations was to attempt to show us how we are frequently in the moment for very short periods of time.  When we are in the moment we see clearly.  We are calm.  We have no fears.  Then the chatter which comes from false self jumps in and we are out of the moment.

 

Learning to Stay in the Moment

We start to see that there are fleeting seconds when we are actually in the moment.  We start to recognize that we can be in the moment.  Now the task becomes to stay in the moment for longer and longer periods of time.  That is just a matter of practice.

 

Once again, I hope that you will reread the last two weeks of discussion about true self and false self.  There are many specific examples of behaviors that we all exhibit at one time or another.  Each behavior is pulled apart and analyzed from a true self and false self perspective.

 

We describe a false self behavior and suggest where it came from.  We show how to observe that behavior.  We reinforce the idea that by observing the behavior we are observing from true self.  We are learning to stay in the moment by practicing being true self.

 

As we have said several times, this observation period usually starts with a fleeting second or two that comes from our desire to find true peace and happiness.  Frequently we say to ourselves “There has to be a better way!”  By recognizing those fleeting seconds we gradually learn to be the observer for short periods of time.  Now it is a matter of learning how to become the observer for longer periods of time.

 

No one is saying any of this is easy.  Nor is anyone saying this is hard.  Each of us finds our own way to learn to be in the moment.  From my observations it usually happens when we become absolutely and completely tired of being unhappy.

 

Then there is a trigger of some sort that is an insight to our true happiness.  At that point we decide we are going to find our true happiness no matter what the cost.  Now nothing can stop us.  We can become distracted or delayed.  We can get caught back in the false self illusions.  But somewhere inside we remember our commitment to our true happiness and we become the observer again.

 

We continue on our path knowing that we are becoming happier by the day.  We know that no matter what happens we will always return to our path.  Now we have found our true self, our true happiness and we are in the moment.

 

That’s all for today.  Have a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


False Self Wants Life to be Fair

August 14, 2008

Distribution Update

It looks like we might have email distribution of the daily post working properly again.  I confess that I might have accidentally turned it off.  I definitely did change the format without realizing that I had done so.

 

I write the blog a day or two before it is posted.  Therefore the updates on the distribution may be slightly out of date.  On Wednesday morning I received the email containing that day’s post.  However it was in a “teaser” form.  I had unknowingly changed the distribution to be in this format.  I have since changed that back and hopefully today’s email distribution will be of the entire post.

 

If you missed any posts during the email distribution outage please go back and read those posts.  The discussion regarding true self/false self builds on the information from previous posts.  By not reading the other posts you might miss part of the entire explanation.

 

Sign up!  For a few days FeedBurner was not accepting new emails subscriptions.  If you were unable to sign up recently please click here to subscribe to the daily post.

 

Finally – there may still be a problem with the RSS feed being updated.  Right now the RSS feed seems to be about a week out of date and I cannot find a way to force it to update.  I am asking anyone else who is having any problems with the RSS feed to contact me so that I can research them.

 

Enough of that.  Let’s go to today’s post!

 

Life Isn’t Fair

I know – we all heard that as kids.  Did we agree with this idea then?  Do we agree with it now?

 

We have probably never agreed with the idea that life isn’t fair.  Why?  Where do we get the idea that life should be fair?

 

Hhmmm…  We have been talking about false self for almost two weeks.  Could it be that false self wants life to be fair?

 

We have talked about false self being the source of our unhappiness.  Doesn’t some form of unhappiness usually precede our insistence that life should be fair?  It would be a good guess that false self wants life to be fair.  But why?

 

When Life is Fair it is Easy

Remember that false self is composed mainly of fears and attachments.  It does not really like to think hard about things.  It wants things to be simple and readily apparent.  In our post about life being a journey we looked at the idea that false self wants life to be a formula.  A formula is easy to understand and follow.

 

In much the same way false self wants life to be fair.  It thinks that there is a formula that will bring fairness.  For example, “if I am fair to people then they should be fair to me.”  Another example would be “if I do a good job at work then I will keep my job and get raises.”

 

When false self follows some formula that it thinks will bring about fairness it is always disappointed.   It does a good job but loses its job anyway.  It is “fair” to other people but perceives that other people are not fair to it.  Then it takes these upsets personally and the downward spiral of happiness continues.

 

So if life is not fair, what is it?

 

Life Is What It Is

At first glance this seems to be either a flippant or simplistic answer.  Maybe it is both.  However, let’s take a look at it and attempt to understand it.

 

We will start with our post about why we exist.  I will summarize that post but it would be helpful if you read the entire post.

 

The reason that we exist is to learn and grow and then to share that learning and growth with those around us.

 

Believe it or not, that is all there is to life.  We touch upon that idea in greater detail in other posts on this blog so we will not spend much time on it right now.  When we start at the beginning many things become much easier to understand.

 

OK – so what does that have to do with “life is what it is?”

 

I was just getting to that.  If our main purpose in life is to learn, then if we live strictly by a formula then we drastically limit our opportunities to learn.  What do we learn if we perform tasks A, B, and C and always get result D?

 

If life is fair then all we have to do is be fair to other people and they will be fair to us.  This takes all the learning out because we think we know what it means to be fair.  “You don’t have to tell me what fair is, I already know that.”  Does that sound familiar?  That does not sound like a very open minded person, does it?

 

How can we learn when we are not open minded? We can’t.  When we are living life in a close minded way we are attempting to prove the truth of what we think we already know.  Once again, where is the new learning in that?

When we start to throw fears, attachments, self validation, and all those other marvelous characteristics of the false self into the mix, we see how we are closing off our learning opportunities.  We are trying to make life what we want it to be, and that never brings happiness.

 

It is far more satisfying to allow life to be what it is, approach it with the open mindedness of true self, and learn from the experience.  Our true self knows that life is whatever it is.  We know that true self wants to learn from whatever happens in life and therefore does not attempt to make it “fair” or otherwise fit into a formula.

 

When we recognize false self wanting life to be fair we must remember that once again we are true self observing the behavior of false self.  Tell false self that life isn’t fair – it is what it is.  Tell false self that true self knows what to do with this nebulous understanding of life.  Eventually false self will quiet down and start to trust true self.  Now we are on the path to finding our true happiness.

 

That’s all for today!  Please stop banging your head against the wall by trying to make life into something it cannot be.  As always, I want you to become at peace with yourself much sooner than I did.

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com