Denial Keeps Us From Healing

March 2, 2009

Last week I mentioned Jessica Unmani King several times.  I am still getting ideas for my writing from the interactions that I had with Unmani last week.  One of the ideas that was talked about in last Tuesday’s conference call was “denial energy does not allow us to heal”.  We look at that idea today.


Welcome back

I trust everyone had a safe and happy weekend.  It looks like the saying “March come in like a lion and goes out like a lamb” will be true in this part of the northeastern US.  It looks like we will start the month with about 12 inches of snow.  No complaints here, just the facts, ma’am.


What is denial?

The easiest way that I have found to explain denial is that we are not accepting the current situation.  When we are in denial we are saying to our selves, and sometimes to those around us, that we do not like the mess that we are in and want something else.


There is nothing wrong with the basic premise of that thought.  What is missed many times is that we do not want to look at the current situation – we just want to change it.  By not wanting to look at the current situation we are in denial of it.


It will happen again

One of the drawbacks from just changing the current situation – without fully accepting it – is that we will cause it to happen again.  When we wave the magic wand and make the situation go away without examining it, we never truly understand why and how we created the situation in the first place.  By not understanding those reasons we lose some very valuable lessons.


We can change the current situation all we want, but until we accept and understand the current situation we will eventually come back to it.  When we do not understand why we have created the current situation we cannot help but wind up back in the exact same spot in the future.


Denial keeps us from healing

This is why denial keeps us from healing.  When we are in denial we are not accepting the current situation.  We want to magically change the situation, so we wave our magic wand.  We magically change the situation, but two years down the road we are back in the same spot.


Let’s take a concrete example.  We are overweight.  We find a magic diet that allows us to lose that 50 pounds that we have wanted to lose for years.  However, by only changing our eating habits we did not look at the underlying anxiety that caused us to be overweight in the first place.


We were in denial of the anxiety.  We were afraid to look at them.  Eventually that anxiety was more powerful than the new found enthusiasm for the magic diet.  Eventually that anxiety edged out the change in habit that caused us to lose weight.  Now, two or three years later, we are back to our old weight because we were in denial of the true cause of our situation.


That is a relatively simple look at how denial keeps us from healing.  Hopefully you can sees how this works in your life.  As always, if you have a question or comment – please send it in so that our other readers can benefit from you thoughts.


Until tomorrow –


Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.




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