Keep Unraveling

January 30, 2009

This week we have talked in detail about baggage and attachments.  Today we take a last look at how important it is to keep unraveling our tapestry of attachments and letting go of our baggage.

 

Thankful Friday

As we always do on Friday we will give our thanks to those around us.  I want to thank my friend Judy for giving me the idea for the post yesterday.  I never know where the ideas will come from.  She came up with a really good one.

 

As always we thank WordPress and FeedBurner for making the free tools available that make publishing and distributing this site free to all concerned.  Thanks FeedBurner and WordPress!

 

If we are not unraveling we are knitting

Yesterday we visualized an interwoven tapestry of attachments.  We talked about how attachments get interconnected and woven into a tapestry.  We also stressed the importance of unraveling the tapestry.

 

The interesting thing is that if we are not unraveling the tapestry then we are knitting it.  In other words, until we learn to let go of our attachments and unravel the tapestry we are actually adding attachments.

 

This should seem logical.  All through our lifetime false self continues to build its false identity which is based on attachments.  Until we begin to see through the attachments we continue to add to the existing attachments.

 

Knitting and unraveling simultaneously

Another interesting phenomenon is that we can be both knitting and unraveling at the same time.  This occurs when we are just beginning to understand how to let go of attachments.  We may see some of our attachments in one area – like to possessions.  We have yet to see our attachments to people.

 

What happens is that we begin to unravel our tapestry where it concerns possessions.  But, we continue to create new attachments to the people who are in our life.  This is not a problem.  If you recognize that you are doing this congratulate yourself.  You have observed your behavior and now you can begin to change the behavior you have observed.  Remember – observation is always the first step towards any change.  Eventually you will unravel faster than you are knitting.  Just trust yourself.

 

How big is your tapestry?

I brought up this idea earlier this week.  Forgive me for repeating it, but I think it is important to end our discussion of baggage and attachments with it.

 

Have you ever noticed that many people get very unhappy as they get older?  That is because they are not unraveling their tapestry.  They have never learned just how devastating the interconnected attachments are.  Instead of unraveling their tapestry they have built a very large one.

 

It is never too late to learn true happiness by unraveling the tapestry.  How big is your tapestry?  Make a commitment to yourself that you will begin unraveling it right now.  Tell yourself that you no longer need the tapestry.  You have learned that happiness comes from your true self and the tapestry just gets in the way.

 

Have a great weekend!  Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

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A Tapestry of Attachments

January 29, 2009

I was talking with my friend Judy yesterday.  She asked me about what I had been writing for this blog.  I told her about the last few posts about baggage and attachments.  I also talked about how attachments are interconnected with each other.  She said “that is a tapestry of attachments.”  Today we look at that tapestry.

 

The interconnected attachments

Let’s take a look at how attachments can get interconnected.  This can happen in many ways.  We will look at one of the more common of those ways – the personal relationship.

 

Let’s say you are dating someone that you really like and want to marry.  You have such a crush on this person that you have a favorite song, a favorite TV show, a favorite place for dinner.  For you, your experience in the relationship is as identified with these additional things as it is with the person you are dating.

 

As it happens with many relationships, things fall apart.  You have become very attached to the person you were dating.  It may take a long time to get over that attachment.  As you get over the attachment to the person you start to recognize that you no longer want to go to dinner at that favorite place you had during the relationship.  Also, you no longer enjoy the favorite song or the TV show.  Whenever they come on you switch to something else.

 

The favorite place for dinner may be a very good restaurant with outstanding food.  You can no longer enjoy the food because of the interconnected attachment between that restaurant and you former relationship.  Does that make sense?  Not being able to enjoy a good meal because of a relationship that did not work out!  Or a great piece of music or a good TV show?

 

Unraveling the tapestry

We have talked about the pain of attachments in many of our posts.  We have shown how we do not experience true happiness until we begin to release our attachments.  When we look at the interconnected relationship of our attachments we are really talking about unraveling a tapestry of interconnected attachments.

 

To use our example from today – we have a relationship that does not work out and causes us pain.  I have chosen a few possible interconnected attachments that we may have developed during the relationship.  Each of us will have a different group of interconnected attachments – and there will probably be more than three or four in that group.

 

The trick is to see that they are interconnected and that they are keeping us from fully enjoying our life.  The interconnected attachments are keeping us from experiencing true happiness.

 

As we work on releasing a single attachment we do not necessarily have to work on the other attachments to which it is connected.  All we have to do is recognize that the attachments are connected to each other.  As we work through one attachment we begin on another in the tapestry.

 

Keep unraveling

At first it may not seem that we are getting anywhere.  That is because in the beginning we have so many attachments and they are so interconnected that progress may be hard to discern.

 

I urge you to keep working on the attachments.  Eventually you will see that you are making progress.  You will begin to see your tapestry of attachments beginning to unravel.  You will begin to experience true happiness from true self and that will become your motivation to continue to unravel the tapestry.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

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The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Bye Bye Baggage

January 28, 2009

We have looked at baggage for the last few days.  We have heard about where it comes from.  We have learned that we must accept the attachments before we can finally let go of the baggage.  Today we will go through the process of actually letting go of our baggage.

 

A brief look at letting go

It is quite a tall order to attempt to explain how to let go of attachments in a five hundred word post.  I will give it my best.

 

As we have discussed previously, we must first recognize that we do not want the attachments which make up our mental baggage.  This usually comes from the pain caused by those attachments.  We must get to a point that we see that we will achieve greater true happiness by letting go of our attachments.

 

It is like changing a habit

Once we have decided to let go of an attachment it takes a bit of practice to completely resolve it.  If you think about the fact that you have been holding on to the attachment for many years you will see that it has become a deeply ingrained habit.  It is said that it takes at least thirty days to change a habit.  Attachments take at least thirty days to resolve.

 

The first step in letting go of an attachment is to realize that it will take a few days to accomplish.  We are changing our thinking patterns and that will take a bit of time.  Also, we may still experience the pain of the attachment during this process.  Don’t let this stop you.  Realize that as long as you keep letting go of the attachment it will eventually leave.  When it leaves you will be one step closer to true happiness.

 

The mechanics of letting go

This may be the most difficult part to explain.  Everyone eventually develops their own technique.  I will share some things that have helped me.

 

For me, the most effective technique is to acknowledge the attachment when it causes me pain.  If I feel pain because I am in a relationship and am worried about being liked, I tell myself that it is not important if the other person likes me.  What is important is that I like myself.  As long as I like myself then it does not really matter if the other person likes me.

 

That piece of thinking has helped me to get out of relationships that were not healthy because I was sacrificing myself to be liked by someone else.  Over time I have learned to like myself and build much healthier relationships with people who also like themselves.

 

Another thought pattern that I have changed is my attitude towards money and possessions.  I used to equate my identity to money and possessions.  To change that attachment I started telling myself that my true self had nothing to do with money or possessions.  False self bases its identity on money and possessions.  True happiness comes from understanding the proper relationship with these things.  I would tell myself that true happiness comes from true self – not false self.

 

A process of repetition

For me, letting go of attachments has been a process of telling false self not to continue to hold on to the things that make us unhappy.  It is really a process of training false self to trust true self for true happiness.  If you keep at it long enough I guarantee that you will start to do the same for yourself.

 

I would very much like to hear your stories about letting go of attachments.  Please submit your comments and share how you have learned to walk the path towards true happiness.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2009 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Baggage

January 27, 2009

This is a paraphrase of a famous line from the movie “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.”  Yesterday we looked at how we create and accumulate mental baggage.  Today we will look at how to recognize and accept that same baggage.

 

Baggage equals attachments

Yesterday we showed how mental baggage comes from our attachments.  We learn to let go of our mental baggage in the same way learn to let go of our attachments.

 

In some earlier posts we wrote extensively about how to release attachments.  Today we will summarize the techniques we talked about earlier.  I strongly recommend that you look at the archives from August 2008 to learn more about attachments and how to get rid of them.

 

Accepting the attachment

I can sit here all day and tell you that you have an attachment and that it is causing you pain.  However, until you realize that you are in pain and that pain is coming from an attachment you will not do anything about the attachment.

 

Therefore, the first step in letting go of our baggage is to see that we are in pain.  This can be a difficult step for many of us.  Many of us are too embarrassed or too proud to admit that we are in pain.  This would mean that there is something “wrong” with our life.

 

Accepting the pain

Unfortunately the pain eventually becomes so great that we can no longer act as if there is nothing wrong.  We can no longer deny the pain because it keeps smacking us in the face.  The pain is so great that we say to ourselves that there must be a better way.

 

When we have reached the point that we admit that we are pain the next step is to accept that the pain comes from an attachment.  That seems so simple.  For many of us it is a very difficult step.

 

Accepting that the pain comes from an attachment means that we have to look at ourselves.  That means we have to take responsibility for the pain.  It also means that we can no longer blame someone or something else for our pain. 

 

Many of us find that hard to do – we want all of our problems to be caused by external situations.  That means that we do not have to look at ourselves for the answer.  Unfortunately, this state of denial only continues the pain.

 

By rolling up our sleeves and getting to work on our pain and attachments we learn that the answers are entirely in ourselves.  We see that we have chosen to be attached to ideas, people, and objects.  No one “made” us form these attachments.  We formed these attachments because we had not yet learned a better way.  Now we are learning a better way.  Now we can learn to let go of our existing attachments and hopefully keep from forming any new ones.

 

Tomorrow we will look at how to release those attachments.  Really – we don’t need no stinkin’ baggage.  Tomorrow we will see how to let it go.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

Subscribe

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2009 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Let Go of the Baggage!

January 26, 2009

Today we will look at baggage.  We will see how we accumulate mental baggage, why we keep it, and how to let go of it.  That is a large task for a five hundred word posting.  It may take several posts to get through this topic.

 

What is this baggage?

Mental baggage consists of all those thoughts, objects, and people to whom we have become attached.  It is a common misperception in our society that attachments are good.

 

We hear people talk about being attached to their pets, their children, their possessions, and many other things.  They think it is normal.  In truth, each attachment actually is very detrimental.

 

A short history of baggage

To go back in history a bit, the Romans used the word impedimenta to describe baggage.  This was usually used to describe all the things (baggage) that Roman soldiers had to carry with them during a military campaign.  Although useful and necessary, their baggage was an impediment to their ability to move quickly.

 

When we talk about mental baggage we are referring to the impediments that keep us from thinking clearly.  I place attachments of every type in the category of baggage.  If you would like to read more about attachments please go to a post we wrote about why attachments are painful.

 

So why do we accumulate baggage?

The primary reason that we accumulate mental baggage is that we never let go of anything.  Think about it.  Are you still carrying around a hurtful situation from when you were a child?  Maybe it is something that happened at school.  Maybe it is something that your parents did to you.

 

As long as you still feel hurt you have baggage.  The reason that you have baggage is that you have chosen to be attached to the hurt.  Think of some of the things that you “can never forgive someone for.”  Those are also attachments that are very deep.

 

We also wrote a post about a famous film director who held on to a grudge for many years.  Years after the person who had caused the supposed hurt had died, this man continued to harbor a grudge.  That is definitely baggage.

 

We also accumulate baggage through our attachments to things and people.  Please peruse the archives of this site for postings about those types of attachments.  In short, we can become attached to any thought, object, or person that we choose.  Those attachments become baggage.

 

Another unfortunate thing about baggage is that it accumulates as we get older.  If we never learn to let go of our baggage it can do nothing else.  It will not usually go away all by itself.  That is why so many people get bitter and unhappy as they get older.  They have accumulated a lifetime of impediments to clear thinking that keeps from being happy.

 

The good news is that we can learn to let go of the baggage at any age.  Tomorrow we begin to look at how to do that.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by FeedBurner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2009 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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There Is No Reason Not to be Happy

December 1, 2008

The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is no reason to be unhappy.  We create a lot of what we think are reasons to justify our unhappiness.  In the end these all boil down to a bunch of illusions.  Today we look at this idea.

 

Thanks to the Circle of Miracles

Yesterday I spoke at the Circle of Miracles in New Britain, PA.  I want to extend my thanks to Hannelore Goodwin and everyone there for being so accepting of me.  Everyone was so gracious and generous in their acceptance and openness to the topics that were presented.  I look forward to speaking there in the future whenever their schedule allows.

 

Why do we choose to be unhappy?

I have wondered about this question for a long time.  Sometimes I think I have an answer and at other times I am not so sure.

 

We have written extensively about happiness on this site.  True happiness comes from being in the moment.  When we are not in the moment we are acting from our false self.

 

As we know, false self is constructed from fear.  We can never be happy when we are fearful.  At best we can find a temporary relief from some of the fears which will provide a temporary appearance of happiness.  This cannot be a permanent and true happiness because the underlying fears are still there.  True happiness comes from the recognition that the false self will never bring happiness.  Consequently we quit seeking happiness from our false self.

 

But why is this so hard?

I know, I know, we have been across this ground many times before on this site.  However, it is still a very important question and it seems to warrant additional investigation.  My initial response is that we are attached to what we think happiness means.

 

By this I mean that we have a long list of things that we are conditioned to believe equate to happiness.  We can start with money, a big house and end with a fancy car, lots of vacations, and plenty of time to play golf.  Each of us has a false self that keeps a list of dozens of things that will make us happy.

 

What is the common thread that runs through all of these happiness making things?  They are all external and/or physical.  We think we will be happy because we have a relationship.  We are looking for happiness in an external circumstance (the relationship). We are also looking for our happiness from the other person in the relationship.  That is also looking for happiness externally.

 

It is pretty clear that things like money, a house, a car, and vacations are also external circumstances.  They are supposed to bring us happiness, but at best they bring us a temporary respite from our fears.  Why can’t we learn that these things are illusions?

 

The only reason that I have seen as to why it is so hard to let go of things is that we are so strongly attached to them.

 

It must be the attachments

We have dealt with attachments on this site before.  We will probably deal with them again.  They are so pervasive in our thinking it can be very difficult to learn to let go of all of them.

 

When we are children most of us are taught by parents who have attachments to the idea that external things will bring us happiness.  We are taught that birthday and Christmas presents will make us happy.  We are taught to find a good paying job that will make us happy.  We were taught that there were dozens of things that will make us happy – and we were taught to be attached to them.

 

It is the attachment that is the real problem.  The attachments mean that we have learned to identify with the possessions.  Through the attachment we think that the possessions become a part of us.  We are unhappy without the possession because it means that we are missing a piece of our self.  That is how strong the attachments become.

 

Everyone around us has the same attachments.  Does a fish know that it is swimming in water?  If everyone around us has the same attachments how can we finally realize that the attachments will never bring us happiness?

 

Hard knocks

Unfortunately, far too many of us never realize that the attachments are causing the unhappiness.  Most of us get glimpses that the attachments and the physical objects are not making us happy.  It ends with the glimpse because most of us do not know what to do after we get the glimpse.

 

What usually happens is that eventually we become so unhappy that we determine that there must be a better way.  We experience so much pain that we finally open ourselves up to another way to live our life.  This is where the spirituality comes in.  We finally begin to knowingly travel our spiritual path because it is too painful to continue as we were.

 

I hope that in the near future we will find another way for most of us to learn to travel our spiritual path.  I think that it is somewhat sad that we seem to find our spirituality as a last resort.  We try everything else and then we try spirituality.

 

Through our spirituality we find true happiness inside of us.  We learn to release our attachments because we learn to see the unhappiness they bring us.  Our spirituality becomes the most important thing in our life, not something we do when we have a few spare minutes.

 

We started this post by saying that there in no reason not to be happy.  We just have to learn to see through the illusions and excuses that come from our attachments.  We simply stop justifying our unhappiness.

 

If you have any ideas regarding how we can help each other to learn that spirituality should be our first priority please submit your comment.  Please let us know how you think we can help each other to stop finding spirituality as a last resort.

 

That is all for today.  Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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The Impossible Dream

September 12, 2008

Yesterday we looked at our hands as a metaphor for the internal conflict that can happen as we begin our spiritual growth.  Today we continue that metaphor and reach for the stars.  But first…

 

Thankful Friday

Our custom is to take a moment each Friday to thank those around us.  Today we thank the member of our Tuesday discussion group who has found the writings on this site to be helpful.  We hope that what is written here helps people.  This confirmation helps us to know that we are proceeding in a way that others find beneficial.

 

Next we would like to thank our new email subscribers.  We are experiencing a gradual growth in our subscriber list.  Anyone who would like to receive the daily update in their email can click here:  SUBSCRIBE

 

As always we end with thanks to WordPress and FeedBurner.  They provide the free tools that make this site possible.  Thanks!

 

The impossible dream

When I was growing up there was a Broadway show called “Man of La Mancha”.  It was made into a movie in 1972.  Unfortunately the movie was not as good as the original Broadway production, but it is what is available.

 

A few weeks ago I was watching this movie and realized that there could be a metaphor for the concepts of true self and false self contained therein.  You know these concepts – we talk about them all the time.

 

The more I watched the movie the more it seemed that Don Quixote was attempting to see through the illusions and deal with people as their true selves.  In the course of the movie he was portrayed as being crazy because he was substituting his attempt at clear sight for the illusions that those around him believed in.

 

Back in the day, one of the iconic songs from this movie was “The Impossible Dream.”  If you click on the link you will go to the lyric of the song.

 

As I listened to the song I realized that it was describing the quest upon which we embark when we seek our true happiness.  Let’s take a look at a few lyrics to illustrate this point:

 

“To fight the unbeatable foe” – is this the conflict between true self and false self?  False self wants us to believe it is dominant and that it will be in charge no matter what we do.

 

“To run where the brave dare not go” – what can be more brave than taking on our false self?  So many of the people around us just give in and accept false self.  Who are the brave few that take the risk of finding true self?

 

“To try when your arms are too weary” – those who find their true happiness are those who never give up.  No matter how tired they get they pursue their quest because they know that their true happiness depends on the outcome.

 

“That my heart will be peaceful and calm when I am laid to my rest” – to me this is obvious.  He knows that his happiness comes from the quest and that his peace and happiness are the result of that pursuit.

 

“And the world will be better for this” – he knows that those around him do not understand his quest.  He also knows that the world will be better because of his quest.  One person striving for their true happiness may inspire others.  The only choice is to persevere.

 

“The unreachable star” – life is a journey, not a destination.  We never reach a full understanding of our true self.  We reach for that star, but we never get there.  The journey is the reaching.

 

On the other hand

Ok – so what does all this have to do with yesterdays post “On the Other Hand”?  Remember how we talked about our right hand holding our new spiritual understandings?  Remember how we talked about the right hand pulling us towards our true self?

 

As I was thinking about that image I also saw the end of the movie, “Man of La Mancha.”  As the cast is singing “to reach the unreachable star” they have their hands raised over their heads.

 

The image I saw next was that we are all reaching for the unreachable star.  We all have our right hand raised above our heads and we are all being drawn forward on our quest for the impossible dream of finding our true happiness.

 

Can you see yourself doing this?  Right now, reach your right hand above your head.  See all of your dreams of true happiness in that right hand.  Now watch as your body reaches for true self.  Also notice that true self is pulling you up.

 

Now let go of what ever is in your left hand.  That is what is holding you back.  That is your unhappiness.  That is why you are getting torn.  True self is pulling you – false self is holding you back.

 

Let go and reach for that unreachable star.  You can do it.  I know you can.

 

Have a great weekend! Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by FeedBurner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com