Simplify Our Life – Possessional Baggage

September 30, 2008

We are working our way through some of the complications that come with our possessions.  Yesterday we heard about how attachments to both our ideas and our possessions take their toll.  Today we will look at how the fear of losing our possessions can bring us to a standstill.

 

Fear of loss

On August 18 we looked at the idea of false self and possessions.  In that post we linked to previous posts where we got a feel for how false self creates the original attachments.  I would recommend that you go back and read those posts in order to understand today’s post more clearly.

 

Our previous discussions of the basic nature of false self told us that false self is primarily something that is overwhelmed by its fears.  It develops attachments in order to quiet those fears.  It views those fears and attachments as its identity and will forcefully defend those fears and that identity.  It does the same with the possessions to which it is attached.

 

The false self views its possessions as part of its identity.  The possessions become part of who it thinks it is.  It thinks it is the clothes it wears, the car it drives, or the money it has.  Any loss of these possessions it views as a loss of a part of itself.  Therefore it feels very much wounded when there is even the slightest threat that it might lose any of these possessions.

 

The fear is the baggage

Think about this.  For every possession that comes from a false self attachment we have at least three issues to work through:

 

  1. As we discussed yesterday we have the underlying attachment that causes us to acquire the object in the first place.
  1. Yesterday we also discussed the fact that we also create an attachment to the possession that is similar to the attachment caused by the underlying attachment.
  1. We also have a fear of loss of the possession because we view that as fear of loss of a part of false self.

 

The fear usually becomes the heaviest baggage.  It is also the first thing that we see when we sense that we might lose a possession.  False self wants to protect itself first.  True, it does not want to let go of the attachments.  However, when a possession is threatened with loss, that fear of loss overrides anything that has to do with the attachments.  The fear of losing what it views as a part of itself is what causes extreme behavior.

 

The scratch in the car

We have used this analogy before, but it is quite appropriate.  Why does someone get so crazy when they find a small scratch in their car?  They view the car as a part of themselves and think that they were scratched along with their car.

 

Isn’t this senseless baggage?  We know that we were not scratched, but we cannot stop feeling violated by the scratch in the car.  We are attached to the car and therefore we think it is us.  With this kind of logic we cannot help but carry this baggage of fear.  If we feel this strongly about a scratch in the car, how will we feel if the car is stolen?

 

Look at your other large possessions

Our fear of loss extends to all of our other possessions.  Many times it is the large ones that can cause the greatest fears.  Things like our house and money can cause a great fear of loss.  Once again we experience this fear because we think that the money or the house are a part of false self.

 

And your small possessions

We can get possessive about the silliest objects.  Look at a young child who has become attached to a blanket or a stuffed animal.  They get upset when the object becomes lost because they have started to view that object as part of themselves.

 

Unfortunately, many of us continue this type of behavior as we grow older.  We can become attached to the silliest and smallest objects.  Our fear of loss of these objects is the same as the fear experienced by the young child.  For some strange reason we view the object as part of ourself and become fearful when we are threatened with losing it.

 

Simplify – let go of the baggage

Earlier in this post we saw that there are three basic issues surrounding our attachments to possessions.  These were: the underlying attachment, the attachment to the object, and the fear of losing the object.

 

The primary baggage is the fear of loss of the object.  This is the part we see first and most frequently.  This is a good place to start to let go of the baggage.  

 

When we see that we are fearful of the loss of a possession we remind ourself that the fear is baggage.  We may not understand the underlying attachment or the attachment to the object, but we can see the fear.  That is where we start.

 

It takes constant repetition.  Every time we see that we are fearful of losing an object we remind ourself to let go of the fear.  I have even gone as far as to visualize my hand grasping the object to illustrate the fear.  Then I visualize my hand letting go of the object to symbolize that I have let go of the baggage. 

 

Usually this took repeated visualizations, but over time I have trained myself to let go of many of my possessions.  Have I let go of all my possessions yet?  Probably not.  The important thing is that I am carrying less baggage than I was yesterday, last month, or last year.  The possessions cause fewer complications in my life.

 

I firmly believe that I am nothing special.  If I can learn this and create a happier and less complicated life – so can you.  The reason that I am writing this is in the hopes that you can learn to find your happiness as I have found mine.  A great part of my happiness came as I learned to let go of the baggage of possessions and found a way to live a more simplified life.

 

Finally, I implore you to find your happiness sooner than I found mine.  I wasted far too many years dragging my baggage around.  Please do not waste your time like I wasted mine.

 

That’s all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

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Don’t Dwell on What You Don’t Have

September 17, 2008

Today I will explain a very valuable technique that I use to clarify my thinking.  When I need to attain something it is easy to say “if I only had…” as a means of resolving the issue.  Today we will look at a positive way to use the perspective of our true self to attain an objective.

 

Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

Taking inventory

Have you ever noticed that when you want to achieve or attain something you get discouraged?  There are many reasons that cause this discouragement.  Today we will look at one, and hopefully start to learn to overcome it.

 

Watch your thinking process the next time you decide to do something difficult.  See if this happens to you.

 

Let’s say we deicide to buy a car.  For some of us this may be a simple process.  For others this can be a daunting task.  False self may immediately start taking inventory.  However, watch the inventory that false self discovers.

 

It will come up with things like you don’t have enough money for the down payment, you don’t have enough money for the monthly payment, and you don’t have enough money for the insurance.  The problem is that you haven’t even decided on which car you want.  False self has already given you a bunch of “problems” that you have to overcome.  You don’t want this inventory.

 

False self gives us more unwanted inventory as we proceed down the path of getting a car.  How long will we have to wait for the car?  Do they have it in our favorite color?

 

Those are borderline negatives.  However, one of the ones false self is sure of is that we have to buy a used car.  False self cannot stand the loss through depreciation that happens to a new car.

 

True self looks for ways to accomplish

When we take a look at the false self inventory described in the previous section we find that the items are mostly ways to keep from accomplishing our goal of buying a car.  For some reason that I do not understand, false self is always looking for the ways that we “can’t” get something done.

 

We can’t buy a car because we don’t have the money.  We can’t buy a car because they do not have it in our favorite color.  We can’t buy a new car because we will lose “a lot of money” through depreciation.

True self is not interested in the ways that something “can’t” be done.  We know that there are infinitely more ways that something “can’t” be done then there are ways to do something.  True self concentrates only on the ways to do something.  There is no need to waste our time convincing ourselves with reasons that do not lead towards our goal.

 

Let’s apply that idea to the false self inventory we created about buying a car.  Before we have even chosen a car false self thinks it does not have enough money.  It uses three ways to convince itself – money for the monthly payment, the down payment, and the insurance.

 

True self lumps all the money issues together and looks at them as one issue with three separate parts.  True self waits until after we have chosen and negotiated for the car to look at the money because the specifics are not available until that point.

 

False self is worried about the availability and the color of the car.  True self does not care that much about these “problems”.  True self knows that if there is one car that is the best solution, then waiting for that car to be available is appropriate.  True self may be able to live with a less than optimal color.  However, if the only color choices are absolutely hideous, then true self realizes that this just was not the appropriate car and continues the search process.

 

Finally, true self is not that concerned about losing money by the depreciation that happens when we drive a new car off the lot.  True self may prefer to pay the extra in advance so we can control the mechanical condition of the car. 

 

True self knows that the expensive things like engine, brake, and transmission repairs can be controlled through careful driving.  True self may prefer to control the way the car is operated than to take a chance on the unknown history of a used car.  True self may look at the big picture and decide that we will save on repairs later if we buy a new car now and then maintain it properly.

 

Use this skill

Remember to look at what you do have, not what you don’t have.  I cannot stress to you how important it is to learn this skill and use it in your daily life.  This could be one of the easiest ways to learn to have true self influence many aspects of your life.  As a project manager in the corporate world I used this concept to simplify my tasks.

 

I could accomplish a lot more than my fellow managers because I spent very little time on ideas that did not lead to our goals.  When I ran meetings I would not let the conversation turn to how we “can’t do it” or what we “didn’t have.”  I would turn the discussion towards what we did have and what we could do.

 

Try this technique for a few months.  I think you will see that it can make a difference in your attitude.  For an in depth discussion about how false self views possessions and how true self uses possessions please read the blog entries for August 18 and August 19 of 2008.

 

That’s all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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False Self is an “It”

August 29, 2008

Thankful Friday

Our regular readers will remember that every Friday we start our post by expressing our gratitude to those around us.  This week I want to thank several of our readers for their feedback and suggestions about ideas they want to explore.  Thanks for the feedback and please keep it coming.

 

We also had a few email exchanges this week that were very thoughtful.  I appreciate all of our readers who took the time to write me this week.  Now, if we could only get these dialogs moved to comments on the blog where everyone can participate and benefit…

 

Our final thank you for the week goes to our new readers.  The number of hits on the site went up this week as did our email subscriber count.  As always we close with our appreciation to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free services that make this possible.

 

Housekeeping

Monday, September 1st is the Labor Day holiday in the United States.  I will be taking the day off.  The next post will be Tuesday, September 2nd.  Have a great weekend.

 

False self is an “it”

As you have been reading this blog over the last few weeks we have discussed the concepts of true self and false self at great length.  If you look carefully, I have always referred to false self as “it”.  Today I will discuss the reasons why I use this type of reference.

 

We identify with false self easily

One of the aspects of false self that was discussed several times recently is the idea that it is created for each lifetime.  Every time we reincarnate we create a new false self.  Our true self is the source of all of our knowledge and learning.  Why should we treat false self as a part of ourselves?

 

False self is temporary.  False self is just a physical tool which we use for a lifetime.  We do not take any of our possessions with us when we die.  Why should we take our false self?

 

We have repeated many times that all of our unhappiness, fears, possessiveness, anger, etc. come from false self.  Why would true self want to take that with us after we complete the lifetime?

 

Over the last few weeks we have looked extensively at the reasons why we are so attached to our false self identity.  For all those reasons and many more I always attempt to portray false self as something that is external to false self.  I always attempt to take away any identification with false self.

 

False self is external to true self.  False self is not “me”.  False self is not “us”.  False self is an “it”.  That “it” is not part of us, true self.

 

View false self as external

There are some religious and spiritual teachings and practices that do not make this clear distinction about false self.  If there is one thing that I hope to get across in the body of my writing it is this:

 

False self is not part of me – true self.  False self is merely an external tool that true self uses during a single lifetime.  The more I view false self as external to me the easier I recognize my true self.

 

It is so easy to think that false self is a part of true self.  We have spent several weeks looking at the reasons for this.  Everyone else around us views false self as their identity.  It is very difficult not to do the same.

 

The bottom line is our happiness.  I have learned that there is nothing more important in this world right now than for all of us to find and understand their true happiness.  We began our entire month of discussions on this subject by showing that happiness comes from true self.

 

The vast majority of the world is looking for their happiness from and within their false self.  We have mentioned numerous times that happiness comes internally from true self.  If false self is external to true self, how are we ever going to find happiness through false self?

 

Once again, the more that we can view false self as something which we created this lifetime, the more we will be able to view it as external to true self.  The more we can see that the unhappiness, anger, violence, and fears as part of the false self identity the easier it will be to externalize false self.

 

Have a great weekend

That is all for today, this week, and this month.  Once again, we will not be posting on Monday.  Our next post will be Tuesday, September 2nd.

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Until Tuesday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

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Email

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Summarizing the False Self

August 22, 2008

Thankful Friday

As always, we will take a moment and thank those around us for their work and assistance.  Our first thank you goes out to the imsezha who have provided such wonderful weather for the last two weeks.  The weather this month in this area of the northeast US has been close to perfect.  (If you want to know who the imsezha are post a comment asking the question.)

 

Our second thanks goes to our readers.  Thank you for taking the time to read this site on a regular basis.  Our final thanks goes to WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free tools that make this site possible.  Thanks!

 

What is the false self?

For the past few weeks we have taken a very detailed look at the concepts of true self and false self.  Today we are going to summarize the major characteristic of the false self and how it functions.  Our hope is that the more we recognize false self the more we will recognize the pain that comes from living in the false self identity.

 

We have learned that false self begins to be created as soon as we are born.  It knows it is supposed to be trained by true self.  True self is our nonphysical self that is the repository for everything we have ever learned.  At the beginning of each lifetime it is supposed to take charge and train false self to be the eyes and ears for true self during the lifetime.  True self is supposed to make all the decisions, not false self.

 

On this planet we do not do this with our infants.  The parents do not understand what true self is, so they allow the false self to take charge.  False self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge and begins to form its identity based on this fear of being alone and being in charge.

 

False Self Forms Attachments

False self in an infant is supposed to look to true self for guidance and its identity.  Because we do not train our infants to listen to true self our infants begin to take their false self identity from the physical objects around them.

 

The initial attachments that an infant forms are to their body and to those people around it.  Gradually the infant begins to form attachments to their thoughts and ideas.

 

By the time the child is about seven years old these initial attachments are set strongly enough that they will govern the child’s behavior for the rest of their life – or until they learn to retrain the false self.  There are times when true self steps in and says that we can rid ourselves of an attachment or a fear, and we do so.  However these times are relatively few and far between.

 

A Tangled Web of Fears and Attachments

As we have just seen, false self begins to form its identity from the fear that it knows that it is not supposed to be in charge of the lifetime.  It has not understood that true self is supposed to make the decisions.  It has also not been trained to listen to true self for guidance.  It becomes very fearful when it comes to the conclusion that it will have to operate alone for the lifetime.

 

In order to quell that base fear false self begins to create an identity based on attachments to the things around it.  As the child gets older these attachments become the source of the false self identity.

 

The false self identity is now made of such attachments as its clothing, its automobile, its body, its nationality, its religion, and many more.  Because the false self has yet to understand that true self is always available it believes that it is actually all these attachments.

 

The additional fears come from the perceived questioning or injuring of any of the attachments.  False self identifies with its automobile.  If someone scratches that automobile, then false self perceives that it has been scratched.  False self identifies with its religious beliefs.  If someone appears to question those religious beliefs, false self views this as its identity being questioned.

 

Frequently when the false self identity is injured or questioned false self thinks it has to defend or attack in order to protect that identity.  If someone questions its political views, false self thinks it has to lash out at that someone to defend its identity.  If false self thinks someone is going to take its possessions, it attacks in order to protect those possessions and therefore its identity.

 

The Difficulty of Retraining False Self

Ok – so we are starting to see where our unhappiness comes from.  Our false self is attached to all kinds of objects, people, and thoughts that it thinks create its identity.  We spend most of our lives acting out the fears that false self experiences because it is protecting its false self identity.  We know we are unhappy.  Why can’t we learn to become happy?

 

The reason why it takes awhile to learn to be happy is that false self is resisting us at every turn.  As we start to listen to and understand our true self we also start to question the false self identity.  We start to see the fears and attachments for what they are – our source of unhappiness.

 

Initially false self does not know whether or not it can trust true self.  False self has been running things for many years and has become quite afraid of anyone or anything questioning its fears and attachments.  It has spent the entire lifetime defending those fears and attachments.  It does not like true self questioning its identity.

 

We retrain false self by continuously facing its fears and attachments.  We learn to listen to true self and the quiet little voice that will not submit to those fears and attachments.  That quiet little voice eventually convinces false self that true self understands what is going on and can be trusted.

 

Although we can have great insights and make large advancements in a single step, the typical path is one of small but frequent steps.  We see a small fear and conquer it.  We see a small attachment and let it go.  We make the small steps as we see them, but do not wait for the big steps.  Those will happen, but they will happen in their own time when we least expect them.  The gradual daily progress is what will bring us closer to our true happiness.

 

That is all for today.  I hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

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Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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Understanding More of the False Self Identity

August 21, 2008

Recap

Yesterday we started to get a sense for how the false self builds its identity.  We discussed how this identity is built from attachments.  Finally we touched on a few of the external things that false self uses to create its false identity.

 

Today we will continue the list of things false self thinks we are but true self knows that we are not.  Let’s go!

 

The List Continues

Yesterday we ended the daily post with a few of the external situations that false self uses to construct its false identity.  Here are a few more things that you are not:

 

You are not your car.  Yesterday we discussed the idea of you are not your possessions.  We also looked at the idea that you are not your clothes.  Another common thing that we think we are is our car.

 

We do not literally think we are something with four wheels and an engine.  We are attached to the image that the car gives us.  If you think about the example from yesterday about clothes, many of us approach our automobiles in the same manner.

 

A car is something that is external that can project an image.  Like becoming attached to the image clothing gives us, we become attached to the image the car gives us.  Then we transfer that attachment from the image to the car and we start to create a false identity based on our car.  As with any attachment this will eventually lead to unhappiness.

 

You are not your political party.  This one is an example of being attached to our thoughts.  We have discussed the general idea of attachment to thoughts elsewhere on this site.  Now it is time to take a closer look at some specific thoughts and ideas to which we develop attachments.

 

Many of us choose a political party that we feel represents our view point.  That is as it should be.  When we develop an attachment to that party and incorporate that attachment as a part of our identity we have doomed ourselves to unhappiness.

 

When we say “I am a Republican”, or “I am a Democrat” we are most likely showing an attachment to our political party.  We can be just as attached to being an independent.  Once again it is not the favoring of a political party; it is creating an attachment to the idea of being a member of that party and incorporating that attachment into our false identity.

 

You are not your religious beliefs.  Just like the example of attaching to a political affiliation, we do the same thing with our religious beliefs.  We determine which religion we agree with and then attach to that religion.  Next we view that attachment as part of our false self identity.

 

It is not the decision to choose a religion that creates the false self identity.  It is the choice to create an attachment that creates the false self identity.

 

Like other attachments, false self feels it is being threatened when anyone questions the object of the attachment.  In this case, when false self is questioned about its religious beliefs it feels the need to defend or attack the source of the question.

 

When we think about this last statement it explains the source of most of the conflict in the world for most of known history.  One group is threatened because another group either questions or will not accept their religious beliefs.  The attachment to those beliefs causes them to attack those who don’t share the same belief.  And on it goes.

 

You are not your age.  Another common attachment is to our age.  This one is a combination of attachment to our body and attachment to our thoughts.

 

We have preconceived ideas of how we are supposed to behave, look, and feel when we are certain ages.  We turn those preconceived ideas into attachments.  Those attachments become a part of our false self identity and we become trapped by our preconceived ideas of what being a certain age means.

 

You are not who people tell you to be.  All of our lives we are told by the people around us who or what we should be.  Our parents tell us to be a doctor, lawyer, etc.  Our siblings tell us who we should be.  Our spouse tells us who we should be.  Our co-workers tell us who we should be.  After we receive all this input is it any wonder we have no idea who we are?

 

Along the way we attempt to be what other people tell us we should be.  Sometime we do this to make them happy.  Last month we learned that we can never make someone happy.  After awhile many of us quit trying to be what others tell us to be.

 

However, many times we do not release the attachments that we developed while we were trying to be what others wanted us to be.  Please review what others have told you to be and see if that is who you really want to be.  Don’t worry; you won’t lose anything except your false identity.

 

You are not your child or spouse.  Many of us develop a false sense of identity from our attachments to our spouse or children.  This can come out in many different ways.  Let’s take a look at two examples.

 

We all know about parents who get overly involved in the sport activities of their children.  We have all heard of or witnessed parents who behave very aggressively towards coaches or referees who “are not treating their child properly”.

 

All that is happening here is that the parent is so attached to the behavior of the child that they view the child as themselves.  Their false self perceives anything that happens to the child as happening to itself and must defend or attack any hurt to the child as if false self were being hurt.

 

We have all heard of or experienced someone who will not let their spouse say or do something “because it embarrasses me.”  This behavior comes from an attachment to the spouse where the spouse’s behavior is viewed as part of the false self identity.  Just like the previous example, the false self identity is defending itself from a perceived injury.

 

You are not your job.  Finally, we are not our job.  How many of us have created a false self identity surrounding our job.  I am truck driver so I must do the following things.  I am a doctor so I must have a certain type of house or car.

 

Hopefully after all these examples we are starting to see through some of these false self identities.  A doctor can have any car or house that that fits the way they want to live.  A truck driver can behave in many ways that their fellow truck drivers might not understand.

 

Our job is just what we are doing right now.  For some of us it may be part of what our true self wants to accomplish during this lifetime.  For most of us it is what we are doing to make money.  Either way, it is not part of our identity.  It is just what we do with our time.

 

If we really are accomplishing goals determined by true self and lost our job, true self would not care.  We know that we can find another way to accomplish those goals.  We know that by losing one job we might very well find a better way to accomplish those goals.

 

That’s all for today.  Please start to look at your false self identity and begin to see how living in that false identity has been painful.  There is no reason to live an unhappy life.  Please choose to live a happy life.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com


Understanding the False Self Identity – part 1

August 20, 2008

Housekeeping

My apologies that yesterdays post went out late.  When I uploaded the post I filed it as a draft.  I should have published it.  I will endeavor to publish correctly in the future.  Also, I am still resolving the issue with the daily update emails that shows each paragraph as one long line.  I will keep looking into that issue until I get it resolved.

 

Today we are going to start to look at how false self develops its identity.  Are you ready?  Here we go!

 

False Self Should Not Have an Identity

As we have discussed this idea of false self, we have gotten a feeling for the nature of the false self.  In our discussion on the origin of false self we talked about how we are supposed to train our false self to listen to true self.  False self is designed to be the physical interface for true self and nothing more.

 

Because we do not train false self properly it begins to take on an identity from its surroundings.  By the time it is about age seven it has developed a very clearly defined idea of who it thinks it is supposed to be.  It is also very attached to that self created identity.

 

Unless we learn to see through this false self identity as we grow older we continue to accept the identity and the attachments.  As we grow older we continue to add items to that identity.  Because we have not learned better, we also continue to create attachments to the new additions to our identity.  Of itself, the identity is not that much of a problem.  The real problem is the attachments.  Without the attachments the false self identity gradually fades away.  In fact that is how we eventually rid ourselves of it – we let go of the attachments.

 

None of this should happen.  False self should be trained to look to true self for identity.  Some of us start to look for a better way because our false self identity has finally become so painful that we cannot live in it any longer.  During the next few days we will look at how to identify the false self identity and gradually ease our pain and unhappiness.

 

How False Self Constructs Its Identity

When we talked about how fear comes from false self, we also mentioned how false self begins to develop it false identity.  As a young and improperly trained mind false self creates attachments to the items it finds around it.  It attaches to its body, its thoughts and the people around it.  It begins to weave these attachments into the beginning of its false identity.

 

As it grows older it begins to find other external things that it can weave into its false identity.  It might pick a political party to identify with.  It might pick a religion or ethnic group to identify with.  It might view its job as a part of its identity.  Pick an external situation or object and some false self probably views it as part of its identity.

 

Elsewhere on this site we have heard about how false self views any challenge to its attachments as a challenge to itself.  Think about this for a minute.  If false self thinks that it really is all these situations to which it is attached, then it has no choice but to defend itself when those situations or attachments are questioned.

 

By questioning the situations or attachments you are questioning the identity of false self.  It thinks that it has to defend or even attack when questioned or else it will lose its identity.  It does not see that the identity is based on improper understanding.  All it knows is that it is being questioned and must defend or attack.

 

This is the source of the pain that comes when we live within this false self identity.  We are always defending or attacking in order to protect our false identity.  After awhile this becomes wearisome and many of us seek a better way to live.

 

A Few Things You Are Not

False self probably has hundreds of external situations that it thinks collectively create its identity.  I would be writing for years if I tried to list them all.  Instead we will start with a few today and continue the list tomorrow.

 

You are not our body.  True self knows that this body is only temporary and will exist only for the current lifetime.  False self is encouraged by those around it to view its body as an integral part of its identity.  Any injury to the body becomes an injury to false self which causes continuous pain and suffering.

 

You are not your opinions.  False self is constantly looking for something to help create its false identity.  Thoughts are very handy because they are always close at hand.  False self creates opinions on everything and then attaches to those opinions.  False self takes those attachments and adds them to the false identity.

 

You are not your possessions.  False self takes anything close at hand and attaches to it and then adds those attachments to its false identity.  Possessions are always nearby so they are easily added to the false self.  Like any other attachment false self sees loss of or damage to a possession as damage to itself.  Once again we see another continuous source of pain caused by false self.

 

You are not your clothes.  This is a variation on the idea of you are not your possessions.  I will mention it because many of us acquire clothes for the purpose of creating an “image”.  That “image” usually originates from false self looking to create or project its false identity.  We become unhappy if we do not have the right clothes to project this “image”.  We also become unhappy if this “image” does not make us happy.  That is a bit of circular logic, but false self does not care about logic.  It just goes and acquires some new clothes which it will use to project its “new image”.  And of course it will become unhappy with this “new image” and will have to create another “new image”.  And on it goes until we become tired of the pain.

 

That’s it for today.  Tomorrow we will look at more things that false thinks we are and true self knows we are not.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

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How True Self Uses Possessions

August 19, 2008

How True Self Uses Possessions

 

Recap

Yesterday we looked at how false self attaches itself to possessions.  We heard about the way false self feels hurt when one of our possessions is damaged.  We also started to get a feeling for the idea that we should view possessions as tools that we use while we are learning and growing.

 

Today we will take a closer look at how true self uses possessions.  Are you ready?  Let’s go!

 

True Self for Our Learning

We have seen how false self wants to attach to many things, especially possessions.  True self is happy and self contained.  When we are being our true self we realize that objects and possessions are temporary.  They come into our lives when we need them and we should not get upset when they leave our lives.

 

True self views all objects as tools which it needs to do its job.  What is that job?  As we have stated many times on this site – we exist to learn and grow and share that learning and growth with each other.  So the job of our true self is to continue to learn and grow.

 

True self evaluates all objects and possessions in the light of what it needs to learn and grow.  When an object is no longer needed for our learning true self does not care if it leaves our life – true self just allows that object to leave.  We will not hang on to the object because of attachment.  We will maintain possession only if we anticipate needing that object.

 

True self does not care if an unneeded object leaves our possession.  True self views this as one less thing we have to look after.  True self also knows that if an object leaves our possession and we need it again – then we will acquire it again.

 

At first this might seem like a lot of work.  First we acquire something and then we let it go.  Then we acquire it again.  However, once the object has ceased to be useful, how can we know if we are going to ever need it again?  I view that the work required to maintain the object “just in case” is usually far more work than letting it go and then getting it back again.  If we let it go and then get it back we might get a better one back or one that is more suited for the task.

 

Also, the fewer possessions we have the more simple our life becomes.  The more simple our life becomes the more time we have to concentrate on our real job of learning and sharing that learning.

 

True Self and Status Symbols

Status symbols are just another way to describe attachments.  A status symbol is supposed to convey a certain image about the person who possesses the status symbol.  False self is concerned about identity so it seeks status symbols and other methods of conspicuous consumption.  We will discuss false self and identity later this week.  For now, let’s just accept that anytime we seek to purchase a status symbol we are acting from false self.

 

True self can purchase a status symbol and not do so from an attachment.  Let’s take a look at the example of buying a watch.  True self realizes that we need a watch in order to keep track of time.  It is important that when we make a commitment to be somewhere on time that we honor that commitment.

 

So we need a watch – which one should we buy?  If we look at simple functionality an inexpensive watch could be all that we need.  However, an inexpensive watch may not be durable enough.  True self recognizes that we will need to keep track of time for the rest of our lifetime.  Now we consider a more expensive and more durable watch.

 

Next, true self looks at the social situations that it will be in while wearing the watch.  If we will be in very formal situations then we will need a watch that is appropriate for those situations.  That would mean we now need a durable and handsomely decorated watch.

 

True self is also able to afford an upscale watch without financial hardship.  We have now worked ourselves into the territory of some watches that many people would consider as status symbols.  However, true self is viewing this in a pragmatic manner.  We need a watch.  The correct watch for our needs is considered a status symbol.  True self does not care about status symbols – it only cares about acquiring the correct watch.  If the correct watch had been a $10 throw away watch, that is what true self would have acquired, even if we could have afforded a $100 watch.

 

It is all about acquiring the correct tool for the job.  That is all true self cares about.  It has much more important things to be doing than caring about a bunch of attachments to physical objects.

 

We Do Not Have to Renounce Possessions

Many spiritual and religious disciplines teach that we should renounce or severely limit our physical possessions.  I do not see it that way.

 

My viewpoint is that we need to renounce our attachments to physical possessions and material things.  There is a big difference between renouncing having the objects and renouncing the attachments to the objects.

 

When we renounce possessing physical objects we do not address the underlying attachments.  We may renounce possessions except for just those few things we perceive that we need to live our life.  Two things happen because of this.

 

First, we may pass up some very important learning opportunities because we have renounced possessions.  If those learning opportunities require us to acquire some possessions then we will not be able to learn those lessons.

 

Second, we can still become very attached to the few objects remaining in our life.  Renouncing possessions has not worked because we still have false self attachments.

 

To me, the better approach is to learn to approach possessions and physical objects as true self.  We renounce our attachments, but recognize the importance that possessions and objects can have on the lessons we choose to learn.

 

Because we are not attached to the objects we do not care as the objects enter and leave our lives.  We are concentrating on our learning and the appropriate objects are always there.  Part of that learning is to know when and how to acquire the appropriate objects.

 

Well, that is all for today.  We will see you again tomorrow when we will start to take a look at some of the facets of false self identity.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

We do not want this blog to be a fountain of words from one view point.  We welcome comments and questions.  Please feel free to ask a question or make a comment when the mood strikes you.

 

WordPress forces all comments to be moderated.  We usually check for comments at least twice a day.  So do not be surprised if it takes a few hours for you to see your comment.

 

Talk to us!  Post a comment or a question!

 

Subscribe

 

Don’t miss any updates.  Get daily posts by email.  Subscribe to this blog by clicking here: SUBSCRIBE

 

This email list is maintained by Feedburner, a subsidiary of Google.  I hate to receive spam and advertisements in my email.  I will never sell your email address for such purposes.

 

Email

You can email us directly at:  noahnow@yahoo.com

 

Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

noahnow@yahoo.com