Wanting Control Keeps Us from Getting It

We all want to control things.  It seems natural – if I want a happy life then I must control the things in that life.  We set out to control the things in our life and the only thing we find is unhappiness.  Today we look at the counterintuitive nature of control.


Control means we feel inferior

This may seem like an unusual idea, but let’s take a look at it.  When we want to control something it means that we think that something can harm or in some way overcome us.  In order to protect ourselves we think we have to control the things that threaten us.


In some of our previous writings we explained that when we feel inferior we are acting from our false self.  It (false self) feels inferior so it thinks it must act in some way to protect itself.


True self does not act in this way.  When we act from our true self we know that everything in our life is a learning opportunity.  True self does not view anything with fear or as a threat.


True self recognizes that if we need to change something in our life all we have to do is learn how to make that change.  That change may take a long time and it may require a great deal of learning.  However, this does not bother true self.  True self is in it for the long haul.  When we act from true self we are committed to learning whatever necessary to improve our lives.


Wanting control keeps us from getting it

Now we get to the premise of our post.  By wanting to control things we are acting from false self.  Therefore we are coming from a place of rear rather than confidence.


Sometimes we think we are controlling things when we act from false self.  In actuality we are forcing things.  There is a difference.  When we force things false self is saying that it knows how things should be.  It is forcing its fearful outlook on the things in our life and the world in general.


Forcing things never achieves our objective.  They always blow up – because they were forced to be something that they should never have been in the first place.  False self is happy temporarily when it has successfully forced something.  Later, false self is unhappy when those things that it forced revert to their natural state.


Forcing things always pushes them away from us.  In the same way, wanting to control things keeps us from being able to do so.


What we can “control”

In the end, all we can really control is our self.  The way we control our self is to stay in the moment and act from true self.  When we are in the moment we are open to the learning that is presented in that situation.  When we are in the moment we learn from that situation and have no need to control or force it.


At the end of the day, the only thing we can control is our self.  When we maintain control of our self we also maintain control of the situation.  Practice staying in the moment and controlling your self – I guarantee that you will be much happier.


Until tomorrow –


Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.




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