The common use of the concept of Zen is that we do something without “really” doing it. In that sense we will look at the idea of how to keep score without really paying so close attention to the score that we take ourselves out of the moment.
I hope that everyone had a happy and safe weekend. This part of the northeastern US was very cold (for us) on Friday and Saturday. I hope that wherever you were that you managed to stay warm.
It’s in the balance
We have been talking about the idea of keeping score for a couple of days now. We have seen that it can take us out of the moment and complicate our relationships. The question is “How do we keep score appropriately?”
What I have found as the answer to that question is to understand the concept of balance. When we are operating from our false self we think that the balance needs to be completely in our favor. Remember – false self is very fearful. It gets very upset when the balance appears to be anything but favorable to what it thinks the balance should be.
As we learn to operate more from our true self we learn that the balance can be shifted so that we share much more completely with those around us. True self is always in the moment and does not care about who is giving and who is taking on an immediate basis.
True self recognizes that all situations and relationships ebb and flow. Sometimes one is putting more in than they are taking. Other times we need to take a bit more than we give.
True self looks for two things when we decide it is time to “keep score.” First – we look at the sense of balance. Over time does the balance seem to be appropriate? Although the balance may be off at times or imbalances may persist for awhile, do things usually get back to a balance?
Second – true self looks at the intentions and actions of those concerned. Does everyone sincerely want to keep things balanced and moving forward? Is everyone taking what actions they can to work towards keeping things in balance?
These are very subjective questions. When we are in the moment the correct answers always come when we ask these questions. Also, this idea of balance takes a bit of practice. It goes hand in hand with learning to be in the moment. The more we are in the moment the more we are able to keep score without “really” keeping score.
Tomorrow will be more practical
Today we were a little on the theoretical side. Tomorrow we will conclude our series about keeping score with a discussion that is a little more practical.
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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