I have found that one of the things that keeps me from being in the moment is when I keep score. Today we take a look at why keeping score keeps us out of the moment.
Looking for results
One of the ways we can tell that we are in the moment is that we do things because they need to be done. We take an action because it is what feels right. When we act in this manner we are not attached to a particular outcome for actions – we do what we do and are open to whatever happens.
This does not mean we do not have a desired result from a particular action. It just means that we are not attached to the result. When we are attached to a result and that result does not occur then we can easily become sad or even depressed. Consequently, when we are attached to a result and it happens we can become overly elated to the point of not being in the moment. Either way we can easily get ourselves out of the moment when we become attached to a result.
Here is an example to show how this might work in a real world situation. Once upon a time companies used to make money. On occasion they would share some of the profits with their employees as bonuses.
People would know when the bonuses would be distributed. They would create a mental note of how much they thought they should receive in their bonus. It was very easy for many people to begin to equate their self worth to how much their bonus was.
When the bonuses were handed out their self worth was either validated or quashed. Depending on how their mental dollar figure of their self worth matched the dollar amount of their bonus – they would either validate their false self image or they would get mad at their boss because they thought they were worth more.
People kept themselves from being in the moment by becoming attached to an artificial measure of their self worth. They were keeping score of their self worth by how many dollars they received in their bonus.
A better way
A better way to accomplish this is to not get attached to the bonus. A bonus is just that – something extra that we had not planned on. For example, I once received a bonus of $100 dollars when many of my colleagues received bonuses in the thousands of dollars.
Of course I was disappointed. I was still early in my learning, but I recognized that I had to learn from my disappointment. Not so with one of my colleagues who had also received only $100. He picked a fight right in the office with one of the people who had received thousands of dollars. At least I did not have to be escorted out by security.
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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