Learning to Like Ourselves

Today we look at the importance of learning to like ourselves.  This is an extension of the ideas we looked at yesterday about not taking ourselves too seriously.  I found that learning to like myself was difficult.  Maybe my experience can help you avoid some of the difficulties I experienced.

 

Learning to accept ourselves

A few months ago I wrote about how I had finally come to like myself.  In this post I talked about the importance of accepting ourselves with all of our faults as well as all of our positive qualities.  The prelude to liking ourselves is accepting ourselves.

 

Many of us believe all of the criticisms that people disparaged us with from the time that we were children.  We have created our view of ourselves based on those criticisms and perceived shortcomings.  We have come to believe all the “bad” things that people have told to us about ourselves.

 

By believing these criticisms we have learned to believe that we are all those “bad” things that people have said that we were.  Let’s take a quick look at that.

 

First, the people who have denigrated us have been coming from their false self.  Why should we agree with what their false self thinks of us?

 

Second, by accepting and agreeing with these criticisms we are agreeing that we have more negative traits than positive traits.

 

Third, all of these criticisms describe our false self.  By agreeing with the criticisms we agree that we are our false self.  This only continues the false self tyranny over our life.

 

Finally, the only way that we can overcome our negative traits is to understand and emphasize our positive characteristics.  When we think that we cannot change our negative traits we are denying the power of our true self.

 

Accepting does not mean liking

A few months ago I wrote a post showing the difference between accepting something and liking it.  This idea has also come up in other posts.  In short, the difference is that when you accept something you admit the truth of it.  By admitting the truth of it you can change it if you don’t like it.

 

The biggest hurdle in learning to like ourselves seems to be that we do not want to accept our faults.  We think that if we do not admit our faults and only like the “good” parts of ourselves we will be just fine.  The problem is that those faults become our Achilles heel.  When we do not accept our faults we are in denial.  Those faults will always jump and bite us as long as we are in denial of them.

 

We started today by hearing that the biggest reason that we do not like ourselves is that we do not accept ourselves.  We do not like ourselves because we believe all of those things that people have said about us.  We are in denial of them, and therefore we cannot fix them because we refuse to admit them to ourselves.

 

Liking ourselves begins with learning to accept all of our perceived faults.  Once we accept them then we can change them.

 

Your holiday gift to yourself

This holiday season give yourself the greatest gift possible.  No one else can give you this gift.  Give yourself acceptance of yourself – that is something that only you can do.  I guarantee that this time next year you will be much happier if you give yourself this gift.

 

That is all for today.

 

Until tomorrow –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

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Copyright

© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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One Response to Learning to Like Ourselves

  1. jk says:

    Hey Noah!

    i have been in a cocoon for a while, and now i am back! Sometimes i just need to let the world turn around me.

    i liked what you said about acceptance of self. i think we seem to feel we need to be perfect. What we need to know and feel is to be whole.

    It is important to make mistakes, fall to our knees and get up and move on with the lessons in this journey.

    You pointed out earlier that acceptance is the first stage in the ability to love. i do think the most important part of that is learning to love ourselves with all our faults.
    when you really look at perfect….who would want to be perfect…….

    I am sending all of you who read this….lots of love and hugs…embracing each of our imperfections! jk

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