The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is no reason to be unhappy. We create a lot of what we think are reasons to justify our unhappiness. In the end these all boil down to a bunch of illusions. Today we look at this idea.
Thanks to the Circle of Miracles
Yesterday I spoke at the Circle of Miracles in New Britain, PA. I want to extend my thanks to Hannelore Goodwin and everyone there for being so accepting of me. Everyone was so gracious and generous in their acceptance and openness to the topics that were presented. I look forward to speaking there in the future whenever their schedule allows.
Why do we choose to be unhappy?
I have wondered about this question for a long time. Sometimes I think I have an answer and at other times I am not so sure.
We have written extensively about happiness on this site. True happiness comes from being in the moment. When we are not in the moment we are acting from our false self.
As we know, false self is constructed from fear. We can never be happy when we are fearful. At best we can find a temporary relief from some of the fears which will provide a temporary appearance of happiness. This cannot be a permanent and true happiness because the underlying fears are still there. True happiness comes from the recognition that the false self will never bring happiness. Consequently we quit seeking happiness from our false self.
But why is this so hard?
I know, I know, we have been across this ground many times before on this site. However, it is still a very important question and it seems to warrant additional investigation. My initial response is that we are attached to what we think happiness means.
By this I mean that we have a long list of things that we are conditioned to believe equate to happiness. We can start with money, a big house and end with a fancy car, lots of vacations, and plenty of time to play golf. Each of us has a false self that keeps a list of dozens of things that will make us happy.
What is the common thread that runs through all of these happiness making things? They are all external and/or physical. We think we will be happy because we have a relationship. We are looking for happiness in an external circumstance (the relationship). We are also looking for our happiness from the other person in the relationship. That is also looking for happiness externally.
It is pretty clear that things like money, a house, a car, and vacations are also external circumstances. They are supposed to bring us happiness, but at best they bring us a temporary respite from our fears. Why can’t we learn that these things are illusions?
The only reason that I have seen as to why it is so hard to let go of things is that we are so strongly attached to them.
It must be the attachments
We have dealt with attachments on this site before. We will probably deal with them again. They are so pervasive in our thinking it can be very difficult to learn to let go of all of them.
When we are children most of us are taught by parents who have attachments to the idea that external things will bring us happiness. We are taught that birthday and Christmas presents will make us happy. We are taught to find a good paying job that will make us happy. We were taught that there were dozens of things that will make us happy – and we were taught to be attached to them.
It is the attachment that is the real problem. The attachments mean that we have learned to identify with the possessions. Through the attachment we think that the possessions become a part of us. We are unhappy without the possession because it means that we are missing a piece of our self. That is how strong the attachments become.
Everyone around us has the same attachments. Does a fish know that it is swimming in water? If everyone around us has the same attachments how can we finally realize that the attachments will never bring us happiness?
Unfortunately, far too many of us never realize that the attachments are causing the unhappiness. Most of us get glimpses that the attachments and the physical objects are not making us happy. It ends with the glimpse because most of us do not know what to do after we get the glimpse.
What usually happens is that eventually we become so unhappy that we determine that there must be a better way. We experience so much pain that we finally open ourselves up to another way to live our life. This is where the spirituality comes in. We finally begin to knowingly travel our spiritual path because it is too painful to continue as we were.
I hope that in the near future we will find another way for most of us to learn to travel our spiritual path. I think that it is somewhat sad that we seem to find our spirituality as a last resort. We try everything else and then we try spirituality.
Through our spirituality we find true happiness inside of us. We learn to release our attachments because we learn to see the unhappiness they bring us. Our spirituality becomes the most important thing in our life, not something we do when we have a few spare minutes.
We started this post by saying that there in no reason not to be happy. We just have to learn to see through the illusions and excuses that come from our attachments. We simply stop justifying our unhappiness.
If you have any ideas regarding how we can help each other to learn that spirituality should be our first priority please submit your comment. Please let us know how you think we can help each other to stop finding spirituality as a last resort.
That is all for today. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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