It Seems Easier to Hate Than to Love

Have you ever noticed that it seems easier to hate someone that it does to love them?  Have you ever wondered why that is?  Today we will take a look at why many of us prefer to hate than to love.


Welcome back!

We extend our usual Monday welcome back to our readers.  We hope everyone had a great weekend.  Here in this part of the northeastern US we had a rainy day on Saturday with a cool and blustery Sunday.  Drop us a line and tell us about your weekend.


It can be much easier to hate than love

Today we will take a look at why it seems much easier to hate than it does to love.  Before we get into today’s post I will refer you to our two part post from last month entitled “Acceptance vs. Love.”


In those two articles we talked about the application of the concept of acceptance versus the usual concepts that get attached to the word love.  Today we will use either the word “acceptance” or the term “unconditional love” so that we can more exactly define the ideas we are discussing.


OK – enough of the preamble – let’s get to today’s discussion.  Have you ever experienced the immediate flash of dislike or even hatred for someone or something?  If you are like most of us you probably have.  Have you ever wondered why it seems easier to dislike someone or something than it is to like it or them?  Let’s explore that.


It all stems from false self

We spent most of the month of August writing and discussing the true self and the false self.  We will not rehash that discussion today, but read the blog archives from August of 2008 to get an idea of the discussion.


We have previously stated that false self does not like to be different.  False self also wants to be seen as either above or below those around us.  It just cannot cope with the concept of treating others as equal.


Let’s take a look at these two basic truths about false self.  False self does not want to be seen as inferior.  Because of this it does not like being different.  If someone or something is different than what false self thinks they or it should be then false self feels it must assert itself by attacking the difference.


That attack can come out many different forms.  The attack can be a simple and subtle insult or it can be outright hatred and violence.  Because few of us ever learn to train the false self many of us view these reactions as “normal” or “just the way I am.”  Essentially, because we do not properly train our false self we view anger and violence as “normal.”


The other idea that we mentioned is that false self always needs to see itself above or below those around us.  We discussed this idea in our article “True Self Sees Everyone as Equal.”  Because false self is insecure and fearful it must see that it is better than those who are different.  This is especially true when false self wants to exert power over someone.  It asserts itself in a dominant manner out of fear that the other individual(s) will do the same to it.


If false self is in a situation where it knows that it cannot dominate the other individual it decides to be subordinate and curry the favor of the other individual.  False self gets its way in this kind of a situation by kissing up.


To put these two concepts together – false self does not want to do the work of learning that we are all equal.  From its fear it attempts to dominate those around it and/or attack them.


Now that it has determined that these other individuals are not worthy of any respect, false self decides that it has no further need for them.  Once false self gets to this point it very easily slips into anger, violence, and hatred.


Being true self is hard work

Learning to operate on this planet from a place of unconditional love and acceptance is very difficult at first.  We have never learned that we have a false self that is out of control.  We look around us and see that everyone else is a false self that is out of control.  We see no reason to change.


Yet, we eventually experience so much pain because we are an out of control false self that we find another way.  That way usually requires many years of hard work to train the false self to listen to true self.  Then there are the setbacks. 


We get tired of the work and the pain returns.  Eventually we notice the pain and we go back to retraining false self.  Finally we recognize that there others around us who are on the same path.  We share our experiences of retraining false self and they share theirs.


Together we travel our separate paths in a mutually supportive environment.  Now it starts to become easier to show unconditional love and acceptance.  We understand that hatred only hurts us, not the object of the hatred.


Far too many people never see or accept the path that will take them out of their pain.  For them it is just easier to hate than it is to love.  It is what they know how to do.  It is also the easiest thing for them to do.  They just allow the hate reaction and do not recognize the pain that always follows.


The work on this planet will not be complete until we have helped all of our brothers and sisters to understand the choice for hatred they are making.  All we can do is to help our brothers and sisters to see that they are choosing to hate.  After that it is up to them what they do about that choice.  We stand there with open arms ready to accept them, but we must give them the freedom of choice to follow whatever path they choose.


Today’s bonus

Our bonus thought for today is this:


It is also much easier to care about things than it is about people.


If you think you know why this is please submit a comment.  I and your fellow readers want to know your thoughts.  Why is it that so many of us would prefer to spend our time caring about things and not people?


That is all for today.


Until tomorrow –


Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.



Discuss & Comment

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