Love vs. Acceptance Part 2

Yesterday we started taking a look at how I learned that acceptance is the same as unconditional love.  Today we will hear some additional thoughts about how to include the idea of acceptance into our concept of love.

 

Thankful Friday

As always, we begin our Friday post with our thanks.  I would like to thank JK for sharing her comments and stories with our readers.  We are attempting to develop this blog as a dialog and those comments were helpful.

 

Also, we extend our usual thanks to WordPress for making this site available for free and to FeedBurner for distributing the daily update.  Thanks!

 

We are still talking about “love and light”

Yesterday we got a feel for how the spiritual/new age community approached the idea of love thirty years ago.  Today we take a look at where we are today.

 

In the last few years I have begun to associate more with those that are in what I consider the “spiritual” community.  In my readings and my discussions I have come across ideas that are almost identical to what I encountered twenty-five years ago.  Not the spaceships.   I mean the idea that all we need to do is become filled with “love and light” and everything will be just fine.  OK – the question still is: How do we do that?

 

Attempting the explanation

Initially I tried to explain to any one who would listen that being accepting was at the base of being loving.  After all, how can you love someone if you do not accept them for who they are and where they are?  For that matter, how can you love yourself when you do not accept yourself for who you are and where you are?  Some people did not accept this idea and others say that they accept it, but still cling to the idea that love and light is “all you need to be”.

 

In thinking about how to further explain what I have come to understand, I have found several interesting ideas.  First, almost everyone will easily identify themselves as a loving person.  Parents who mistreat their children view themselves as loving parents because they have what they think is the child’s best interest at heart.  People who start wars view themselves as loving people because they love their country and want to do what is best for their family and countrymen.

 

One doesn’t get very far when they try to show someone that they are not loving.  That person has a very strong attachment to the idea they are a loving person.  When we imply that they are not loving it usually just strengthens that attachment.

 

So, the idea of getting people to become more loving by suggesting that they are not loving is out.  Next idea?

 

How about if we work with the idea of being accepting instead?  I grant you that many people also have a very strong attachment to being “accepting”.  However, I think it is less strong than the one to being “loving”.  I have found that when you concentrate on the minutiae of people’s lives you can more readily help them see where they are not accepting, or in other words, in denial.  All you have to do is look at their pain.  The trick is getting them to look at it and accept it.

 

Helping people

I won’t get into all the foorah about helping people.  I know that you cannot force your help on anybody.  I know that if I go around “trying to help people” I am insulting them by telling them that they need help. 

 

All I will say is that it is natural to want to help someone when you see they are in pain.  All you can do is attempt to share what has helped you.  You just need to be accepting of the outcome of the attempt, whatever that outcome may be.

 

I have seen people become more loving by recognizing their lack of acceptance of the small things in their life.  These are people who identify themselves as loving people, and in their own way, they are.  However, they are in pain because of lack of acceptance.

 

The paradox

What is interesting is that many of us do not realize that when we are not accepting of others we are actually not accepting of ourselves.  Our post on September 10 discussed this idea at length.

 

We will summarize that post here, but please read that post for greater detail.  When we do not accept or like something in someone else it is because we do not like that same thing in ourself.  As we learn to like accept ourself we also learn to like and accept others.

 

Sometimes it happens the other way.  We lean to accept and like others and then learn to accept and like ourself.  It does not matter how we do it, as long as we learn acceptance.  This makes our life much happier.

 

For this reason I prefer to talk to people about the idea of accepting themself and their life the way it is.  In time, as they become more accepting, they also become more loving.

 

Homework

Here is your homework.  For the next thirty days make the conscious attempt to substitute the word “accept” or “acceptance” for the word “love”.

 

I recommend that you start by adjusting your thinking.  When you think the word “love”, rethink the thought using “accept”.  After a few days or a week, begin saying “accept” instead of love.  I hope that in a month you will see the power of this idea.

 

Please post a comment and let me know your experiences.

 

Well – that is all for another week.  I wish everyone a safe and happy weekend.

 

Until Monday –

 

Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.

 

 

Discuss & Comment

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© Copyright 2008 by KanDu Associates, LLC 

 

The content of this blog is copyrighted by KanDu Associates.  All rights are reserved by the owner.  For reprint information please email:

 

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