Yesterday I visited a blog that talked about the difference between being right and being kind. I left a comment on the blog, but it started me thinking about this idea.
It looks like FeedBurner did not distribute yesterday’s post as an email. Nor did the RSS feed get updated on time. When this happens, the next email distribution usually contains the dropped email. Here is the link for those of you who would like to read yesterday’s post.
I am sorry that I am not able to attribute the site that got me to start thinking about this idea. I have checked multiple search engines and reviewed my browsing history. I cannot find the site so that I can give proper credit.
The idea that was discussed on the site was that one of the problems we face with false self is that it always wants to be right. If you look at other posts on this site we have talked about false self wanting to validate itself, not wanting to admit fault, and false self fiercely defending itself when it is questioned.
Clearly, on this site, we have no problem with the idea that false self always wants to be right. In many ways that expresses some of our major tenets of how the false self operates.
As I read that other site they talked about true self wanting to be kind. Although we have not specifically talked about the idea of kindness, it fits with the general characteristics of how we describe true self.
On August 12 we came the closest to talking about true self as being kind. Our post on that day was “True Self Sees Everyone as Equal.” In that post we looked at the idea of true self wanting to treat each individual with dignity and respect.
How much more kind can you be than to treat someone with the dignity and respect that we each deserve? We should treat everyone in this manner simply because we each are children of the same creator.
The Eternal Scuffle
As we read through the history of humankind we find this eternal scuffle between being right and being kind. Our political and religious history are mostly about people who have wanted to be right and went about proving it by forcing their “rightness” on others.
There were others who insisted on being kind. We find those in both our religious and political history as well. Many times those that wanted to be kind were in direct opposition to those who wanted to be right. This frequently set up the major religious and political struggles that fill our history books.
We also see this scuffle in the arts. First it was in our literature. Think of all the stories that set the ideas of good against the ideas of evil. Most of these can be viewed as the people who want to be right disagreeing with those who want to be kind.
As our modern methods of communication have evolved this eternal scuffle has moved into film, radio, and TV. This idea still makes up both our news stories and our entertainment stories.
After thinking about this idea for the last day I have found that it is pervasive in our society and our culture. The “good guy” is always attempting to be kind. Frequently this is called “doing good.”
He is constantly opposed by the “bad guy”. The bad guy usually is stuck on an idea that he can’t let go. He has to “prove” he is right even if he ahs to kill people to do so. Frequently we can equate “being bad” to the act of stubbornly clinging to an ideology.
Being right is being kind
The point I made on the blog (that I cannot find) was that I had a long journey of learning. The journey taught me that trying to prove false was “right” only caused me pain. I took many years to learn to be accepting of other people. As I learned that to be accepting I also learned that I needed to treat everyone as an equal.
As my sensitivity and acceptance increased I noticed that I was being more kind. I was more able to see when others were accepting as well. This has helped me to build more satisfying relationships with people.
So, as I was responding to the blog post yesterday, I realized that this is not a one or the other situation. It is not about being right or being kind.
My epiphany is that being right is being kind. It is not about false self being right. It is about learning to be in the moment. When we are in the moment we are being our true self. This means we are being both “right” and kind. When we are being true self how could we be anything else?
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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