Today, at my Tuesday morning discussion group one of the participants made the statement “judgments are attachments.” I had not heard it put this way before, but it made sense to me. Here is how I see that judgments and attachments are related.
The false self identity is based in fear. False self knows that it is not supposed to be making the decisions and becomes quite fearful. False self then creates attachments to mask those fears. Those attachments can be to anything imaginable. The most common attachments are to false self’s own thoughts, the people around false self, and false self’s possessions.
False self fiercely defends its attachments. Because it views the attachments as part of itself, false self attacks any threat to it’s attachments as if it were an attack on itself.
On September 4 we looked at the concept of judgment. A review of that post would be helpful to understand today’s post. We will use similar concepts today but will make a different explanation.
What is judgment?
As we illustrated on September 4, judgment is a false self defense mechanism. If false self can attack someone for being different from it then it does not have to look at itself. False self says that the other person/idea/situation is different than what it is. Therefore we must by right and they must be wrong.
Judgment means that false self does not have to look at the fact that it might be wrong. False self does not want to look to see if it is wrong. It is afraid that if it is wrong then there is something wrong with it. False self does not want to look at anything that might suggest that it is anything less than perfect.
By using judgment as the pre-emptive attack on an objective look at itself false self becomes extremely annoying. Have you ever noticed this about judgmental people? They were extremely annoying. Yet you probably did not understand why.
Here is the reason. A judgmental person is actually going around and telling everyone “I am right and you are wrong.” This behavior irritates everyone who comes in contact with this judgmental person. By everyone I mean everyone – whether they are coming from their false self or their true self.
The annoying judgmental person
When a judgmental person and their “I am right” behavior comes into contact with another false self the other false self usually reacts. The other false self says to the judgmental person “You are attacking me because you are saying I am wrong.”
This false self must now defend itself. What do you think it says to the judgmental person? It says “No – I am right and you are wrong.” I can see how this could develop into a very stimulating and interesting conversation.
The judgmental person also irritates someone who is coming from their true self. True self does not get mad, but it gets frustrated. True self realizes that as long as a false self is saying “I am right and you are wrong” it will not listen to the person who is coming from their true self.
The judgmental person has already decided what was right and what was wrong. They are not interested in the facts that might show false self to be wrong. Someone coming from their true self is sad and frustrated with this type of situation. They know that the judgmental person is hurting themselves by not being open minded and attempting to understand the true situation.
True self is sad about the hurt the judgmental person is inflicting on themselves. True self is also frustrated that they cannot get through to the other person to help them see that they are hurting themselves. True self sits back and watches the situation. Should an opening come true self will try again to help the other person to see for themself that they are indeed hurting themselves.
In summary, judgments grow out of our attachments. They become a protective mechanism to reinforce false self behavior. They keep false self from having to look at its shortcomings.
Judgmental people are very annoying because they are saying that they are right and that everyone else is wrong. By recognizing when we are being judgmental we can become much more pleasant to be around. We can also use our judgments to start to look at the attachments that caused the judgments.
That is all for today.
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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