I would like to welcome back everyone from a long weekend. Once again the weather in the northeast US was outstanding. We had cool evenings with seasonably warm days.
Our thoughts are with those on the central gulf coast who have had their weekend disrupted by hurricane Gustav. We extend an open hand to anyone who needs assistance. Just let us know if we can be of any help.
This week we will continue to look at false self behaviors. We will start by looking at what happens when we point fingers. Are you ready? Let’s go!
When you point a finger
We will start this example with a small demonstration. Extend you arm and point your index finger at a nearby object. Now take a close look at your hand. Notice that you have one finger pointing away from you, but there are three facing back at you.
Here is an explanation that I learned many years ago. I hope it will help you as much as it has helped me over the past thirty years.
One points away
Let’s first take a look at the finger pointing away from us. This is the finger we use when we blame someone or something for causing us a “problem”. We are using the finger to say that something external to us caused us a “problem”.
This is a false self behavior. False self does not want to take responsibility for most situations. It can always find an external cause to use as a scapegoat. Now it does not have to look at itself.
The last thing that false self want to admit is that it made a mistake or was deficient in any way. It uses the finger of blame and points it around until it finds a target that can explain away any “problems” that it might be having.
We are angry with a co-worker. False self pulls out its blame finger and calls out that co-worker for not thinking, lack of intelligence, or whatever it decides is the cause for it being upset.
We are upset with our spouse. False self’s blame finger points at them and accuses them for not loving us, spending too much money, not paying attention to us, or whatever else it decides it wants to be upset about.
The key point to remember is that the blame finger is pointing outside of us and saying this is the cause of our “problems”. Here is a paradox. Whatever traits false self is saying it does not like in the people around us, it is really saying that it does not like that about itself.
We will explore this paradox later this week. For now, just start to think about this idea. We will look at it in detail tomorrow.
Three fingers point back
The part of this example that I have always found to be the most powerful is discovering the other three fingers. Point your finger as you did a few minutes ago. Look at your hand again. There are three fingers pointing back at you.
Those three fingers serve as a reminder to look at yourself first before you blame someone or something else. Three fingers outnumber one finger. Watch carefully where the three fingers point before you look at where the one finger points.
This might seem a bit strange at first, but try it anyway. False self wants to avoid blame so it looks at external situations to find a cause for its unhappiness. True self knows that all “problems” are first solved from within before we solve the external manifestation of the “problem”. True self knows that we must look within before we look without to understand and resolve a “problem”.
Use this method of three fingers against one as a subtle device to help retrain false self. We are so accustomed to pointing fingers at our “problems” that at first it will be hard to even remember to look at our hand.
Don’t worry. One day you will be all caught up in blaming someone and this example will come back to mind. You won’t want to look at yourself, but you will remember that those three fingers tell you that you should. You might look at the three fingers and you might not. The important thing is that you remembered the example.
Next time the example comes up you might acknowledge that it has some validity. You might start to look back at your self instead of continuing to blame someone or something else. Over time, you will realize that all “problems” are resolved inside. You will see that false self keeps looking outside and that true self is inside and that true self is the answer to all of our false self “problems”.
I urge you to watch very carefully when you blame an external situation for your unhappiness. The sooner you see that this blame only continues your unhappiness, the sooner you will take responsibility for your “problems” and create your own true happiness.
Come back tomorrow when we will look at what actually happens when we do not like those around us.
Until tomorrow –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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