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Our custom is to take a minute each Friday to thank those around us. Today we would like to thank Oprah Winfrey for the work she is doing. Her extended webcast discussion with Eckhart Tolle about his book “A New Earth” has been helpful to many individuals. You can also obtain podcast versions of this webcast series and many of her XM Radio broadcasts on ITunes. We have no financial or other relationship with Oprah Winfrey or Eckhart Tolle. We only want to thank them for their work.
Next we would like to thank our readers who take the time from their busy days to read these posts. We hope what we are saying is helping you to live a happier life. Please let us know what else we can do to help you achieve your goal of that happier life.
Finally we would like to thank WordPress and FeedBurner for providing the free services that make this site possible. Thanks!
Yesterday we looked at the false self and its attachments. We talked about a few common attachments and got a feeling for how unhappy we become when we live a life controlled by those attachments.
We ended the post by recognizing that we have all asked ourselves at one time or another “Isn’t there a better way?” The idea I was attempting to raise was that we have all looked at out lives and recognized our unhappiness. We have all said there must be a way to be more happy.
There is. Let’s go find it!
True Self Sees Through the Attachments
One of the points that I am attempting to convey on this site is that we have never been totally disconnected from our true self. It has always been there giving us guidance. We have not listened to it for a variety of reasons, but it has always been there.
One of the best ways to recognize that the true self has been attempting to guide our life is when we step back and ask the question “Isn’t there a better way?” Remember, true self is the observer. When we ask this kind of a question we are asking it from the perspective of true self. True self is observing our life and our attachments and is attempting to tell false self that there is a better way. The problem comes with the answers to the question.
A Tangle of Interlocking Attachments
When we ask a question like “Isn’t there a better way?” we always get an answer. That answer may be drowned out by the false self chatter, it may be an answer that we do not like, and it may be an answer that we cannot yet understand. However, we always get an answer.
Let’s take a look at an example of a question that most of us have asked at one time or another about a relationship which we were in when we asked the question. The relationship has become unhappy and we ask “Isn’t there a better way?” The question we actually asked was probably a bit different, but the spirit was the same. We wanted to find a way back to happiness.
Let’s take an answer to that question and look at some of the possible interlocking attachments that might have kept us from either accepting the answer or doing anything about making a choice for happiness.
So we ask our question and we get the answer that we need to end our relationship with this person and move on with our life. True self has recognized that this relationship will not bring us happiness. Now false self has to sort through its attachments to determine if it wants to end the relationship. That sounds silly, but that is what happens.
A few common attachments that false self may have are things like “What will people think?”, “Where will I find someone else?”, “This person provides my security, how will I replace that?” Does anyone see a pattern in these questions? Raise your hand if you do.
That is correct. All these questions have to do with some external situation. Caring about what other people will think has become more important than finding our happiness. Finding someone else implies that we are unable to exist without a close personal relationship. For us to be “whole” we need someone else. Clinging to someone because they provide security is saying that we do not have the power or ability to provide our own security.
Each of these attachments is looking to some external situation for something which can only be found inside. True self provides our security. True self does not need anyone else to be whole; it is already whole, thank you very much. True self does not care what people think.
True self knows that other true selves will be supportive of its actions. Someone else’s false self may castigate us for breaking up a relationship, but their true self will recognize that we are choosing for our happiness. Who do we want to listen to, their supportive true self or their judgmental false self?
Learning to See the Attachments
In this example I am not trying to say that real life is not more complicated than the few attachments we have looked at. However, this is entirely representative of actual situations. In fact here are many more attachments that we deal with when we have to break up a relationship. If there were only these three then breaking up would be easy to do.
The point here is that we need to start to see the attachments. Not just when we ask true self for guidance regarding a relationship, but any time we recognize that we are unhappy. Remember, as soon as we see that we are unhappy we have begun observing from true self. The answers will be associated with pursuing our happiness and releasing attachments. Please learn to at least hear the answers, even if you cannot yet do anything with the answers by releasing the attachments. Eventually you will be able to utilize them, so for now at least listen to them.
Once again, this is a skill that will take a bit of time to master. It starts with recognizing this pattern:
- Without recognizing it we get caught in an attachment.
- We become unhappy.
- We recognize that we are unhappy.
- We realize that when we recognize that we are unhappy we have become the observer. Once we have become the observer our perspective is that of true self.
- True self will always have answers that will resolve our unhappiness. We need to listen to those answers because they will tell us to release some of our attachments.
- If we cannot yet do anything with those answers, we need to at least acknowledge that they exist.
- Practice, practice, practice.
That is all for today, and this week. Please learn to recognize that voice of true self that is telling you to let go of your attachments. I want you to find your happiness sooner than I found mine.
Have a great weekend!
Until next week –
Es kava turen hai
We work towards an identical goal.
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