Recognizing The False Self – Fear is Learned


Yesterday we heard about our True Self and our False Self.  We showed some ways to start to understand the difference between the two.  We also touched on why we have a false self.  Today we will take a look at one of the major debilitating aspects of the false self.


Are you ready to start to recognize how we allow our false self to rule us through use of fear?  Let’s go!


All Fear Comes From the False Self

Yesterday we looked at the idea that we do not learn to properly train our false self to listen to our true self.  To summarize that discussion, false self is supposed to be the physical interface for nonphysical true self to use during a physical lifetime.  False self more or less runs wild to make decisions because it has not been trained.  Because everyone else around us is doing pretty much the same thing we have no role model to follow to train our false self.


Underneath all of this lack of training false self realizes that it is not supposed to be all alone.  It knows that there is supposed to be some guidance so that it does not have to make the decisions all by itself.  When it realizes that it is not receiving proper guidance and training it decides that it must start to make the decisions by itself.


This determination to make the decisions starts within the first few years of a lifetime.  During the first few months of life false self looks to the parents and other care givers for this initial training.  This is the tremendous openness that we see in babies.  Their false self has not yet learned to take over.  Gradually the false self decides that it must take over.  It imitates what it sees around it, which are just other false selves who are running their lifetimes – and very poorly at that!


By the time the child reaches six or seven years old the false self is pretty well set as the one that is in control.  The true self becomes just a tiny, quiet voice behind all the mind chatter that is the false self.  That tiny voice is always calm, and always correct.  When we finally retrain the false self we are retraining it to listen to that voice.


So now we are at age seven and the false self is in control of the lifetime.  It knows it is not supposed to be in control, so it is fearful.  It knows that it does not have the answers, but it will not admit that fact.  From this point forward, almost all behavior that an individual exhibits is in some way related to fear or its smaller cousin, insecurity.


Fear Is a Behavior That Is Learned

In the preceding section we learned that all fear and insecurity come from our false self which has not been trained to listen to our true self.  Because our false self has decided to be fearful, that means that fear and insecurity are behaviors that we learn as we develop.  That means that we can unlearn them.


Riding a Bicycle

Let’s take a simple example of a fear that most of us had at one time and then learned to overcome.  Most of us were at one time afraid of riding a bicycle.  We perceived it as something on which it was difficult to balance.  We were afraid that it would hurt when we lost our balance and fell on the pavement.


In our own ways we each overcame this fear.  Were we born with this fear?  I say that we were not.  We learned it as we grew up.  Somehow, we faced the fear and learned to see through it.  We learned that we could ride the bicycle and gradually the fear subsided.


My point here is that all fears are essentially the same.  For some reason we decided to have the fear.  Maybe we chose to have it on our own or maybe someone told us we should have the fear so we decided to make the fear our own.  One way or another we decided to make the fear a part of our false self.


Once again, fear is a learned behavior.  Just like with the bicycle we can learn to face the fear and not let it affect us.  We wanted to ride the bicycle more than we wanted to have the fear so we learned to overcome the fear.  We can treat all of our fears in the exact same manner.


Overcome Fears by Accepting Them

We start overcoming our fears by realizing that they are nothing more than something created by our false self.  If we created it then we can get rid of it.  This may be difficult at first, but take a look back at your lifetime and give yourself credit for the fears that you have already overcome.  You will see that even though you may not have realized it, you were accepting that you had the ability to overcome the fear, and then you went and rid yourself of the fear.


The next thing we need to accept is that we have the fear.  Fears are big scary things.  We do not realize that we create them.  Therefore we are reluctant to admit that we have them.  We want to blame them on something else.  We have to accept that we allowed the fear to occur, and that we do in fact have the fear.


When we blame the fear on an external cause we are also saying that the external cause must remove the fear.  If we created the fear then no one or no thing external to us can remove it.  It is ours and we must accept it.


The best tool that I have found that I use to overcome fears is to realize that I created the fear and that the fear is causing unhappiness.  I say to myself that I would rather be happy than fearful.  Eventually I start to resolve the fear.  Have I rid myself of all fear?  Hell no.  Am I less fearful and more happy than I was thirty years ago?  Hell yes.


Things That Must Be Accepted

Here is a list of things that we must accept in order to overcome our fears:


1.     Accept that all fear comes from our false self.  Because false self knows that it is not supposed to be in charge, it becomes fearful.  By accepting those fears we choose to lead a scared and unhappy life.

2.     Accept that you can rid yourself of your fears.  We used the example of the bicycle.  We were once afraid of riding the bicycle.  We decided the happiness of riding the bicycle was more important than the fear of doing that riding.  We rid ourselves of that fear.  All our fears are essentially the same.

3.     Accept that you have fears.  Fears are scary things to look at.  We do not want to look at them.  Recognize that the fear will still be there even if we do not look at it.  The sooner we look at and accept it the sooner we can start to resolve it.

4.     Accept that the fears all come from us.  We are deceiving ourselves when we think that a fear has come from an external cause.  When we think in this manner then we also look for an external cause to resolve it.  That ain’t gonna happen!

5.     One of the most valuable tools that we can use is to accept that we have overcome some of our fears already.  We have heard the analogy of the bicycle, but we all have other fears that we have overcome.  Look back at your life and give yourself a Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! for all the fears that you have overcome.  Use these examples of progress to build your confidence to overcome other fears.


Well that’s all for today.  Fear can be a very difficult thing to deal with.  Please post any comments, questions, or examples of your having overcome your fears.  A discussion on this subject could be very helpful to our other readers.


Tomorrow we will continue to learn how to recognize when we are acting from our false self.


Until tomorrow –


Es kava turen hai

We work towards an identical goal.



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One Response to Recognizing The False Self – Fear is Learned

  1. Kerrylynn Mattingly says:

    This is a excellent article! I found it very helpful!

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